@Oluwadan Take the K,W,M,L Quiz and do some studying up on the archetypes.
This is a discussion on Why I Would Never Date Based on MBTI within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; @ Oluwadan Take the K,W,M,L Quiz and do some studying up on the archetypes....
What KWML quiz?
Yes I think Jung had a lot to say on 'transcendance'. I know many people who use various systems to consider compatibility and lose endless opportunity for development in the self and other. Yes I believe the most important factor in an successful relational transaction is motivation for something productive, followed closely by compassion and patience. No necessarily in that order.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
I agree with you. MBTI is a tool in a set of many tools you can use to get the job done. Its just one measure of many. There are a mixture of things to consider when dating, sexual attraction is one of the key things that must be there. It gets you hooked and then similar values and compatibility kick in to help your relationship endure past the chemical love high. Some people don't realize their relationship was hanging on because of a love high that finally waned. There are hang-ups and flaws from both people that make it even more complex, you got to prioritize which is most important and what you can live with. As strange as it may seem, there are people where sexually attraction is low priority and prefer low to no sex, for some getting the feeling of being protected and nurtured take priority instead.
I'm so glad I looked beyond MBTI to find my latest guy. I focused more on how he treats me and our shared values. But mostly my decision was based on a "vibe" I picked up from him on our first date. He tells me the same.
We had talked on the phone for a while before our first date. On our date, I noticed how easy it was to be with him. We both didn't want the night to end. I also noticed how good I felt about myself while with him. I didn't feel as if I had to hide parts of myself. He was very receptive to my stories and my humor. And he had me spitting out food in laughter when he shared his stories.
I didn't focus on MBTI or even try to figure out his type (my guess would have been way off because he is so attentive). Instead, I focused on the here and now and because I did, I think I may have found the man of my dreams. No kidding.
However, when complications hit, I know I can use MBTI as another resource to help me understand him and more importantly- to understand myself better.
My guy is ISTJ btw. There is not much support for me to be with ISTJ MBTI theory-wise or even forum wise. Too much negativity has been said about ENFP/ISTJ combo or any other kind of combo. So this reinforces the idea that sometimes it's good to just shut out the outer noise and to instead just focus on the heart.
Bottom line is: I like who l like, his MBTI is part of him and I will work with it after the fact. It shouldn't be apart of my choice to date him.