Type 9s as children
by, 06-22-2018 at 11:32 AM (131 Views)
I've noticed something lately that's been bothering me a little bit. In a lot of enneagram writing people talk about how certain types may have behaved as children. For type 9, the common description is that we were "easy children" who would tune out when there's conflict. We suppressed our emotions and did everything we could to be a good kid. To some degree, that was true for me. But I don't think it gives a complete picture of how nines might behave as kids. I don't think it's accurate to assume that nines have unusually high levels of emotional intelligence compared to other types as children.
I was very bad at holding in my anger as a child. I sometimes got extremely irritable with my younger siblings when they disrupted my sense of peace. When they got on my nerves I would try to make them shut up, which usually caused more conflicts than it solved. I felt a strong need to keep the peace, but I was terrible at conflict resolution. And I was downright lazy when it came to chores. Even if it caused my mom to get upset, it took a lot to get me to help out around the house--I was a chronic eye-roller for sure. I may have been a 9, but more often than not I acted like a kid: lazy, emotional, and egocentric. But there was a point in my life when I completely changed this behavior. I learned that keeping my mouth shut was a much better way to stop the fighting, and I began to see how much stress my mom was under and started helping her out a lot more. It wasn't until high school that I began to fit the common descriptions of a 9.
Maybe my experience isn't as common among type nines, but a lot of the 9-kid traits I hear about took awhile to click for me. Has anyone else had a similar experience?