Just seeking some impartial input. I have an ENFP who has been grieving a breakup for the last week and a half. She was dating an INTJ and he broke it off with her and she has been going through an emotional roller coaster and leaning heavily on her friend network for constant support.
The issue for me is, part of her grieving process is dwelling on his faults. Sure, the guy has some issues and I would have broken it off if it were me, but a lot of his behaviors that she is constantly pointing out is just normal introvert stuff (among his own unique problematic behaviors). Naturally, her disdain for these things and the way she talks about them makes ME (an introvert) feel like worthless shit. I have to go home/get off the phone and remind myself that she's just upset and don't let it get to me because clearly she doesn't have life figured out either. But man, it's kind of taking a toll on my psyche a little to hear a friend daily bashing characteristics that I also share.
I know she's caught up in her grief and probably not aware that she's insulting me, but it's making me feel bad and I'm not sure how to approach it with her. I don't want her to feel bad, I don't want to affect her healing process, I don't want to make it weird between us, I don't want to look selfish in her time of need. Any suggestions on how to gently talk to her about this?