[ENFP] Crying over College - Page 2

Crying over College

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This is a discussion on Crying over College within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Thank you guys! I did a pro/con list and tried to simplify it best I can- either way I think ...

  1. #11

    Thank you guys! I did a pro/con list and tried to simplify it best I can- either way I think I will be able to visit both of the places either during breaks or even for internships, and I can always live in either of the communities after I graduate. In terms of my relationship, I wouldn't say that we've discussed spending the rest of our life together but both of us see each other together and even living together in the future. I wouldn't ever really do long-distance on purpose haha I agree w that I think that would be kinda wild but I am really open to it if it needs to happen. It is kind of a little bit of pressure I've put on myself though, and probably on him, to sort of stay together though because even though our relationship is really strong now and we have all these future visions of each other, who knows what will actually happen in reality- that is why I just hope we will be able to let go of the relationship if it goes sour. I have faith that I at least will be able to. We will see what happens in terms of where I end up! I will keep everyone updated. <3 :)
    ENFPathetic thanked this post.

  2. #12

    I'm sorry. I sometimes assume more than is reasonable. You're right. Perhaps a long distance relationship can work. My opinion was super subjective. A long distance relationship could never work for me because physical companionship is one of my biggest needs in a relationship. And I don't mean just sex. Even a simple conversation with someone I love feels so much more rewarding when I can feel her aura next to me. Perhaps this is more of a me thing rather than an ENFP thing.

    Thinking about it more objectively, I know from third person experience that long distance relationships can definitely work. One of my best friends maintained a long distance relationship for nearly 2 years before stepping up and getting married. He even went the entire 2 years without sex despite being very promiscuous when he first met the woman that eventually became his wife.

    Whatever direction you go, I wish you a happy, fulfilling life.

  3. #13

    Hi guys! Here I am again on this post, idk if anybody will see this but I didn't want to make a whole other post so here I am ! Basically I am still having the same dilemmas, but decision day is near and so I need all the advice I can get so if anybody does see this, pls !
    Basically: I am currently choosing between Reed in Oregon, University of Minnesota (state school), and Whittier College in California. The money is the issue mostly. I have made connections at Reed and yes, it is far and I would have to earn the money myself to fly home, but I don't mind that so much as the crippling debt I may have. My parents are open to asking my grandfather to donate more money to my cause, and if he does so I would be inclined to go there BUT. I don't know if I would be able to be close with my boyfriend if that happens because he currently doesn't have any living options in Oregon. Of course he would support me in moving but there are other factors as well. Reed is known for being super liberal and I am liberal but not like stiflingly so if you know what I mean like I like to learn about different viewpoints. They also are SUPER expensive as mentioned and the workload is apparently a lOT and I am kind of lazy sometimes in terms of studying to be honest. My state school is good as it is less expensive, I could be near my boyfriend, and I wouldn't have to stay forever, but I would feel bad giving up the other choice and all the friends/connections I made because idk how easy those would be to maintain at a different college. Lastly, Whittier is in California which was my dream state (or is?) but it is also expensive and apparently less good of a school than my state school and so I don't know if I would want to go there even though it is in california just because I haven't even visited and I do want some sort of an academic challenge so it isn't just like high school part two.

    There's only 5 days to choose so any insight would be helpful! If you know anything about these schools, or about making choices (I am really bad at it because I always fear i'll make the wrong one) it would be great! Or just anything in general, lets chat ! <3
    Llyralen thanked this post.

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  5. #14

    Reed seems like the intuitives choice
    Last edited by Surreal Snake; 04-26-2018 at 06:23 PM. Reason: The silver moth coughed
    m0ncheri thanked this post.

  6. #15

    I would go to Reed. I got into Reed too actually (Iím a senior applying to colleges this year as well). I thought it was super cool that they sent out copies of the Iliad with their acceptance letters.

    Have you visited campus? Itís really a beautiful campus. Iíve been there twice and loved it each time. Youíll definitely have a lot of independence and probably meet more interesting people at Reed. Itís also in a very nice area of Portland.

    Reed will also be an incredibly awesome intellectual experience that 95% of other schools wonít be able to compete with. Because of that, the students you will meet will also be amazing. A state school would definitely be world different than that and Iíd imagine a liberal arts education is very appealing to you.

    As to the liberal side of things, I have heard that thereís a group of students who are really far left, but most of them are graduating either this year or next. Long term I donít think itíll have a large effect on school culture and Reed has long been a bastion of free thought.

