[ENFP] ENFP in grip of their Shadow Functions (a negative form of ISTJ)- examples?

ENFP in grip of their Shadow Functions (a negative form of ISTJ)- examples?

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This is a discussion on ENFP in grip of their Shadow Functions (a negative form of ISTJ)- examples? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; There are a few threads on Shadow Functions, but none that quite wet my whistle on this topic! So I ...

  1. #1

    ENFP in grip of their Shadow Functions (a negative form of ISTJ)- examples?

    There are a few threads on Shadow Functions, but none that quite wet my whistle on this topic! So I decided to create one in hopes of some feedback and reflection here.

    Bolded below was taken from an online team technology site focusing on MBTI. (I didn't write it.)

    Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the ENFP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ISTJ. Example characteristics are:

    • being pedantic about unimportant details
    • doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
    • being critical of others, and finding fault with almost everything
    • taking charge without consideration to others

    The shadow is part of the unconscious that is often visible to others, onto whom the shadow is projected. The ENFP may therefore readily see these faults in others without recognizing it in him/her self.

    Can anyone relate to being so stressed and in the grip of ISTJ shadow? And provide some examples that hopefully other ENFPs can relate to?

    My example. I do recall times in my life being under extreme stress and could relate to the bullets above (I'm sure there are more "bullets" describing this state of being.) But I can recall not being my nice self - hard on people getting in my way, being overly firm in my communication / ruthless / unbendable, hyper-sensitive to details about my person (hypochondriac or "anal" about my weight or other physical attributes,) hyper-sensitive to my surroundings or a situation, being very detail oriented (suddenly!) and even escaping into an unhealthy binge of some sort. (The latter mostly when I was younger.)




  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Brave thread, we don't like critiquing ourselves!

    I know when I'm stressed, and potentially because of my 9-ish Enneagram type too, I run off into shut-down, excess land. I will veg out, sometimes for days, eat vast amounts of junk food and Facebook the world to death, or just Youtube zombiefi... zone out. I reckon you could describe over-inter-netting as an excess too, or RPG video games, that's my other weakness :)

    I also know that if I'm worn out and stressed, and someone contradicts me (or simply sometimes asks a question while I'm in full flow), I will snap back at them and be extremely stubborn and dismissive in my dealings. I won't notice at the time, it takes someone I look up to to pull me aside and show me what I have done at which point I become very apologetic, probably overly so.
    I didn't mean to be unkind, I am just in a zone and feeling things have to be done in a certain way and lose my natural abilities of flexible spontaneousness-ness, interest and friendliness. If the person I have been unkind to knows me well they are doubly hurt as they know I'm not like that most of the time, so you get a double-whammy - hurt at the situation itself, plus double hurt of failing in their expectations. That really sucks.


    I know that tiredness is one of the biggest issues for me... I run about like a looney most of the time, trying to cram a billion things in, a billion people in, then I crash... and all of us lose our amazing MBTI super awesome powers when our batteries are low. It's recognising the need to recharge that can sometimes floor us.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Ooohhh yeah - and isn't it a fun place to be; that murky, anxious place where my mind goes in ever smaller circles around the same details, furiously trying to make sense of it all, then realising it isn't working. Obsessing over what has to be done now and only like this or else my husband would get his head bitten off.

    Sleep deprivation, and breast feeding a new born suffering colic and who would not sleep, so only getting a couple of hours or two of sleep a day for months. It took me a year or more to regain my equibilirium. In fact, motherhood provides oh-so-many opportunities to get in touch with the "dark side" -lol.

    Concrete example: being desperate for my baby to sleep,and not thinking very clearly, I became obsessed with how to put him down to sleep; my husband couldn't do it "right" and it had to be done my way. Of course, when it didn't work (baby woke up and cried) the problem was that it wasn't done right. I couldn't see other options nor even admit that there was other ways of doing it. I got very angry and frustrated; I constantly snapped at my husband.

    Yet all that motherhood "joy" has meant that I have had to face it - look at myself unswervingly when I have been in those dark and nasty places. To confront my behaviour, to learn better ways of dealing with stress and insomnia.

    It wasn't fun, and it's still a work in progress, but I've discovered one of Mark Twains' quotes:
    If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
    Mark Twain


    Read more atMark Twain Quotes Page 5 - BrainyQuote Mobile
    Last edited by BooMonster; 08-07-2012 at 06:33 AM.
    Belovodia, Guajiro, TheWildOne and 1 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Nevermind_me View Post
    Brave thread, we don't like critiquing ourselves!

