Hi ENFJs, INTJ here and I need help.
I am a 30yo female in a relationship with a 25yo ENFJ female. We have been dating for over a year, planning to get married in 8 months, and everything has been great so far until now.
About a month ago, I was feeling down, and when that happens I shut down. I didn't communicate my feelings to her, and when I did it was by text and in a very poor and unfair way.
Now she has told me that she loves me but that she's thinking about leaving the relationship.
Leaving this past month aside, she's told me that she doesn't feel needed and that I never talk to her about what's going on with me, that she needs to feel that she's the person I go to with my problems. As an example, she was mentioning that everyday when she asks how was my day or how was work, my answer is just "it was okay". From what she said I understand that she needs me to tell her things in more detail, what happened to me and what frustrated me and why, etc. The thing is I don't need to talk about things like that. When I leave work I just want to forget about it and be home and spend time with her without having to talk about what bothers me on situations that are completely unrelated to her. I just want to enjoy her company.
I know I have a problem when it comes to talk about my feelings and I have issues with showing myself vulnerable around others. I have told her that, and I have made an appointment with a therapist because improving myself that way will improve my life and our relationship. She was upset, because she said that for this she should also be the person I go to, and not a therapist.
It blew my mind when she said that she doesn't feel needed. Because I do need her. My life has improved very significantly since I met her, and she's my fucking everything. I'm frustrated for not being able to show her that. I've told her but she says that the problem is that she doesn't feel it. I ask her what I can do so that she feels it, but she doesn't know.
What do I do to make her feel it?