    You could appeal your financial aid package, but I donít know if theyíd be able to get back to you in time. I would definitely call instead email. They were incredibly generous and patient with me (and my twin brother) throughout the aid process. Our finances are a mess because of my parents divorce.

    With location, I think you might regret if you donít move and do something a little more exploratory. You might not get the chance again if you donít go now. And itíd be pretty easy to go from Portland to Seattle or Cali after graduation. To be blunt, I donít think a relationship now is worth sacrificing so much future potential for.
    Llyralen thanked this post.

  7. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by m0ncheri View Post
    Hi guys! Here I am again on this post, idk if anybody will see this but I didn't want to make a whole other post so here I am ! Basically I am still having the same dilemmas, but decision day is near and so I need all the advice I can get so if anybody does see this, pls !
    Basically: I am currently choosing between Reed in Oregon, University of Minnesota (state school), and Whittier College in California. The money is the issue mostly. I have made connections at Reed and yes, it is far and I would have to earn the money myself to fly home, but I don't mind that so much as the crippling debt I may have. My parents are open to asking my grandfather to donate more money to my cause, and if he does so I would be inclined to go there BUT. I don't know if I would be able to be close with my boyfriend if that happens because he currently doesn't have any living options in Oregon. Of course he would support me in moving but there are other factors as well. Reed is known for being super liberal and I am liberal but not like stiflingly so if you know what I mean like I like to learn about different viewpoints. They also are SUPER expensive as mentioned and the workload is apparently a lOT and I am kind of lazy sometimes in terms of studying to be honest. My state school is good as it is less expensive, I could be near my boyfriend, and I wouldn't have to stay forever, but I would feel bad giving up the other choice and all the friends/connections I made because idk how easy those would be to maintain at a different college. Lastly, Whittier is in California which was my dream state (or is?) but it is also expensive and apparently less good of a school than my state school and so I don't know if I would want to go there even though it is in california just because I haven't even visited and I do want some sort of an academic challenge so it isn't just like high school part two.

    There's only 5 days to choose so any insight would be helpful! If you know anything about these schools, or about making choices (I am really bad at it because I always fear i'll make the wrong one) it would be great! Or just anything in general, lets chat ! <3
    Whittier is out, obviously. With it not being a good school and so expensive that cuts your choices down. You can always visit California. You know I live in Oregon--- so the air quality is amazing in Oregon. I have no desire besides going to see @ai.tran.75 or take the kids to Disneyland to go to California. For Reeds, don't worry about it being too liberal unless you are against something that the main professors are trying to prove. Like, lets say, they are into studying marijuana for anxiety and you personally are against that--- well, that WOULD be very difficult. I had a religious friend who was getting a Master's in Shakespearian theater and the head of her program was interested in proving that Shakespeare was an atheist. He almost kicked her out of the program when he heard she was religious. This is very rare. I wish I could describe the scene for you, but it's actually very nice and accommodating. There is a huge variety of people out here. You'd do fine unless you have facts to show why you wouldn't agree with a certain teaching, you're fine.
    Is Reeds worth it to you for the quality of the program? Is there a prestige in graduating from there in your field that will help you get jobs? Worth the money and worth being really far from home?
    OR does University of Minnesota have a great program? Is it like < 1/2 the price of going to Reeds? Does it mean that you will have other advantages? Did you actually want to stick close to home? Or do you want to get away and focus on school? I'd say focus on school, but honestly that's not the healthy choice for everyone. Only you will know if you're okay being that far away. Staying at home also means you might not have to pay for lodging or get a job. With Reeds, would you need to get a job? That influences how well you can do at school.
    I now am going to give you the best piece of advice I ever heard while I was in school:

    You can do 3 out of 4 of the following things while you are at school, but not all 4.
    1 Get good grades, 2 Have a job too. 3 social life 4 sleep.
    It's SO true as someone who has tried to do it all. I usually picked the first 3 and I remember going for days with only 2-4 hours of sleep per night. Hey, don't do that. Take this seriously, it really is the best advice I've gotten and might help you make your decision. Plan for success and if that means staying at home so that you don't have to get a job so that you can concentrate on your grades, so be it. You need to get mostly A's to get into Master's degrees. (I think you need the Master's degree, right?)
    RexMaximus thanked this post.


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