    I know when I'm stressed, and potentially because of my 9-ish Enneagram type too, I run off into shut-down, excess land. I will veg out, sometimes for days, eat vast amounts of junk food and Facebook the world to death, or just Youtube zombiefi... zone out. I reckon you could describe over-inter-netting as an excess too, or RPG video games, that's my other weakness :)

    I also know that if I'm worn out and stressed, and someone contradicts me (or simply sometimes asks a question while I'm in full flow), I will snap back at them and be extremely stubborn and dismissive in my dealings. I won't notice at the time, it takes someone I look up to to pull me aside and show me what I have done at which point I become very apologetic, probably overly so.
    I didn't mean to be unkind, I am just in a zone and feeling things have to be done in a certain way and lose my natural abilities of flexible spontaneousness-ness, interest and friendliness. If the person I have been unkind to knows me well they are doubly hurt as they know I'm not like that most of the time, so you get a double-whammy - hurt at the situation itself, plus double hurt of failing in their expectations. That really sucks.


    I know that tiredness is one of the biggest issues for me... I run about like a looney most of the time, trying to cram a billion things in, a billion people in, then I crash... and all of us lose our amazing MBTI super awesome powers when our batteries are low. It's recognising the need to recharge that can sometimes floor us.

    I am going to have to follow your posts more. Today, I have read 2 posts by you that I more than relate to. I feel like I could have written them myself, had I taken the time to write my feelings and thoughts into my post patiently. Sometimes I don't put as much effort into writing them out as I should and, quite honestly, I've ony ever written to reflect on myself when doing so for and by myself.

    This post could be me. In my early 20's I had many of the issues described above for long periods of time. I still go through these bouts sometimes but snap myself out of them pretty quickly as I hate being an example of what I am typically so against. I also become over apologetic, by other's standards, because, to me, the word sorry by itself does nt do an apology justice when I've acted in a manner I am typically so opposed to.

    Anyway, you may have a friend request coming. Hope you don't mind, but, I get a lot out of what you have to say and am still discovery mode on here.

    To the original poster, I'd add more to what was written in regards to the purpose of this thread but it would be redundant as it has already been summed up very well for what I would have to say regarding it. Still, maybe later I will add examples from my life to better display this.

    Great thread, btw.
    BooMonster, Nevermind_me, 7even and 1 others thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Thank you JaySH. I am glad the way I write strikes such a resonance in you, I guess that's why I love MBTI, it is extremely affirming to know that other people share your wiring, as much as it is amazing to realise just how different other types can be.

    I will have to go read your posts and see if I think I would have written them!
    JaySH thanked this post.

  7. #6

    I have to say, this MBTI stuff is a great relief as the explanations of shadow- though still confusing- offer a glimmer of hope that we are not completely wack when we are stressed out.



    Okay- another memory comes to mind. When "P" turns to unhealthy "J" and your ENFP self is so very stressed, you are in your car in total stress mode determined to get somewhere on time else the sky will fall. (When do we ever really care about this?) and you get pulled over and get a ticket. I have gotten speeding tickets before in full Si choke-hold!
    JaySH thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Hmm, my grip was pretty alarming to everyone around me because it caused a complete personality change in me! I withdrew from everyone and everything.

    I was the girl who went to everything I was invited to, even if that meant making quick appearances to 3 different places in one day. I went from that to not leaving my house ever. I didn't answer my phone, texts, and my mailbox remained full so no new messages could be left. I was obsessed over details and facts in areas I never was, and my empathy in general plummeted. I honestly didn't care about much of anything really. I was negative and I couldn't see the possiblities in anything...if I did, they were negative.

    I also didn't take care of myself. I stayed up until 3-4am and got up at 7am, I ate junk food, stopped exercising, stopped getting dressed, stopped cleaning, wearing makeup, doing my hair, etc. I could barely get off the couch. It sounds like depression, which I believe it was...however, I personally believe my depression was an Si grip. As soon as I started learning about MBTI, functions, and Enneagram, I began to pull out of it. Also, a daily vitamin low in copper (0.5mg), extra magnesium, zinc, vitamin D, and vitamin A have made a world of a difference for me as well.

    I also followed the advice of the inferior function article and "treated my Si positively" which meant sleep, exercise (had to force myself), good food and drink, sunshine, laughter, painting, drawing, etc. When I began to remind my body and mind that Si can be good to me, I started to leave the hopeless grip and began to embrace my Si as something I can see and am aware of.
    Flowerpot92, Laguna, Flowerpot92 and 23 others thanked this post.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Enfpleasantly View Post
    Hmm, my grip was pretty alarming to everyone around me because it caused a complete personality change in me! I withdrew from everyone and everything.

    I was the girl who went to everything I was invited to, even if that meant making quick appearances to 3 different places in one day. I went from that to not leaving my house ever. I didn't answer my phone, texts, and my mailbox remained full so no new messages could be left. I was obsessed over details and facts in areas I never was, and my empathy in general plummeted. I honestly didn't care about much of anything really. I was negative and I couldn't see the possiblities in anything...if I did, they were negative.

