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ENFJ Males: Wanting to get to know what you're all about - ESFP Female

2K views 5 replies 6 participants last post by  IAmOrangeToday 
#1 ·
I've found so many ENTJ types in my life, so weirdly we hit it off but I notice that some of the biggest barrier between our types is the extraordinary difference between the T and my F. I'd love to know what interaction is like with an ENFJ though there are little to none around me
I feel like you guys are the type to take one under your wing and encourage them prosper
This is simply from the articles associated with your types
I would love to know what you're all about, do you guys open up and like to share?
 
#2 ·
Well, you can pretty much just lurk around the forum and see how we interact with one another.

As for "taking people under our wing", it really depends on the relationship. If I was with a more INFP or ISFP girl, maybe.

However, with another more dominant or self-assured type, less so like - ENTJ, ENFJ, INFJ, ESFJ, etc.

Then there are types you know this just wouldn't fly with and I don't even bother like - ENTP, ENFP, ESFP (sorry, you guys lack that discipline that encourages "apprenticeship" so to speak).

But in a greater sense of things, I believe we're one of the most adaptable types around who can make suitable partners to multiple types and "taking someone under our wing" is just one of those expressions.

With an ESFJ partner, it could be a power couple relationship where we trust each other and we're working together strongly, pushing ourselves and doing big things like building churches, starting businesses, organising massive events.

Or with ESFPs, where we just forgo the greater sense of responsibility, and live for the next adventure. No judgment, let's just be stupid and have loads of fun together and fuck a shit ton. Living life to the fullest kinda thing.

Again, we're adaptable and we just enjoy making our partners happy, be it in whatever form it might take.
 
#3 · (Edited)
Hey there!

So my coworker is an ESFP who just cracks me up. He's sort of taken a self-nominated "class clown" persona, but he makes me laugh more than anybody else I know. Before I knew about mbti I used to not understand his way about life. Very live in the moment, make fun with what you have in front of you sort of lifestyle (takes nothing too seriously). Early on he used to sort of pick on me alot, but it wasn't till recently that I realized he was only firing back because I offended him without even knowing it. This possibly has to do with my overconfident and sometimes pretentious tone when i'm speaking. I swear I'm not trying to offend anyone. As of now, we get along great. I sort of feed off of his amazing sense of humor which sort of helps us "click". He's also helped me get WAY more in touch with my extraverted sensing function. He helps me see whats going on in the real world, when sometimes my head is up in the clouds.

I tend to talk a lot about my achievements/ventures with people because that's what makes up who i am (what I dedicate my life to). With my esfp friend, I learned that this is a BIG NO NO. He doesn't give a shit, and he shouldn't have to. It sounds pretentious on my part. He's taught me to let go of things and not take everything so seriously. Us ENFJs have a natural "image" maintaining tendency. This isn't something we have much control over, as it's in our nature.

More than any other type, I feel like ESFPs hold strengths that are the very weaknesses of ENFJs, and vice versa.

My question is this: I've frequently read that NFJs are very aware of their surroundings, ie "situational awareness". I've also heard that ESFPs don't posess this quality. BUT I THINK ITS BACKWARDS. I feel like ESFPs have better situational awareness than most any of us, where NFJs can have an obvlivious nature to them. Any thoughts?

PS. welcome to the forum
 
#4 ·
My co-worker is ESFP also. He's very, very diligent though, but definitely gets bored easily. And sometimes just emotionally flies off the handle due to personal issues. I have noticed that working with him I've taken on a kind of a mentor role naturally, although I'm not sure he really likes it or not. I can never tell. I do know that I think he is very capable (he's a web developer) and really enjoy collaborating with him. I also just really like him as a person.

Still, I'm never really sure how he feels about me as a person/how he feels about my behavior toward him, which makes me feel kind of weird.
 
#5 · (Edited)
Note: I'm talking in plural, but what I really mean is "me - generalized to most ENFJs, I would assume".

ENFJs are all about giving. As the title says, we're "The Givers". We like to make others not just happy, but fulfilled. We make good partners, coworkers, bosses (more often than not), friends, husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, parents, the list goes on... But as a general rule, we're people people.

ENFJs see the world as a big, complex set of mechanisms and emotions. ENFJs want people to be the best versions of themselves that they can be, whether that means being true to themselves, achieving what they set out to accomplish, maintaining what there is, or just being happy in the moment.

ENFJs do their dues. We're responsible, often times confident, trustworthy, and we can get shit done when we need to. However, we're not our own focus. We are driven by our desire to help others, which sometimes means we're driven specifically by other people's emotions instead of our own.

ENFJs are sensitive. We get hurt, we cry sometimes, we can break down, we can feel like shit, we can rebel, we can shout, we can break things, we can criticize, but in the end, we calm down and get back on track.

ENFJs are about doing good. Not well, but good, sometimes at the cost of doing well. We can give too much of ourselves, spreading too thin and forgetting where we stand on the matter. We need someone to keep us in check from time to time, someone to give us a good wake up slap and say "YOU MATTER TOO, DAMN IT!".

ENFJs might sound like a bunch of superheroes, but we're not. We just happen to like being good people, especially when it comes to satisfying others. In fact, I think it's pretty selfish. A part of why ENFJs do what they do, is because if we didn't, we would feel like we have no meaning, like we're not doing anything with our lives and we don't matter to the world.
Just like the man says, "We're not on our journey to save the world but to save ourselves. But in doing that you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes." - Joseph Campbell.
 
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#6 ·
In terms of what I'm all about, my main trains of thought are usually to do with observations about the people around me and how they feel, or trying to work out how I am appearing, how I am being perceived and how I should be acting right now. The next most common thing after that is delving into some concept or logic.

If you meant your question more as what I do, I love being part of the gang, being in sports teams, baking for my friends - ENFJs crave social situations, but in a facilitator role rather than as a leader or central character.
 
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