ISTJ - INTP Relationship

ISTJ - INTP Relationship

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This is a discussion on ISTJ - INTP Relationship within the ISTJ Forum - The Duty Fulfillers forums, part of the SJ's Temperament Forum- The Overseers category; Can you predict how an ISTJ - INTP relationship would work?...

  1. #1
    INTP - The Thinkers

    ISTJ - INTP Relationship

    Can you predict how an ISTJ - INTP relationship would work?



  2. #2
    ESTP - The Doers


    doom , gloom and failure! Actually as long as the INTP doesn't ignore the ISTJ then you should be ok. Communication will help all relationships.
    Marino, dirnthelord, Stephen and 1 others thanked this post.

  3. #3
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Yeah, I have no trouble communicating exactly what is on my mind. Luckily, I have been able stretch my boundaries to the extreme and is not bothered and she actually understands. She, however is very reserved and there are some places where she will ABSOLUTELY not go, even with me. I respect her boundaries but I trust her to tell me if something is bothering her. So far everything is GREAT, but I have read about how INTPs and ISTJs are opposites. We have mutual respect and I will be completely open with her, even if she isn't open with me sometimes.

    Communication is the most important aspect of the relationship, I agree.

    Any things other than communication I should be aware of? Things I should NEVER do around an ISTJ? I asked but she said she says there is nothing I could ever do that would make her feel differently. <3

  4. #4
    ESTP - The Doers


    Quote Originally Posted by Marino View Post
    Yeah, I have no trouble communicating exactly what is on my mind. Luckily, I have been able stretch my boundaries to the extreme and is not bothered and she actually understands. She, however is very reserved and there are some places where she will ABSOLUTELY not go, even with me. I respect her boundaries but I trust her to tell me if something is bothering her. So far everything is GREAT, but I have read about how INTPs and ISTJs are opposites. We have mutual respect and I will be completely open with her, even if she isn't open with me sometimes.

    Communication is the most important aspect of the relationship, I agree.

    Any things other than communication I should be aware of? Things I should NEVER do around an ISTJ? I asked but she said she says there is nothing I could ever do that would make her feel differently. <3
    well it is a tough one. DevilDoll when she comes back on might help more. Problem is with ISTJ is they are quiet and they keep a lot of thoughts and feelings to themselves. Not on purpose but I think they compartmentalize. They don't even know they are keeping their feelings inside a lot of the time. I know with mine I had to talk to her a lot and tell her what she is doing. Now I know an ESTP can do that, but it may not come as naturally to an INTP. You can do it if you want to though. You seem like you really like her though so I have high hopes.
    Marino, On the road to Damascus and Stephen thanked this post.

  5. #5
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Do you know WHY they keep everything to themselves? She is a Six as well so I'm assuming it is because it is because she is afraid of what others (esp. authority figures) might think of her. She doesn't know why, but for some reason that answer is not satisfactory. I want to fully understand how her mind works, that is what intimacy is all about. Should I try to get her to open up as I have been doing or is the reserved manner permanent? I'm not trying to change her, I'm just trying to get know her better.

    And yeah, I love her and I have high hopes as well. I'm willing to do ANYTHING for her, even if that means spending hours reading about what makes ISTJs tick.
    apathy, dirnthelord and Stephen thanked this post.

  6. #6
    ESTP - The Doers


    Quote Originally Posted by Marino View Post
    Do you know WHY they keep everything to themselves? She is a Six as well so I'm assuming it is because it is because she is afraid of what others (esp. authority figures) might think of her. She doesn't know why, but for some reason that answer is not satisfactory. I want to fully understand how her mind works, that is what intimacy is all about. Should I try to get her to open up as I have been doing or is the reserved manner permanent? I'm not trying to change her, I'm just trying to get know her better.

    And yeah, I love her and I have high hopes as well. I'm willing to do ANYTHING for her, even if that means spending hours reading about what makes ISTJs tick.
    well nothing is permanent but everyone falls into their habits eventually without practicing. Everyone has stuff you need to accept and this might be one of them. As long as she isn't keeping important things from you, then you are ok.

    DevilDoll help me!
    Marino thanked this post.

  7. #7
    Unknown Personality

    It depends on many things, not only communication. Is your NP too developed? is her SJ? you can clash when it comes to conventions. Quirky behavior can embarrass an ISTJ. Ive never gotten along with them, they always think of me as a loon, and i think most of them are boring.

    It doesnt have to be the case, like Ive said before, I dont think MBTI is a good manual for relationships. Youll find the most unexpected couples working out, and the ideal matches clashing.
    Marino, SeekJess and crumbs thanked this post.

  8. #8
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunless View Post
    It depends on many things, not only communication. Is your NP too developed? is her SJ? you can clash when it comes to conventions. Quirky behavior can embarrass an ISTJ. Ive never gotten along with them, they always think of me as a loon, and i think most of them are boring.

    It doesnt have to be the case, like Ive said before, I dont think MBTI is a good manual for relationships. Youll find the most unexpected couples working out, and the ideal matches clashing.

    No, other than MBTI and Enneagram, we are VERY nearly identical. We are so similar in our behavior, interests, quirks, feelings about people, ect. it's SCARY. <3

    She is not embarassed how nerdy I am in fact she is very nerdy herself. We haven't fought yet in any conversation thus far and agree with each other all the time. We can even anticipate how the other will feel about something and even complete each others' sentences. It's a total mind meld and we get each other completely, except for our NP / SJ differences of course, but we accept each others' types. She even typed herself as INTP for years and we just found out that she is an ISTJ today. So yeah, everything is absolutely fantastic. We want to spend the rest of our lives together and want to marry and have kids.

    ISTJs and INTPs CAN fall in love.
    Last edited by Marino; 08-07-2009 at 06:06 PM.
    Sunless thanked this post.

  9. #9
    ISFP - The Artists

    I think these two types would have lots in common. But as you're both I and T, you might have a tendency to withdraw too much and be together but separate. One of you might need to try to extrovert a little more to ensure you keep communication open and get out a bit.
    Marino and Stephen thanked this post.

  10. #10
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by TreeBob View Post
    DevilDoll help me!
    Hahaha! I'm sorry I didn't come to the rescue sooner. I've been out of town.

    Ok, I have no experience what so ever with INTPs. I don't think i've ever met one. But, I can tell you that (in my case) the reserved nature of the ISTJ is not always permanent. It's kind of a defense mechansm with me. I am reserved around people until I really get to know them and then I will quite willingly open up. Sometimes you can't get me to shut up. If I've gotten to know a person and I don't open up it's probably because I feel that I can't be comfortable around them.

    I don't suggest preassuring her to open up. I absolutely hate it when people push me to come out of my shell. If I want to I will. If I don't and you push for it, I'm likely to snap.

    Just so you know, I can not speak for another person. Just because we share the same type does not mean we are anything alike.

    This is really just my two cents. I hope I helped a little bit and if I can help in any other way just ask!
    Marino, Stoic and Layla thanked this post.


 

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