Not all ENFPs and INFPs are the same. I'd say majority aren't submissive. Our 'secret' is that we have S and for that matter Si low in hierarchy, INFPs seem especially 'submissive' because of our overall introverted tendency to dwell inside of our selves and our inner world of ideas and dreams. There is little visible 'external' energy.
Se is there in the moment, therefore you can feel their physical presence. They are part of now body and mind. We have Si.
Te is external and and functions in this regard similarly to Se - assertiveness (+need for structure).
Both are usually low in our hierarchy.
The word you're looking for is 'assertive' not dominating. Try mocking an E/INFPs identity and dreams and ESFJs will be humbled.
The most traditional female types I know irl are actually ISFJ. Go figure that. They try to be 'modern' and are somewhat independent, but they're still usually stuck with tradition much.
ENFPs notice social norms but doesn't give much of a damn. My ENFP friend is the most independent person I know of.
Chances are INFP is utterly oblivious to the norms. (my case)
If I looked for energy somewhere it would be astrology and birth chart. A lot of manliness in mine I assure you.