Fe, Fi, and Emoting

Fe, Fi, and Emoting

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This is a discussion on Fe, Fi, and Emoting within the Cognitive Functions forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; I am an emoter. When I am upset about something, or on the other hand unusually happy, I like to ...

  1. #1
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Fe, Fi, and Emoting

    I am an emoter. When I am upset about something, or on the other hand unusually happy, I like to let people know. That is, if I think someone will care to know (it's not like I go around emoting on complete strangers). If I am all alone, on the other hand, or I don't think anyone around me will be interested, then I will keep to myself.

    Is this an Fe thing? I mean, are Fi users (either dom, aux, or tert, since even T types can have developed Feeling functions) likely to do this, too? Or are they more the type to keep their emotions (not the same as feelings) to themselves even around familiar people?

    For example: If I suffer some acute pain, like stubbing my toe-- If there's someone around to hear, I will probably make some sort of noise to alert them (I don't really think about this before I do it, I just do it automatically); but if I'm all alone in the house, I will stay silent and just wince and bear it, because there's no point in making any noise just to alert myself, because I already know I've hurt myself.

    I'm just wondering about this. Because there's been a lot of discussion on how it's a fallacy to think that emotion=xxFx and non-emotion=xxTx. But could it possibly be more accurate to say that emotion=Fe and non-emotion=Fi? Ergo, an xxTx with Fe as a function might appear to be more emotional at times than an xxFx with Fi...?



  2. #2
    INTP - The Thinkers

    If I stub my toe, I will swear loudly whether I'm alone or not (well, except if my grandma is there).
    Do you laugh at things when you're alone? I ask because I saw a group on Facebook that was something along the lines of 'like this if you still laugh out loud when you're watching TV by yourself'. I didn't really understand why that group would even exist. If something is funny, I will laugh. It's physically difficult not to.

  3. #3
    INFJ - The Protectors

    Quote Originally Posted by Van View Post
    Do you laugh at things when you're alone?
    No. I just smile, and I might chuckle a little...

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  5. #4
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Van View Post
    If I stub my toe, I will swear loudly whether I'm alone or not (well, except if my grandma is there).
    Do you laugh at things when you're alone? I ask because I saw a group on Facebook that was something along the lines of 'like this if you still laugh out loud when you're watching TV by yourself'. I didn't really understand why that group would even exist. If something is funny, I will laugh. It's physically difficult not to.
    I'm actually more likely to laugh when alone than with others. I'm not sure why really...
    OrangeAppled and Dichotomy thanked this post.

  6. #5
    INFJ - The Protectors


    I am more likely to experience emotions when I am interacting with real people, or pets, nature, etc. some living things.
    When I am alone or interacting over internet then I don't feel as much.
    This is how I know that I use Fe not Fi.
    Fe also makes me feel all warm inside when I am part of a group of people. There is this sense of unity and belonging. If you ever see people express their feeling how they love everyone when they get drunk, yeah that's me only I don't have to drink for it to happen. It just a natural feeling I get when I am with others.

    I am not expressive with my emotions mostly because I don't want to burden others with them. When somebody is venting it charges other people around with negative emotion. Why would I want to do that? May be very close friends will hear. If I had a bad day at work I will most likely just internally digest it. Physical ailments is same, without necessity I will not tell people that I am sick or have pain somewhere. If I just hit my toe and am in pain, in that very moment yes I will grimace and emote and yell out and express my pain to those around me. But then who wouldn't do this? Pain is a very basic feeling that reconnects us to the moment to the now and to how we feel.
    OrangeAppled, Heather, saturnbug and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Van View Post
    I ask because I saw a group on Facebook that was something along the lines of 'like this if you still laugh out loud when you're watching TV by yourself'. I didn't really understand why that group would even exist.
    I don't understand why most FB groups exist. They get more pointless by the day. "Like this if you like to put on a sweater when you're cold" Really riveting stuff there....

