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Understanding the difference in N vs S communication

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This is a discussion on Understanding the difference in N vs S communication within the Cognitive Functions forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; It's rather simple, intuitives are more abstract and lateral whereas sensors are more concrete and linear....

  1. #21

    It's rather simple, intuitives are more abstract and lateral whereas sensors are more concrete and linear.

  2. #22

    Quote Originally Posted by iblameyou View Post
    Great topic. Thanks for posting.

    A friend of mine told me that as well. N bound ideas off of each other. It's interesting because I do that with certain intuitive friends but not all intuitive of them. I guess my question is why? Hmm.
    1. It could be because you’re using different types of intuition. I have some close INFJ friends, and I love them , but sometimes conversation between us can actually be tough (like you’ve noticed). For me, I sense the tension when I want them to add to the idea at hand or continue to build (I’m in Ne exploration mode), and they’re ready to come to a conclusion (they’re in Ni truth mode). So I’ll say my opinion on a topic, and they’ll say, “so what you’re/we’re saying is…” and sometimes I get irritated because I don’t feel like we’ve fleshed the idea out enough to come to any conclusions.

    2. It could also be about different “levels” (might be the wrong word!) of intuition. I have a great ENFP friend, but I lean more in the N direction than she does. In this case, we’re using the same type of intuition, but she isn’t as interested in our conversations/the stereotypical “N-style” of conversation as I am.

    3. It could be because of the other functions. For example, back to my INFJ friends, they use Fe, and I use Fi, and this can cause problems. Sometimes our N’s work together really well, we consider a topic in depth and come up with some kind of conclusion or “truth” together, but then our judgments of that truth are different. Concretely, this often looks like me saying “So A is true, and I think A is right,” and my INFJ friend says “well I agree that A is true, but who are we to say that A is right” or “A might be right for some people but not for everyone.” And I feel frustrated because I want to know what they think is right (I often find myself saying “ok but what do you believe is right/wrong/whatever?”). It’s not that they don’t have opinions; it’s maybe that their opinions are more fluid than mine?

    Let me know if you have any thoughts, or if you can (or can’t!) relate to this at all!!

  3. #23
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Ne types probably need more stuff to bounce off of. I usually don't feel like I really need to discuss ideas much at all. I wouldn't want to be dismissed, but otherwise I'm mostly my own playmate, and in that I actually like not having to explain my rules or idiosyncratic perspective to anyone else. Instead what I'd say I get out of conversations is mostly Fe-stuff.

    So it might not be so much of a N/S conflict as it is a Se-Ni and Ne-Si conflict.
    attic and perpetuallyreticent thanked this post.

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  5. #24

    An INFP friend of mine and I have established a working way of flowing conversation, that uses both her Ne and Fi as well as my Ti and Se : Usually she will come up with some kind of topic about something superemotional that happened to her, and I will , instead of just letting Ti do it's job silently, vocalise my thinking process and narrow down some of the ideas or shift them in the virtual room, then I remember some S data that I have collected through my life and will comprimise this into a fairly small output- but with a qestionmark. That's important, because if it's a question, her Ne will get triggered and not cut off, and we can reiterate the whole process again and again, ending up wiser because my logic will baffle her, while I have the possibility to save tons of raw idea material that I'd never be able to come up with :D
    princessJAY thanked this post.

  6. #25

    I've noticed it a lot between me and my ISFJ girlfriend. It helps a lot that we accept each other's differences in communication and both enjoy analyzing ourselves and others. Whenever we arrive at a point in our communication where we plainly misunderstand each other, we take a step back and try to find out where it went wrong. I actually really enjoy the experience.

  7. #26
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by SpaceLumia View Post
    1. It could be because you’re using different types of intuition. I have some close INFJ friends, and I love them , but sometimes conversation between us can actually be tough (like you’ve noticed). For me, I sense the tension when I want them to add to the idea at hand or continue to build (I’m in Ne exploration mode), and they’re ready to come to a conclusion (they’re in Ni truth mode). So I’ll say my opinion on a topic, and they’ll say, “so what you’re/we’re saying is…” and sometimes I get irritated because I don’t feel like we’ve fleshed the idea out enough to come to any conclusions.

    2. It could also be about different “levels” (might be the wrong word!) of intuition. I have a great ENFP friend, but I lean more in the N direction than she does. In this case, we’re using the same type of intuition, but she isn’t as interested in our conversations/the stereotypical “N-style” of conversation as I am.

    3. It could be because of the other functions. For example, back to my INFJ friends, they use Fe, and I use Fi, and this can cause problems. Sometimes our N’s work together really well, we consider a topic in depth and come up with some kind of conclusion or “truth” together, but then our judgments of that truth are different. Concretely, this often looks like me saying “So A is true, and I think A is right,” and my INFJ friend says “well I agree that A is true, but who are we to say that A is right” or “A might be right for some people but not for everyone.” And I feel frustrated because I want to know what they think is right (I often find myself saying “ok but what do you believe is right/wrong/whatever?”). It’s not that they don’t have opinions; it’s maybe that their opinions are more fluid than mine?

