ENFJ: Relationship Resolution

Here is the ENFJ way. You will see the many and varied personality traits that ENFJs naturally show as they relate to others. If you are an ENFJ let this self-knowledge help and guide you in your marriage and family life. If you are in relationship with an ENFJ allow the wonder of what you learn here to guide your understanding of and responses to how ENFJs behave.

Myers-Briggs “Compatibility Test” Results-ENFJ Personality Traits
• The ENFJ will likely radiate warmth and love in a relationship
• The ENFJ will work hard at creating and maintaining harmony in the family
• The ENFJ is likely to be much less commanding, firm, authoritative in relationship
• The ENFJ is likely to be more responsive to the emotional needs of a mate
• ENFJs will communicate effortlessly
• ENFJs center their attention on the future and on potentials and meanings
• The ENFJs will take the lead in the home, lead with ease
• ENFJs are likely to be repelled and hurt by criticism and negative comments
• The ENFJ will likely focus their attention on creating love in the home rather than wealth and power
• The ENFJ under stress may become angry and withdrawn and become critical of self and others
• The ENFJ will desire sex to express their love but may not desire sex much if there is no romance preceding sex
• The ENFJ will typically be very loyal to a mate but can leave remarkably quickly once mind is made up
• The ENFJ is likely to be generous with praise and appreciation and needs it in return
• The ENFJ will be easily hurt by lack of appreciation or if they feel ignored
• The ENFJ likely will be sensitive, understanding of mate and family
• The ENFJ will desire much interaction with others
• The ENFJ parent may have difficulty with discipline



On the Personality & Marriage section of this site the statement was made that all relationships will encounter conflict. It is part of being human. How we experience conflict, react to it and move to solve it are instinctive. So we have some power and control and will INSTINCTIVELY and NATURALLY use our personality traits in a conflict resolution activity, at least some of the time. The following personality traits are keys to understanding the ENFJ approach to conflict in relationships/marriage.

ENFJ Conflict Reactions Personality Traits
• ENFJ will likely feel very surprised and misunderstood in conflict
• ENFJ is very likely to take the conflict personally
• ENFJ will become depressed as a result of the early conflict
• ENFJ will usually take the most harmonious approach to finding the solution
• ENFJ is prone to ignore the conflict until a value(s) is violated
• ENFJ typically will prefer to maintain the relationship rather than sacrifice relationship due to conflict
• ENFJ likely see conflict resolution activity as a door to improvement

ENFJ Conflict Resolution Activity Personality Traits
• ENFJ will naturally consider a people centered solution first
• ENFJ will rather quickly find a common ground and work toward a harmonious solution
• ENFJ will avoid criticizing almost at all costs
• ENFJ will typically look for harmonious solutions to the conflict
• ENFJ will focus on what each individual wants to take place
• The ENFJ will encourage everyone to contribute
• ENFJ will seek creative solutions

ENFJ Likely Positive Solutions Will Be:
• Agreeable, friendly, cordial, harmonious
• Helpful, useful, positive, beneficial to people
• Well organized, competent, capable
• Perceptive, shrewd, discerning, insightful
• Arrived at through consensus
• Win-win in focus

ENFJ Conflict Resolution Activity-Improvement Opportunities
• ENFJ will typically take everything personally
• ENFJ will not see debate as objective problem solving and not easily understand how others do not
• ENFJ may not see or seek all the possible facts and details
• ENFJ may overlook, disregard, write off solutions that seem non-people-oriented
• ENFJs are likely to ask questions when they are really wanting to make a statement
• ENFJ are prone to indirectness and thus appear to be manipulative
• ENFJ struggle if they cannot discuss things calmly and without strife
• ENFJs will have difficulty with those who openly blame and criticize
• ENFJs may decide too quickly, then regret it later
• ENFJ may overlook the obvious logic of a situation as clues to what is causing the problem
• ENFJ may later regret deciding so quickly, but the drive is there to remove the pain
• ENFJ may exaggerate the effect of their hurt feelings and others

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awesome. it is like it is telling both my past and future.