[INFP] "Don't take it personal" - what does it mean?

"Don't take it personal" - what does it mean?

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This is a discussion on "Don't take it personal" - what does it mean? within the INFP Forum - The Idealists forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; -I don't find you attractive, but don't take it personal. -You know, you're really annoying when you do that thing, ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists

    "Don't take it personal" - what does it mean?

    -I don't find you attractive, but don't take it personal.
    -You know, you're really annoying when you do that thing, but don't take it personal.
    -I have found that your personality is not compatible with mine, but don't take it personal.
    -Don't take this personal, but you don't understand the rules in this game at all.

    I'm sure you can come up with better (not so blunt) examples than what I just wrote.

    My question is: What on earth does "Don't take it personal" mean?

    Almost every time I hear it, my first thought is "you just made a statement about ME, why wouldn't I take it personal?".

    I just find it a very strange thing to say. Often, people want to give a very subjective opinion about another person. But to disallow criticism, they append "don't take it personal" to the end - giving it some kind of undeserved objective feel.

    -This is just how it is, or who I am. I'm just stating facts. Don't take this as if it was directed to you, even though it was.

    Is it just me who finds the expression unfair? If the other person reacts, s/he is being immature because she took it personal when it was just meant to be taken as [...].

    Maybe I'm confused because I'm not a native English speaker? Anyways, what do you think about this expression? Do you use it yourself? When is it okay to use it?
    Adriana, Hybrid99, Morpheus83 and 5 others thanked this post.

  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    I don't use it my self but from what I've seen it think it means that its not an actual problem, just something which they find disagreeable with you. That or just plain passive aggressiveness.

  3. #3
    INFP - The Idealists

    To me, I interepret it as the person is trying to let you know that although he or she is giving you some negative comments, it is not exactly a personal attack. It's to prevent you from feeling offended and think that the person dislike you personally.

    I don't really like this expression too, so I've never used it before. In fact depending on situations, I may be more irritated if the someone adds this into the speech.

  4. #4
    INFP - The Idealists

    I always remember:

    Anything that a person says about you says more about them than about you. It's their attitude to who you are. It doesn't have to concern you at all if you don't want it to.
    ladyspiggott, adagio and telepariah thanked this post.

  5. #5
    Unknown Personality

    Translated: I'm going to say nasty shit about you to your face, and you don't/shouldn't have the right to take any offense (because I'm like, pretending to be helpful, nice, etc... and don't want to be exposed).

    Easy as pie for passive aggressive folks who have no idea how to choose their battles wisely, mind their own business or to assert boundaries tactfully :P
    Last edited by Morpheus83; 10-28-2011 at 06:05 AM.
    Hybrid99, Oh_no_she_DIDNT, SLeigh and 4 others thanked this post.

  6. #6
    INFJ - The Protectors

    People say it to indicate they are going to say something negative about you but that they still like you. But yea i get what you mean. They say the phrase and therefore an otherwise insulting/hurtful comment is supposed to be graciously accepted.
    telepariah thanked this post.

  7. #7
    INFP - The Idealists

    I think they are more or less trying to help you by pointing out the truth but sometimes it just hurt to get the truth smacked in our faces so the "DTIP" phrase is just to act as if it is lightening the impact of the fall

  8. #8
    INFP - The Idealists

    It is just an empty phrase not even an excuse. Sometimes, it is a pause before a slap.
    telepariah, Morpheus83, Firelily and 2 others thanked this post.

  9. #9
    INFP - The Idealists

    Pure passive aggression as far as I'm concerned. If they can't take the time to think through how to provide you with feedback that clearly is not a value judgement about your character but instead focuses on how something you did made them feel, then it is just a lazy way of not taking responsibility for saying something deliberately hurtful to you. I personally hate that expression and I don't recall ever having used it in my life.
    Hybrid99, Morpheus83, Narrowroad and 1 others thanked this post.

  10. #10

    Usually it means they don't like something as a whole and when they express that to you, they want you to know it's more-so a personal preference in the grander scheme and not an issue you specifically created & made them dislike it -- you're not the origin, just the offspring / byproduct.

    So ie:
    "I only date Italians." (you're not Italian)
    "I hate it when people (in general) talk while they have food in their mouths." (you have a tendency to do that).


    Nonetheless, "don't take it personal" does get misused from time to time, but it's mostly meant to be used like the above.
    zeBunnyQueen thanked this post.

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