    To the OP, I laugh when amused, I yell when injured etc. It's all the same to me whether someone is in my presence or not. It's more instincts and reflex rather than trying to communicate something to others, at least for me it would seem.
    saturnbug and Indigo Aria thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Oh, I laugh when I see something funny, I don't care if others are there or not, if i think it's funny enough i will burst out laughing which usually makes me laugh more at the ridiculousness of me laughing by myself. However i love group atmospheres and laughing with tons of people /telling jokes (i'm a pretty social person.) Both Fi and Fe can have fun in groups. But when I am laughing the hardest it's usually because I find some personal take or irony in the whatever i'm observing or thinking about that is hard to explain and is just funny to me. I will then try to share my insight with others.

    I will pretty freely express my emotions when around others, i don't think Fi users have an absence of desire to share and connect through feelings. However there different moods; sometimes I enjoy a light feel to my emotions and at other times i crave a deeper, more meaningful level, almost so i can reconnect with myself. Most of the time listening to music can do this to me, and it's something I seek out to find some peace of mind or when the mood strikes me.

    From personal experience with my sister (enfj) I can say that Fi and Fe can often get along very well and enjoy many of the same things/be similar in wanting to share and connect. However when diving into the essence the functions, Fi results in a very deep-felt personal equilibrium, it can be joy, despair, even ambition/pure energy. Whereas from what I observe Fe gets more bleeding heart only in the presence of others, of people who are very special / having meaning in the user's life. It's almost as if Fi thrives in the absence of others (being lost in the flow of music) or from one other person (on something approaching the idea of soul mate or lover) while Fe benefits from the interaction with many people and feeling a sense of belonging.

    i'm realize I'm wildly speculating a bit here with the Fe analysis, so no offense intended if i'm off the mark.
    Dichotomy and vel thanked this post.

  9. #8
    INFJ - The Protectors


    Quote Originally Posted by lyk0s View Post
    .... It's almost as if Fi thrives in the absence of others (being lost in the flow of music) or from one other person (on something approaching the idea of soul mate or lover) while Fe benefits from the interaction with many people and feeling a sense of belonging.

    i'm realize I'm wildly speculating a bit here with the Fe analysis, so no offense intended if i'm off the mark.
    Sounds about right :)
    Though I am an introvert my Fe is often what forces me to come out of my shell and interact with other people.
    Can you describe how does Fi exactly reinforce bonding with others? Fi types seem to be people oriented too, though in different manner than Fe types, so there seems to be some different mechanism for this.

  10. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Using Fi to interact with others many times comes down to trying to use it to uniquely understand them, especially when combined with Ne. Fi recognizes the subjectivity of each person with regard to feelings, personal beliefs and preferences. You want to try to gain their unique perspective on an issue or a problem they are having by listening and empathizing with them (of course this is easier if you know the person better/longer, but one with developed Fi could certainly empathize with a complete stranger pretty easily in a matter of minutes if given enough input into their subjective state.)

    If a friend is upset about something that happened during the day, I may probe them for more information until i understand the sequence of events, or if i already have an idea of where things stand. Fi hates to see people suffering, and will usually offer some of its own subjective feelings or experiences to draw out more information from the other to better understand them/ the situation; by gaining a fuller understanding, it becomes easier to see possibilities to resolve conflict or restore harmony in the other/relationship. This is where Ne can make such a great contribution. Ne by itself is an idea generator, but when focused by the intense lens of the knowledge of the situation collected by Fi, it can be an extremely powerful force to very quickly find fixes to the problem, and the more Fi understands another, the quicker/more powerful these results may be.

    This is why enfps are known as incredible problem solvers, even when faced with a novel situation and what may seem like relatively few options. This can apply to almost anything the enfp has knowledge of (eg. construction projects, cooking with few ingredients, solving physics problems, creating music) And if the enfp doesn't have knowledge of a situation (especially if people related) Fi is available to understand and gather more information. Many times Fi doesn't need to probe for information, it understands things just by interacting with others/experience.

