[SOC] - A SX First Theory on the Parallels between Flirting and Horror Writing.
by, 09-02-2019 at 05:37 PM (405 Views)
There is a type of flirting that I am particularly drawn towards, and sampling a bit of it not long ago basically my mind coil on itself to figure out what it is about it that is so energizing.
It's essentially all about a surgically precise withholding and disclosure of data- Mystery. Horror and eroticism are two sides of the same coin. 0 and 1 Destruction and creation.
I used to be utterly apathetic about Horror media, until I discovered most of it is simply horribly written, especially when it comes to movies. Less so concerning videogames.
I subscribe to Yahtzee's division of horror (In general, not just games) into 3 types. See 0:54
I am also staunchly a fan of the second type, and I gravitate towards this kind of mechanic in writing. The good horror writer paints a picture in your subconscious using different hues of plausible deniability. Directing your imagination via selective withholding and disclosure of data. And because you know your deepest fears on a subconscious level, the use of plausible deniability causes you to tap into that knowledge, leading to an universally intense experience in spite of each reader's character differences.You see, there are three kinds of horror games: first, there's the kind where you're in a dark room and a guy in a spooky mask jumps out of a cupboard going "abloogy-woogy-woo" - that would be your Doom 3; then there's the kind where the guy in the spooky mask isn't in a cupboard but standing right behind you and you just know he's going to go "abloogy-woogy-woo" at some point but he doesn't and you're getting more and more tense but you don't want to turn around because he might stick his cock in your eye - that would be your Silent Hill 2; and then there are horror games where the guy in the spooky mask goes "abloogy-woogy-woo" while standing on the far side of a brightly lit room before walking slowly over to you, plucking a violin, and then slapping you in the face with a t-bone steak - that would be your Dead Space. See, the second one is best, because your imagination is doing all the work. All a good horror game needs to do is hand you a piece of sandpaper and shout encouragement as you vigorously massage your own undercarriage.
And I find this is also what a good flirter does: they disclose or withhold data to facilitate a largely intimate yet private experience. Flirting creates a sort of intimate bubble containing you two that only exists as long as neither of you openly acknowledges it exists. Each gesture, each carefully ambiguous phrase, each bit of banter, each glance and change in voice is a private pleasure because of what it could be. A cross between a fog of war and a masquerade. And just as it happens with horror, because you know your deepest desires, the pleasure you derive is only limited by your imagination.
It's sort of reminiscent of the tale of Orpheus and Eurydice. When emerging from the underworld, the deal between Orpheus and Hades dictated that Eurydice would live so long as he refrained from looking back at her until they were back in the surface. In both flirting and horror tension only remains provided you let the unknown remain unknown. This is probably why sexual tension is associated with a sense of danger.
I struggle with not looking back. I struggle with not asking and confirming my own theories, so I often burst that subconscious intimacy bubble flirting creates. Mutual acknowledgement happens, plausible deniability ends and expectations are established. This ruins everything because there is a limit to what could be now that patterns are established. The vase, once broken, is never quite the same even if mended.
Over the years I've come to learn the enjoyment stems from the mystery, from being in the dark, from neither confirming nor denying, from that plausible deniability. My mind does all the work for the other person to the point it often exceeds their expectations...and their ability to deliver.
In a sense you could say flirting is treading on the boundary between individuality and intimacy. It's essentially assisted mental masturbation by proxy.
Going back to my experiences with flirting, I have something of a theory: in MBTI types, eroticism is largely tied to the functions that have the opposite tendencies to the person's type inclination (2 and 4) . In my case, as INTP, it'd be Ne and Fe. The kind of flirting I enjoy is heavily reliant on teasing and banter, which has a Ti foundation, but because of the nature of it the main tools used to navigate the situation are Ne(Intuition) and Fe(Feeling) . That is why I am energized by it.