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This is a discussion on Introverts & Extroverts in love within the Myers Briggs Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by jochris We statistically represent 1% of the female population, so we're a bit of a rare find. ...

  1. #11
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by jochris View Post
    We statistically represent 1% of the female population, so we're a bit of a rare find. Not all of us are ungroomed either. ;)
    Do you know any american INTP chicks that are currently in america?
    Citizen of the World thanked this post.

  2. #12
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by mortabunt View Post
    Do you know any american INTP chicks that are currently in america?
    Can't even begin to explain how absurd I find this question.
    America is a big place. Try looking around the forum? I've seen quite a few other female INTP's around.

  3. #13
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Mid Atlantic East Coast. I'm tied down with school, so I can't really travel, and so long so long is the only other person on this board who is around my age (I'm 16).

  4. #14
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Great thread, avalanche! Thanks. I do question some of the information though.

    Quote Originally Posted by avalanche183 View Post
    Personality profiles include extroverts and introverts, which are opposite ends of the spectrum of personality types. Extroverts and introverts are often attracted to one another – because opposites attract – but may find it difficult to build a strong relationship or marriage.
    For myself personally, I have not found that I am attracted to opposites, and I know others who aren't either. I think this is too much of a generalization that is not true for everyone. It depends on the person.

    Introverts are more sensitive to social rejection, and don't always see the world as a safe place.
    I have NEVER feared social rejection. Why would an introvert fear something they don't want that much of? I understand the reasoning behind it, but I don't agree with it. I think this would be more of a fear for extraverts, since they need it more. Again, I think this is too much of a generalization, and though it may be true for some people, it is not true for everyone. Personality typing goes too far when it paints with too broad of a brush. We are all individuals, and our motivations and preferences are not always for the same reasons. I also think that distinguishing what is healthy and unhealthy (unstable) can sometimes be a problem, because determining it is somewhat subjective. It's sort of like the DSM. Now everything is a "disorder". If this type of thinking continues, it will soon be a disorder just to breathe. See here:
    Experts Debunk Psychiatry's DSM

    I'm just saying that I see similarities to the DSM in some of these personality 'boxes'...what's considered stable and unstable. I'm certainly not saying that some things are not unhealthy, because indeed they are, but it is often taken too far. Humans simply have variations both with each other, and from day to day. How do we establish a criteria for determining that some of those behaviors (some of them are actually quite mild and harmless) listed as unstable really are? I honestly don't think we always can. I depends on the circumstances. I'm just skeptical, I guess, but I think it's "healthiest" to be ourselves, without negative labels being placed on us.

    Quote Originally Posted by imru2 View Post
    Maybe if I could do that, it would work better for me. I always end up somewhere with some E and they are having such a splendid time and looking so thoroughly energized, I feel like I'm ruining their fun if I speak up and suggest that maybe we leave sometime soon.
    I can relate to that.

    Quote Originally Posted by jochris View Post
    It's a bit difficult to get an INTP to socialise more than he/she is naturally willing to, because we're lazy and usually see it as pointless, especially when it's with people who are expressive/dramatic/emotional/overly excited. To an INTP, being dragged out to socialise may be an annoyance and seem like a waste of time. Is it really a positive thing to do? Maybe it applies more to other introverted types? Compromise is important and inevitable though.
    I agree. Being with an E has never worked for me either, especially if they are on the strong end of extroversion. Those that I've been with are constantly annoyed and complaining about me not wanted to socialize more. I am satisfied for them to go out and do their own thing as needed, which also gives me some quiet time to myself, but they are never satisfied with it and do not reciprocate. They are instead frustrated that they can't drag me everywhere with them. And it sometimes drains me just to be around them one-on-one too, because the Es I've been with demand so much interaction. So, it just hasn't worked for me. It's not that I dislike them as people, but we're generally not compatible. I think it can work, but it takes just the right person.
    marckos, Mitchell, ducttape4miles and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #15
    INTP - The Thinkers

    I have to agree that DSM discriminates against INT's. It gives the INTP type in particular a stigma of schizoid. Even if we are normal INTP's, we're still classified as having psychological issues. Then you get a bunch of E psychologists who don't do anything except give you medications that really turn you schizoid and say that you need more friends. ALthough in a way, because I'm really high I, I need a moderate E, because I can't connct well with people. The world really likes to make INTP's feeling like broken, worthless shit.
    pluto, barbalootSuits, Zic and 9 others thanked this post.

  6. #16
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by mortabunt View Post
    I have to agree that DSM discriminates against INT's. It gives the INTP type in particular a stigma of schizoid. Even if we are normal INTP's, we're still classified as having psychological issues. Then you get a bunch of E psychologists who don't do anything except give you medications that really turn you schizoid and say that you need more friends. ALthough in a way, because I'm really high I, I need a moderate E, because I can't connct well with people. The world really likes to make INTP's feeling like broken, worthless shit.
    WOW Mort. That post reminded me of my INTP gf. She went into a psychotherapist or something who referred her to a psychiatrist. She isn't bonkers at all but they put her on 120mg of Cymbalta. WTF! I was wondering about the horse pills... they actually made her go crazy while she was on them. Oh yeah, and they said she needed more friends, lol. Crazy.

