I thought this thread would either go in the INFP or Advice-Seeking forums section, but, since I don't think my question/advice-seeking relates solely to the INFP-type, I thought it would be better placed in the advice-seeking forum. If it's poorly placed, I will be happy to move it.
To clear up any possible pre-conceived notions, I don't believe either of us really has romantic feelings for each other. The situation is that the two of us have been internet friends for somewhere near a year, and we used to talk a lot before the summer. We talk online at a roleplaying forum (for writing) and she has told me, over and over, that she trusts me and she feels like she can tell me anything. She keeps telling me I'm "awesome," and she says a lot about how much she appreciates me- and I'm pretty sure she means it. Personality types came up at one point in our conversations (we had prior discussed a general like of psychology), and that's how we know each other's type.
The thing that bothers me is that, for the last two and a half months, she doesn't really seem to want to talk to me- even though, when on a rare occasion, we do, she says she loves it and she really cares about me and that she "really does want to talk to me." She could've fooled me- because, whenever I try to send her the private messages on the website I mentioned, she'll totally abandon the conversation within one or two replies. She hasn't responded to me in the forum at all. The website also has an IM system; she used to respond to me on it, but I guess that was before she figured out how to use it. Since she's figured out how to use it, she won't reply to me that often.
Since I found out that she was an INFP, even though I'm an INFJ (and thus, obviously, and "I"), I decided to try to be sensitive to the fact that she's an introvert, too- which was why I caved and even sent her private messages or IMs, in the first place. It kind of bothers me, though, when she tells me she's on summer vacation and has said to me, in her own words, that she "spends all day moping around, waiting around for her friends to get on facebook." Should I be taking a hint, here? I feel really bad by continuing to message her with issues I'm having, because I have had at least one or two before and I don't want this to turn into a "Talk to me all the time if you want to be my friend, ever." But, to be candid, the fact that she's damn near told me I'm her best friend ("I can't trust anyone else with this information but you," "You're the only person who cares to listen to me talk about my personal stuff,"), keeps telling me how much she loves talking to me and saying how "awesome" I am- really starts to hurt when you've been online all day, seen her online all day (not on facebook, on the site we met on, and that site will log you off if you're inactive for a certain amount of time), and then she complains that she never gets to see her friends online. We did have a very nice conversation the other day, but I think that was mostly because we were both feeling down in the dumps and kind of helped cheer each other up (it was discussed prior to the actual conversation...I sent her a message, and, as it turned out, she was invisible or something). Unfortunately, it just doesn't seem like she wants to talk to me that much unless she's depressed- and she doesn't even always want to talk to me then. It really hurts my feelings and I'm starting to feel used. Maybe I'd understand why she doesn't seem to want to talk to me if I didn't make an effort to contact her (for clarity, I do try to keep that effort quite controlled to avoid getting on peoples' nerves; please don't think I'm constantly sending her messages all the time, because I don't do that at all), but I do make that effort and it seems like- if she really liked talking to me that much or thought I was really that awesome- she might...gee, I don't know, respond? :/ I did go ahead and send her a message tonight (I'm not sure if I mentioned that, already), but- like I said- I feel bad doing that, because we have had other issues (which I know she has been trying to fix at least somewhat), and I honestly don't want to be up her @SS all the time with some kind of problem. If anyone thinks they might like to see the message I sent her, feel free to ask for it and I'll put it up- I have nothing to hide, I just don't really think it's relevant.
Coincidentally, I have experienced similar behavior from others, whom I also suspect are INFPs, which is why I do go ahead and direct some questions to the Personality Cafe's INFP population who are here and want to help.
My general questions are;
Is this a normal INFJ/INFP complaint?
...or maybe just a normal INFJ complaint?
Should I be taking the hint?
Is there a possibility that I'm being used?
Am I worrying too much/ trying to connect things that actually aren't or shouldn't be connected?
Specifically to the INFPs;
Is this normal behavior, for you? If so, why? (I ask so that I can understand and at least try to accept the fact that it is, if it is). Can I do anything about it, except confront her?
Might she be sending some kind of hint?
And, obviously, I'm asking everyone who's willing to answer what advice they can give me. Please be kind, and thank you for your time.