So I've noticed my coping mechanism of choice in relationships, once things go truly bad, tends to start out with a very 9-ish dissociation and numbness, and then I tend to just dive in and use that state to bring up everything left related to the situation that can still hurt, and bring it up until it stops hurting and all the weakness left in the situation is burned out. So, whatever is still vulnerable or weak, I wear out while still spaced out in a 9 sort of way, since I can take it all like that (and if I go too far, the 9ish numbness just gets that much stronger).
I've been wondering lately if I'm 9w1 or 1w9, since I seem very strong in both and the distinction isn't huge, but since this seems to be probably one of the most distinct things I do, it seems like a good start. Does anyone else relate to this? I know 1s are focused on not making mistakes, on being perfect, which I think is what this is. I am a masochist, but this isn't about wallowing so much as making sure if the situation repeats itself, I can handle it more rationally in the future. But it's only possible with the 9 numbness, so maybe that's more 9w1 than I realize?
Also, I've read a decent amount about this, but. Can you be close enough to two types to be essentially half and half? Because I feel like I slip back and forth between 9 and 1 so much that neither is really stronger. And instinctual variants seem split too--I'm very sx with 9, very sp with 1, but not at all the other way around. I mostly settle on 1w9 because it seems to explain why I pass as INTJ sometimes (despite being very INFJ), but. Sometimes I really doubt which is stronger.