    Quote Originally Posted by pluto View Post
    Great thread, avalanche! Thanks. I do question some of the information though.

    For myself personally, I have not found that I am attracted to opposites, and I know others who aren't either. I think this is too much of a generalization that is not true for everyone. It depends on the person.
    Interesting.. the article said often so they did not mean in every situation, and like you said, it depends on the person. I've seen how I can be very attracted for extroverts for a variety of reasons, but can also see why I would be more attracted to introverts for various reasons as well.


    Quote Originally Posted by pluto View Post
    I have NEVER feared social rejection. Why would an introvert fear something they don't want that much of? I understand the reasoning behind it, but I don't agree with it. I think this would be more of a fear for extraverts, since they need it more. Again, I think this is too much of a generalization, and though it may be true for some people, it is not true for everyone. Personality typing goes too far when it paints with too broad of a brush. We are all individuals, and our motivations and preferences are not always for the same reasons. I also think that distinguishing what is healthy and unhealthy (unstable) can sometimes be a problem, because determining it is somewhat subjective. It's sort of like the DSM. Now everything is a "disorder". If this type of thinking continues, it will soon be a disorder just to breathe. See here:
    Experts Debunk Psychiatry's DSM
    I see the logic behind the argument for introverts being more inclined to be afraid of social rejection. For the most part, extroverts would be more likely to encounter more social situations, and thus get rejected more. But more often, they would like to be in social situations anyways. Introverts on the most part, would not frequently engage social situations and would be more likely to be nervous. It's a newer environment. But again, like you said, and what I think the article points out, is that this is not 100% for everyone :) That's the beauty of individuality, where we are all different and respond differently to certain scenarios.
    pluto and stargazing grasshopper thanked this post.

  7. #17
    INFP - The Idealists

    I am a INFP, and i have a very hard time dating E's. I have never successfully dated one, although i have gone on dates with lots of them.

    I think for lots of I's its not a problem, but i have such strong feelings about conflict avoidance that E's are very hard for me to deal with. They don't always deal well with my need for space, and i can't handle constant communication and hanging out so often.

    I recently read on another site that the ideally E's and I's should be in relationships together. It's interesting to me because its so opposite of what i have found to be true.

  8. #18
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by avalanche183 View Post
    I see the logic behind the argument for introverts being more inclined to be afraid of social rejection. For the most part, extroverts would be more likely to encounter more social situations, and thus get rejected more. But more often, they would like to be in social situations anyways. Introverts on the most part, would not frequently engage social situations and would be more likely to be nervous. It's a newer environment. But again, like you said, and what I think the article points out, is that this is not 100% for everyone :) That's the beauty of individuality, where we are all different and respond differently to certain scenarios.
    Yes, of course. I see the logic behind it as well. However, personality typing has serious limitations in terms of what it can predict or assume about individuals or their motives. That is why it's so important that it not be used to make generalizations which often go beyond the scope of its capacity. However, that is done often, both in articles and everywhere else, so it's always refreshing when it is pointed out that individual differences do exist.

    I also wonder to what degree the other functions may affect this. Perhaps there are some introvert types (when taking into account all 4 letters of personality) who may be more inclined to fear rejection than others, because certain introverts are much more likely to be social rebels who have no concern for acceptance. I'm also curious how "rejection" is being defined. Does it mean that in a social situation, you are ignored or treated badly? Or that once it's over, no one pursues further contact? Or that you are just seen as an oddity to be avoided by society in general? Exactly what?

    Despite the degree to which I limit my contact with others, social situations do not make me nervous at all (they just bore and drain me), and I am not "shy" either, both of which are normally assumed to be introvert characteristics. I think there is probably a tendency for statistics to show more of a correlation between introversion and these characteristics, however, as we have both pointed out, it is certainly not true in every case. And I can't help but wonder how many cases are actually fear of rejection, or simply exhausting boredom. And I'm quite certain that we could find this to be an issue for extroverts as well, who, it would seem, are much more dependent on acceptance from others. I love being rejected socially, because it means no one will bother me and start making demands on me.

  9. #19
    INTP - The Thinkers

    Quote Originally Posted by mortabunt View Post
    An INTP girl, I didn't know you "ladies" existed.
    No, we exist. But I'm trying to figure out if you're joking or for real.

  10. #20
    Unknown Personality

    i'll probably get some shit for this -- i will never date an E. being friends with them is one thing, but being in a relationship, no no. it would be so exhausting and frustrating.
    Goodewitch and Helen Graham thanked this post.


 
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