    I also didn't take care of myself. I stayed up until 3-4am and got up at 7am, I ate junk food, stopped exercising, stopped getting dressed, stopped cleaning, wearing makeup, doing my hair, etc. I could barely get off the couch. It sounds like depression, which I believe it was...however, I personally believe my depression was an Si grip. As soon as I started learning about MBTI, functions, and Enneagram, I began to pull out of it. Also, a daily vitamin low in copper (0.5mg), extra magnesium, zinc, vitamin D, and vitamin A have made a world of a difference for me as well.

    I also followed the advice of the inferior function article and "treated my Si positively" which meant sleep, exercise (had to force myself), good food and drink, sunshine, laughter, painting, drawing, etc. When I began to remind my body and mind that Si can be good to me, I started to leave the hopeless grip and began to embrace my Si as something I can see and am aware of.
    Wow! First off, HUGS MsPleasantly as I miss you so much!!! Where have ya been?? I've had to hold down the fort in ENTJ-ville and let me tell ya, that's no easy task.

    Second, (and if too personal, certainly tell me to shut up) but was this perhaps post-partem depression? Or perhaps it was just a situational anxiety / depression. (I went through a bad anxiety mode / panic attack mode due to stress. Full-blown I had just WAY WAY WAY too much on my plate type stress and then I toppled over like a game of Jinga. I can almost call it my nervous breakdown- what else would you call it when you can't catch your breath for like an entire month??) And yes- I was in that Si grip pretty severely. I am recovered now. AND AWARE!!

    But what you said about embracing it (and I have done similar things to center myself ... which needs to be on-going) is such a great way to look at it and to put it. Thanks!! Here's to both of us emerging stronger than ever after seeing both sides of ourselves.

    And here ... I had a caricature done of us both.

    Enfpleasantly thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Laguna View Post
    Wow! First off, HUGS MsPleasantly as I miss you so much!!! Where have ya been?? I've had to hold down the fort in ENTJ-ville and let me tell ya, that's no easy task.

    Second, (and if too personal, certainly tell me to shut up) but was this perhaps post-partem depression? Or perhaps it was just a situational anxiety / depression. (I went through a bad anxiety mode / panic attack mode due to stress. Full-blown I had just WAY WAY WAY too much on my plate type stress and then I toppled over like a game of Jinga. I can almost call it my nervous breakdown- what else would you call it when you can't catch your breath for like an entire month??) And yes- I was in that Si grip pretty severely. I am recovered now. AND AWARE!!

    But what you said about embracing it (and I have done similar things to center myself ... which needs to be on-going) is such a great way to look at it and to put it. Thanks!! Here's to both of us emerging stronger than ever after seeing both sides of ourselves.

    And here ... I had a caricature done of us both.



    I love it! So cute! :) I've been lurking here and there...with school out I have been really busy with the kiddos :)

    I do wonder if post partum was part of it, although my baby is 2 3/4 years old. I did have some odd changes occur during his pregnancy and then it gradually got worse, hitting rock bottom when he was just turning 2. I also read that increased copper, low zinc, and low magnesium are related to post partum depression...copper rises during pregnancy and when there's too much, it can cause zinc and magnesium (among others) to not be absorbed effectively. To make matters worse, I had a copper IUD placed when he was about a year old, so I'm sure that added to things. Anyway, I never experienced PPD before and I have 3 kids, so that leads me to think age has something to do with it. So here's my theory...

    It was the perfect mixture, a recipe for disaster...I was at the age of entering the 3rd phase of development for an ENFP, which means Si was becoming more conscious in my thought process. I was pregnant and copper was building in me for the 3rd time along with all the previous non-pregnant years of copper slowly building up in me adding to it. I have a baby and my hormones go crazy, my baby was colicky, my husband graduated and we had to move, I was in my Sister's wedding that year and responsible for a lot in regard to that, and I lost a close family member to cancer. Not to mention, many other obstacles that were pretty draining (like one child having a hard time adjusting to school). I'd say, all of this slowly led to me feeling pretty overwhelmed, without me even realizing it!

    The thing is, I used to always have a very positive outlook on things, and then all of a sudden, that was gone too. I felt like a stranger when I realized I hated everyone around me and couldn't see the possibilities in a positive light. I think this is what broke the camel's back for me. I was down, and didn't even have my happy, bubbly spirit to lift me out...I was gone. Luckily though, with support from only a few personally chosen people, I worked my way out. Mr. 2eng is a pretty great ENTJ in case you didn't know it already :)
    Laguna and TheWildOne thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Recently, I was in charge of a group of women who were supposed to discuss a certain topic for 2 hours, take notes and come to a conclusion together. We all sat down and of course several began chatting about their jobs, their husbands, their kids, etc. I felt stressed and as an ENFP my natural inclination was to chat and relax with them but I knew we had so much to cover that we'd have a hard time doing it even in 2 hours. So, I tried to pull them back on course and several resisted... they just wanted to have a good time and chit chat. I became quite ISTJ as I bossed them back to getting on topic; I was very direct, rigid, unemotional and black & white "my way or the highway."
    BooMonster and Belovodia thanked this post.


     
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