[ENFP] Does this enfp like me? Please help me figure him out!

Does this enfp like me? Please help me figure him out!

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  • 16 Post By InLoveWithAWavelength
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This is a discussion on Does this enfp like me? Please help me figure him out! within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; So i am crushing on this ENFP (enfps are my guilty pleasure lol). We have been friends for two years ...

  1. #1

    enfp crisis

    So i am crushing on this ENFP (enfps are my guilty pleasure lol). We have been friends for two years and we were always "just friends" until lately he has been sending strong hints that he wants to take it a step further (unless its just his flirty personality). I am terrible at sending any types of hints back since i am an introvert but i started acting more flirty than usual. We both have a quirky sense of humor and it it so hard for me to find someone who understands my humor. He said out of the million of friends he has i am the only one that really gets his humor (unless he is just trying to make me feel special like you ENFPs tend to do).
    I do believe i am not intelligent enough for him though . He also says i am the only friend he actually wants to hangout with (then again he could be trying to make me feel special) Now that I initiate stuff more he has been ignoring me. He doesn't reply to messages and whenever i see him he looks depressed or doesn't want to look my way for very long. He says hi when i say hi but he says it very subtly. I thought maybe i'm being too clingy but I rarely contacted him and he doesn't contact me at all anymore.

    He greets me so differently from his normal optimistic, cheery attitude. He used to drop whatever he was doing to speak to me and he'd smile lot more. He even made sure we had classes together. He has been talking to this other girl recently ( i never get jealous. but i got very jealous) and acting flirty but a few days ago he was telling me how he didn't like her and when i see them from a distance he doesn't smile with her like he does with me. What makes you ENFP's ignore someone? did he get bored of me? the only thing i can think of is that i wasn't really listening to what he was saying last time and i kept getting distracted. I don't want to confront him like im 'jumping to conclusions'.
    Last edited by InLoveWithAWavelength; 09-12-2012 at 09:54 PM.



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I ignore a particular person when:
    a) I'm bored of them
    b) they do something to piss me off (in which case, you, the introvert have to step in and say "hey, what's wrong?"

    However, if I'm pissed off at a part of my life that has nothing to do with a certain person, I tend to ignore everyone and sort of sulk.
    Either way, ENFPs are on the whole very forgiving so if you've doen something to piss them off just confront them in some way about it. They might be a bit evasive though, if their pissed off attitude is due to their own insecurities.

    If they're bored of you though... there's nothing you can do really (at least not with me).

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by In.Love.With.A.Wavelength View Post
    So i am crushing on this ENFP (enfps are my guilty pleasure lol). We have been friends for two years and we were always "just friends" until lately he has been sending strong hints that he wants to take it a step further (unless its just his flirty personality). I am terrible at sending any types of hints back since i am an introvert but i started acting more flirty than usual. We both have a quirky sense of humor and it it so hard for me to find someone who understands my humor. He said out of the million of friends he has i am the only one that really gets his humor (unless he is just trying to make me feel special like you ENFPs tend to do).
    I do believe i am not intelligent enough for him though . He also says i am the only friend he actually wants to hangout with (then again he could be trying to make me feel special) Now that I initiate stuff more he has been ignoring me. He doesn't reply to messages and whenever i see him he looks depressed or doesn't want to look my way for very long. He says hi when i say hi but he says it very subtly. I thought maybe i'm being too clingy but I rarely contacted him and he doesn't contact me at all anymore.

    He greets me so differently from his normal optimistic, cheery attitude. He used to drop whatever he was doing to speak to me and he'd smile lot more. He even made sure we had classes together. He has been talking to this other girl recently ( i never get jealous. but i got very jealous) and acting flirty but a few days ago he was telling me how he didn't like her and when i see them from a distance he doesn't smile with her like he does with me. What makes you ENFP's ignore someone? did he get bored of me? the only thing i can think of is that i wasn't really listening to what he was saying last time and i kept getting distracted. I don't want to confront him like im 'jumping to conclusions'.
    Ask him what's on his mind. Something may be bothering him and he just doesn't realize that it's upsetting you. >.> ENFPs generally don't tell someone they are special or the "only" one they do anything with unless it's true. If he says things to make you feel special, then he sees you as someone special.

    It's possible he might be upset about being ignored. The biggest thing ENFPs need in a relationship is reassurance. If he thinks you're not interested in what he has to say, he may be jumping to the conclusion that you're not interested in him anymore.

    Tell him your concerns and encourage him to tell you his. Let him know that everything is still ok on your end and find out if it's not on his. If you're not a very touchy person, tell him that so he values little touches all the more from you. Let him know how you show affection so he can see reassurance even when he doesn't hear it.