    Of course not every enfp is like this all the time, and unfortunately I often run into enfps on my campus (i can tell pretty quickly if someone is an enfp, there's that 'connection' you can get when talking to one) who can be complete spazes and I used to be that way too when younger. It's the excitingness of the millions of possibles/cleverness that make you feel unstoppable! But once Fi is better understood, if utilized to 'focus the bright lens' of Ne (which in this analogy is solar powered) an enfp is capable of accomplishing great things
    Dichotomy, clear moon, alice35 and 1 others thanked this post.

  11. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by lyk0s View Post
    Using Fi to interact with others many times comes down to trying to use it to uniquely understand them, especially when combined with Ne. Fi recognizes the subjectivity of each person with regard to feelings, personal beliefs and preferences. You want to try to gain their unique perspective on an issue or a problem they are having by listening and empathizing with them (of course this is easier if you know the person better/longer, but one with developed Fi could certainly empathize with a complete stranger pretty easily in a matter of minutes if given enough input into their subjective state.)

    If a friend is upset about something that happened during the day, I may probe them for more information until i understand the sequence of events, or if i already have an idea of where things stand. Fi hates to see people suffering, and will usually offer some of its own subjective feelings or experiences to draw out more information from the other to better understand them/ the situation; by gaining a fuller understanding, it becomes easier to see possibilities to resolve conflict or restore harmony in the other/relationship. This is where Ne can make such a great contribution. Ne by itself is an idea generator, but when focused by the intense lens of the knowledge of the situation collected by Fi, it can be an extremely powerful force to very quickly find fixes to the problem, and the more Fi understands another, the quicker/more powerful these results may be.

    This is why enfps are known as incredible problem solvers, even when faced with a novel situation and what may seem like relatively few options. This can apply to almost anything the enfp has knowledge of (eg. construction projects, cooking with few ingredients, solving physics problems, creating music) And if the enfp doesn't have knowledge of a situation (especially if people related) Fi is available to understand and gather more information. Many times Fi doesn't need to probe for information, it understands things just by interacting with others/experience.

    Of course not every enfp is like this all the time, and unfortunately I often run into enfps on my campus (i can tell pretty quickly if someone is an enfp, there's that 'connection' you can get when talking to one) who can be complete spazes and I used to be that way too when younger. It's the excitingness of the millions of possibles/cleverness that make you feel unstoppable! But once Fi is better understood, if utilized to 'focus the bright lens' of Ne (which in this analogy is solar powered) an enfp is capable of accomplishing great things
    Wow. This is perfect and extremely well-written. Thank you.

    In regards to the OP, I don't like experiencing or expressing negative emotions in front of others. If I do, it is extremely rare. I usually put them on "hold" until I can be alone or go for a run. My best friend who is Fe dom (ENFJ), has told me that she notices I am very "analytical" about my emotions. She says it's as if I'm "disconnected" from them. I explained to her that often I use Ne or even Te to explain things to her. When I am related stories to a person, I'm remaining detached and looking at things objectively.

    Practically most of my best friends are ENFJs. I've notice they all tend to tell me that I need "a hug" or to go to someone when I'm down. The encourage an outside action. When they are down, I tend to talk with them so that they can redirect focus back onto themselves while guiding them to think of things a different way so that they are able to feel better. They all seem to really love it. So in other words, I feel like my Fe dom friends encourage me to go "outward" for support and to feel better and I encourage them to go inward and look within in themselves.

    All that being said, it is not uncommon for me to cry for a person as I am feeling their pain. When an individual is expressing their story to me, I can go throughout a whole gamut of emotions. And it's very visible too. Sometimes I carry it with me too and am incredibly upset by it as if I were the person experiencing it.
    lyk0s thanked this post.


     
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