[ENFJ] What ENFJ stereotype do you not fit? What stereotype do you fit well?

What ENFJ stereotype do you not fit? What stereotype do you fit well?

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This is a discussion on What ENFJ stereotype do you not fit? What stereotype do you fit well? within the ENFJ Forum - The Givers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I don't know if it's true for most other ENFJs. I'm not all that organized, and that bit had me ...

  1. #1

    What ENFJ stereotype do you not fit? What stereotype do you fit well?

    I don't know if it's true for most other ENFJs. I'm not all that organized, and that bit had me write off myself as some other type. I thought I was an ENFP for a bit just because of the way ENFJs are painted. They seemed almost mystical in some aspects, and I didn't feel mystical. That last bit is on me though for idolizing certain types of people. Apparently, ENFJs don't like dealing with reasoning, but I like problem solving in general. I think that can be said about a lot of ENFJs. I do technical work, and I know other ENFJs in the same type of field.

    I do have a heavy hankering for social interactions. It's like a gnawing in the back of my mind sometimes, but I do spend a decent amount of time by myself. I also like being in charge of ironing out the details and being a leader. It's like a peace of mind knowing that things things won't spiral out of control.

    What about you guys?
    cuddlyone thanked this post.

  2. #2

    "It's like a peace of mind knowing that things things won't spiral out of control."

    I am an unintentionally meticulous organiser. I like my stuff in the right places and I have a tendency to see patterns evolve infront of me. It might look messy but I know where everything is ;) You should see my spice shelf, it is arranged by color, name and usage.
    I actually feel very uncomfortable if a situation turns to unorganised. I like to be spontaneous, but I have already thought of the pros and cons in my head before I realise it...

    I agree with the problem solving, it is fun to untangle tangles. It also gets us noticed...

    One bit than I am insecure about is how fast I can travel on an emotional roller coaster. I can go from being super happy to really low in the blink of a second. It can be something someone said or didn't say, a look someone gave me or didn't give me. It takes a lot to make me angry, but I get hurt so easily.

    I do like social interactions, but I also like being alone. I can feel like I put on a different person while surrounded by others, and it is draining to do for long periods of time so I enjoy recharging by myself. Where I can do exactly what I want, when I want and ot focus on someone else before me. Even in a relationship I need my alone time. Wether that be a long bath,a game or a series my partner is not interested in watching/playing with me. I like to escape into other worlds.

    Do you ever escape to other worlds though books/films/games/drugs?

  3. #3

    Most, as in 99% of stereotypes and misconceptions stem from lack of understanding of functions, which are the underlying theories that MBTI enthusiasts play with.

    For example... "J" and "P" qualities/stereotypes.

    Here are some examples of J Types and their respective functions:





    Now if you go ask most people who like to talk about the difference between J and P Types, they won't be able to explain to you why an ENFJ and ESTJ share that "J", what it even means, and why they have a letter in common with each other while their functions are of opposite polarity, and also rearranged entirely.

    I can guarantee that most people do not fit the stereotypes of their respective types. I'll get off my soapbox, but if it helps, a few others and I had a video discussion that touched on stereotypes.
    Ethanol thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    It was more for discussion purposes and seeing the different types of people within a single type, but I wouldn't say no to see you guys in action!
    I do so less now that I'm a little more comfortable in my skin, but I used to a whole lot. It would depend on the situation or mood, but basically what you listed. I would fall into a tv show sometimes and watch until I got too tired to keep going. At some point, I would have to move around and find something else to do. I did a bunch of drugs in high school and up to now being in college. I'd have a weird "addiction" where I wouldn't go through withdrawals when I ran out, but when I had an abundance of it, I would be on whatever I had as much as I can.
    Eggsies thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Your behavior is similar to mine.

  7. #6

    I guess the stereotype that I don't fit at all would be how I react to romantic relationships. I've been told that ENFJs are committed and have a high value on their romantic relationships. I don't have an adversity to them in general; I'll support my friends and others with their own relationships, but on a personal level I feel held back by them.

    I'm honestly a bit of a fuckboy.

    In fact, if say the stereotype I embody most is how flirtatious I am to everyone, including people im not attracted to.

    I'd also say I don't follow that 'irrational' stereotype. I have a strong T function, yadda yadda

    I would say I'm well organized though and a lot of my friends look to me for support when they're disgruntled.
    Scarlet.Black thanked this post.

  8. #7

    I don't fit into the "Loves to help everybody always" and "likes to make other people's wishes come true" stereotype. I'm not sure how popular those are but I've heard them here and there. I love helping the people I love, especially if they need emotional support, but other than that I don't really care about strangers. For example if there's an old man trying to get off the bus and having issues, I will admit I have an urge to get up and help him, but I never actually do. It might be a fear of strangers, but on the other hand whenever someone approaches me on the street I'm always eager to listen (at least until I figure out if they're boring me or not). So I just don't feel like I'm a dude who's looking to help others all the time.

    Also, I completely embody the "Thinking with your emotions" stereotype. My feelings dominate my behavior and my decision making, not that I'm complaining though, I'm okay with that. But I also suck at critical thinking, Ti is definitely my weakest spot, it only kicks in when I'm under stress or really sad, and it usually just makes me feel bad about myself because I start looking at things from an objective point of you (at least as objective as possible considering my Fe).
    That doesn't mean I'm dumb though, just that I prefer going with my heart instead of my mind.
    Last edited by Meter90; 04-08-2016 at 08:05 AM.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Kalix View Post
    I'm honestly a bit of a fuckboy.
    At least you're honest
    Kalix thanked this post.

  10. #9

    I think I found my home. This all makes sense.

  11. #10

    I'm naive to a fault.
    I like to plan & keep things organized (to the point of near OCD levels).
    I'm too idealistic (to the point of living in the clouds).
    I'm too sensitive (I'm an empath & to other types I come off as overly sentimental/emotional/crybaby).
    I'm like a cheerleader with my loved ones & friends (love to give them encouragement!)
    I love to surprise people and make them happy.
    I will go to great lengths to help others.

    I DON'T like being a leader - some times people pick me anyway, and I'm thinking to myself "Damnit!!!"
    I DON'T like to micro-manage other people or even manage people in general.
    I'm NOT that much of an extrovert (I'm quite shy for an E, my E % is under 15%).
    I don't see myself as charismatic, but more of a silly person who flails their arms.
    I DON'T have all the answers (I can be just as WTF-ish or clueless as other types).
    I actually strongly value my alone time (I NEEEEED some alone time or I will cut someone!)
    I'm not exactly the life of the party or super popular - I only have a handful of "close" friends, & prefer more intimate friendships.

    I wonder some times if the stereotypes apply more to people based on genders or gender roles? *shrugs*
    water_girl thanked this post.

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