    And remember these 4 words: Communication, Honesty, Respect, Trust
    NaughyChimp and Nevermind_me thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by In.Love.With.A.Wavelength View Post
    I do believe i am not intelligent enough for him though .
    I'm wondering why you are picking up on this? It's a valid concern. Intellectual compatibility is huge with me when selecting a mate. Intelligence is one of my biggest turn ons when seeking out a potential date.

    Also, if a person acts insecure about their level of intelligence around me, it's a huge turn-off. I wouldn't be able to just be myself. I may like them and be friendly with them, but I wouldn't be able to be with a mate who felt insecure this way. I love to be intellectually challenged and if instead I had to be the person who made someone else feel like they were intelligent enough, it would definitely take away from the romantic chemistry.

    I don't know what the reality is in your situation or how your guy is feeling. But I don't think feeling not intelligent enough is the way to go. But I think it is an issue. If not now, it could be one later.
    Rafiki, Truth and iemanja thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by iemanja View Post
    I ignore a particular person when:
    a) I'm bored of them
    b) they do something to piss me off (in which case, you, the introvert have to step in and say "hey, what's wrong?"
    I agree with this!
    And I would add:
    C) I like them!

    We act really goofy when we like someone- almost as if we don't like them- because we totally can't handle it.
    I don't know what the answer is with your ENFP. Wish I could help more. Good luck!

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    wow.
    must feel hard!

    you were right about the clingy part, although since you are aware of it and have consciously not been so, that doesn't seem to be the issue.

    he might be bored. when im interested i show it.
    chances are hes going through something hard, with that change of attitude, but its interesting, because were usually pretty good at hiding these things if we dont want them shown, so you might be seeing it for a reason...
    also, he might actually appreciate your confronting, and straight-to-the-point conversation. let him know, gently and non-pushy about the way you feel... your intuition can be greatly appreciated, although he might be kinda perplexed as how to respond.

    also, he wouldnt lie to make you feel better (generally i think) he might extrapolate, but he means those compliments.
    and honey, even if you two dont work out the way you want it to, he does care and you can revert to being casual friends again maybe... ?

    also, why the lack of confidence in your intelligence level? you're right, he probably is looking for someone challenging for him in that area, but be genuine and confident about what your level is, and he might appreciate that authenticity in it of itself..

    goodluck dear!

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I don't know...I usually show off and say stupid things when I like someone. I only flirt when flirted with. I get bashful, too, but only when I don't know the person. If they're my friend and I like them then I'll become a raving idiot.

    I say if he's acting weird I'd just leave him be for now. He's probably just dealing with something in his life (not related to you) and needs space. Worst case scenerio you could ask him if something's up--he'll probably love you for that.

  9. #8
    Unknown Personality


    It takes a great deal for me to completely ignore someone.

    But it doesn't sound like he's totally ignoring you. I think you might try talking with him about it...communication is the best way to find out what is going on. I really hope the best for you:-)

  10. #9

    He's not intentionally ignoring you. It's very hard to keep in contact with everyone when you're an enfp. They have to often try to keep in touch with everyone. So if he's not intentionally ignoring you, then he isn't interested in you more than a regular friend.

    He could however, intentionally ignore you.. if you did piss him off or he's keen on you texting/calling him first so he feels loved and important, he can suppress his urges to talk to you first, and then after a week or so to a month he'd prob msg you again.. or maybe not. depends i guess. it's really complicated, honestly.. but usually if ur texting each other back to back and your conversation topic dies down.. if the enfp likes you, he'll be the last one to text you. Even if you finish a thought and he has nothing to add... he'll send a text that's just a smiley face or something.. " =DD". But take these words with a grain of salt and not literally, because despite many similarities between enfps, there are differences!!!

    In the end.. enfps... it's really hard to tell if they like you romantically vs as a friend.. prob harder to distinguish than any other type. if one is ignoring you.. i.e. if you ask them to save you a seat in class, and he doesn't msg you till 2 minutes before the class... he really doesnt like you.. even as a friend lol. So I guess what I'm trying to say is.. even if he hates you, and the hate is not triggered in an impulsive way (in which case he'll lash out at you dramatically), he wont show it, he'll just ignore you... even then the ignoring is short lived lol...

    Enfp's dont ignore for a long time.. they just ignore for a little while for whatever reason, and then they just forget :p

    Cheeers! hope i helped you a bit... prob didnt' but it gave you more of an understanding hopefully =)!!

    -Jason

    **Edit: the thing I said about him always being the last one sending texts, even if it's a smiley face.. that still doesn't mean he likes you romantically, but that means he likes you at least as a friend or maybe more :p***


     

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