Hi everyone :)
This amazing ENFJ is the facilitator of a personal development type class I'm taking. (MBTI is part of the class so I actually got confirmation he is an ENFJ!) I hardly know the guy of course, but intuitively I just felt like...it's so hard to put into words even! The first time our eyes met...I was left wondering what the frilly heck just happened?! This was before he even spoke! Not in a romantic starry eyed way, but I just felt some kind of connection in a way I have not experienced before. (Ive had plenty of crushes and relationships)
It even seems at times we can communicate so much to each other through our eyes (while he is talking at the front to the group)...it almost feels weirdly telepathic at times. (one time he said something like "don't forget people can't read your mind"...but then he paused and said in a quieter tone '"or who knows, maybe they can ha" and kind of half glanced in my direction with a shy smile (maybe I imagined it being directed at me...but it seemed sort of out context to add that in otherwise :P)
So it has been just over a week since the class started...he really has this way of drawing me out and making me feel less self-conscious. I am even spontaneously laughing any time I find something funny and am one of the most talkative in the group even though I'm usually silent unless directly asked a question. This is so weird for me. I like this new version, but it's weird haha It's so great being around him!
And even though I'm happily single right now (not looking in the least)....I found myself secretly wishing and hoping that he is single so there might be an opportunity to get to know him better once the class is over (in 4 weeks) and see what happens because so far we seem to be so naturally in-tune and "get" each other...I think the ENFJ-INFP do seem to compliment each other so well...now I know what I've been missing out on all this time! :P
Problem is...he's not single. :(
He mentioned his girlfriend very casually a few times during anecdotes or whatever (they live together and have a dog is all I know)
BUT before I say anything else, I want to be clear that I'm not looking for advice on how to steal him from his girlfriend or how to get him to like me. If someone is taken, they are off-limits in my mind and I've always been able to just accept that we aren't meant to be obviously and let it go. Well...except this time? Please don't judge...but I'm sort of now secretly hoping that maybe his girlfriend and him have been having problems for a long time and are on the verge of breaking it off. I can't help it. ;)
Here's the thing...I've been reading about ENFJ and how they are friendly and attentive to everyone naturally which can come across as romantic interest even when not intended. So I was fine with that, thinking that's probably all that's going on here...but there are just a few examples that leave me wondering...and I'd feel better if you can give your best guess on if you feel this could be feelings developing on his part or just him being exceptionally good at what he does (making people feel good about themselves) and I'm looking a little too hard for comfirmation...lol
-When he is talking in front of the group, I noticed that he is looking at me a lot of the time ( he looks around the room but then his eyes seem to come back to me anytime he pauses) and we often lock eyes and exchange smiles (could be just that I am so smiley and receptive when it comes to him? lol I dunno:)
-When he is not up front teaching and we are near each other he becomes a lot more shy, he'll smile at me but it's more of a goofy grin and he can't seem to make direct eye contact while talking and seems to fumble over his words but is not that way with the others in the group. One time he was standing around talking to a couple others in the group so I walked over to join in the conversation and he got really quiet
-when he is sitting next to me during group activities, I "feel"something...I dunno what...he doesn't talk to me, but I feel some vibe from him that he is interested. Maybe it's all in my head gah.
-he seems to be tailoring his personal examples around things he knows interest me. Ie)the day after he found out I have kids and mentioned running late for art class, he mentioned on the weekend how he talked to his 7 year old nephew on the phone and was going on about their conversation and then later mentioned he had been to see his friend's art exhibit over the weekend as well. (this is just 1 example of how he seems to do this because and I don't notice him doing it with others)
-see him looking at me often through my peripheral vision when we're working independently (I think but I am so prone to blushing, I'm too afraid to try to catch him to confirm lol) But maybe this doesn't mean anything either? maybe he's just observing me?
Sorry for the ramble...I guess what I really want to know is do you think this could be interest and if it is do you think that means he feels the way I do which means his relationship must be going badly because he seems like the type that would be fiercly loyal? This is ideal scenario for me and I'm plenty patient...I am not saying I want to date him anytime soon...just that the potential is there. But if he is in a happy relationship and/or is not interested I want to be able to just let this go. And I think I can once I know.
Is there something I can say or do that is appropriate in this scenario (classroom) to get clearer confirmation one way or the other so I can stop this thinking and analyzing everything?