    Let me know if you have any thoughts, or if you can (or can’t!) relate to this at all!!
    1. Interesting point. I have a lot of xNFP friends, and boy! do I love quirks and all, but that Ne can be a tough ride. Sometimes I'm riding wild and sometimes I'm super slow. I'm teaching myself to not jump to conclusions and let the conversation flesh itself out, but as soon as the person is talking I'm connecting dots (like lighting speed) and I came to my own conclusion already. Sometimes I'll force myself to flesh the idea out with the NFP friends and not have a conclusion. I feel like I'm learning from my Ne friends how the conversation can take us to so many directions. It can be so exciting too.

    2. Hmm. Looking at my friendships, I connect welll with ISFP and ISTP compare to my ENFP and ENTP friends. It could just be the E vs I that change the direction. I think it must be the Ni-Ni wave length because Ni and Ne can be very fun but both sides can easily misunderstood each other.

    3. My INFJ friends and I have no problem disagreeing why both of our truths are incorrect. I like to be challenge and see if there's any hole in my truth. But yeah, when I have something to say my opinion can be straightforward and not fluid, or I can be quiet and observing the conversation since I don't have any opinions. I may contribute here and there, more fluid response.

    Thanks for responding!

    Quote Originally Posted by Drecon View Post
    I've noticed it a lot between me and my ISFJ girlfriend. It helps a lot that we accept each other's differences in communication and both enjoy analyzing ourselves and others. Whenever we arrive at a point in our communication where we plainly misunderstand each other, we take a step back and try to find out where it went wrong. I actually really enjoy the experience.
    Do tell more. I want to know how the conversation flows and I'm curious to know how confrontational they are. I was reading from an online blog that INFJ will confront once they see a pattern they dislike but ISFJ will wait it off for awhile. How true is this in your experience?
    SpaceLumia thanked this post.

  8. #27

    Quote Originally Posted by iblameyou View Post
    Do tell more. I want to know how the conversation flows and I'm curious to know how confrontational they are. I was reading from an online blog that INFJ will confront once they see a pattern they dislike but ISFJ will wait it off for awhile. How true is this in your experience?
    Since we are both extremely conflict avoidant, there's never an instance of anyone being confrontational. We've both become pretty good at saying or doing things in a way that is a bit 'off'. When that happens, that's a reason for the other to ask about it and it's a safe environment to discuss the problem. Neither of us ever directly criticizes the other in any way, we don't need to because we're both very good at noticing slight differences in the other's behaviour (just in a different way of course).

  9. #28

    Quote Originally Posted by narcissistic View Post
    It's rather simple, intuitives are more abstract and lateral whereas sensors are more concrete and linear.
    I can't agree with linear. I'm dyslexic. (There are many variations under the dyslexic heading.) My sequential thinking score was below the 10th percentile. I'm in college and working very hard to organize my papers to be linear enough for the TA's and professors reading them. I jump around too much and forget to explain the connections. But I get kudo's for original thought. Most dyslexic's need the big picture before we can understand the details. I'm still a concrete thinker.

    LD Resources » Blog Archive » Dyslexia and Autism: Differing Ends of Brain Connector Spectrum

    " Fascinating article about some key differences in the brain structures of people with dyslexia and those on the Autism Spectrum (ASD). Dr. Manuel Casanova is a neuroscientist in the University of Louisville, in the Department of Psychiatry. He’s been focusing on certain types of cortical cell connectors, called mini-columns, which are strands of brain fibers important in connecting brain cells to other brain cells. Apparently and to me not surprisingly, people with dyslexia show an opposite pattern of connectivity than people with Autism Spectrum. Pardon the expression, but “dyslexic brains” favor longer connections at the expense of shorter ones.

    People on the autism spectrum have brains that favor shorter connectors. The longer ones seen in the brains of people with dyslexia indicate an easier time with big picture thinking and abstraction. The short connectors, conversely, makes short and more localized connections. Other studies also indicate that brains of people with ASD are inefficient with making the larger generalized connections between more distant areas of the brain. This helps explain that while people with this short connector type of brain structure may see small details easily, might not quickly put together the social meaning."

    I don't experience difficulty with abstract thinking or understanding ideas. I prefer to experience the world on a concrete level. I love basketball and volleyball and hiking and skiing and rock climbing. My favorite realm is the physical world. I struggle with linear/sequential thinking. I can get lost in thought sometimes but I don't always have the vocabulary to share them. Like the idea of god didn't make sense to me when I was little. If he was there in the beginning, that implied time was linear but if time is linear and god created the universe then who created god? Or if there was a big bang where did the gases come from? I don't like god or big bang theories. I think they're wrong and I could never articulate why. I might not be smart enough or too concrete. But both explanations are dis-satisfactory.

    I don't like talking about my abstract thoughts because I can't support or explain them. My issues with linear creation for instance is the closest I get to articulating them. I redirect my thoughts to concrete things because I can work with them. I disagree concrete thinkers are linear in nature.


     
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