[ENFP] What is your leadership style? What leadership skills have you learnt?

What is your leadership style? What leadership skills have you learnt?

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  • 4 Post By Tridentus
  • 2 Post By Llyralen
  • 2 Post By Fru2

This is a discussion on What is your leadership style? What leadership skills have you learnt? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; So it's been a question on this forum about whether ENFPs are leaders or not. The answer being that we ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    What is your leadership style? What leadership skills have you learnt?

    So it's been a question on this forum about whether ENFPs are leaders or not. The answer being that we don't really feel the need to be, but we differ in whether we find ourselves in that position or not, and in what context.

    However, what is your actual leadership style when you do find yourself in the position?

    I think some of mine comes from being raised in England, and then some of the role models I had growing up (a lot of whom were British historical figures)- where I believe strong leadership is non-chalant. The second that people sense you are "trying to lead" or have any vague sniff that this crosses your thought process, you immediately become less effective as a leader. A huge part of being a leader is being able to be yourself in other words. For example- Some of the things that make me up are the fact I like to analyse things and probably have a strong mind for it, I feel comfortable and generous in being the first person to sacrifice for someone else for the good of the group dynamic (I honestly couldn't care less, if someone takes advantage once I just make a mental note that I gave them that one testing chance)- though my Te will quickly sniff out whether this was a good move, and the fact that I genuinely like people and am a strong extrovert, and so it's enjoyable to me to facilitate others' succeeding.

    I do also believe that a strong awareness of power-social dynamics within groups is absolutely key, as well as an understanding of different types of personalities of course. It's up to you how you choose to use that awareness, but it has to be there.
    Llyralen, Fru2, tarmonk and 1 others thanked this post.



  2. #2

    When I was a manager my manager said (paraphrase) , "I don't know where you learned this, but you are better at training knowledge and passion into your staff better than anyone I've ever seen and I have never seen anyone do anything even close to your level on that. I don't know where you got that. It must come naturally."

    That was really reaffirming. It was true too, my staff were absolutely passionate about what we were doing.... lol... but not as passionate as I was, but enough. Enough that I started to see my staff becoming excellent teachers and when I left, I left the place in good hands.

    However, I had an awful time with delegating. I had an awful time with discipline. Usually it was easier to just do something myself then to explain all of my thinking on something. I have seen my mom be in charge of so many things down the years and her deligation is horrible. We would be up for hours at night trying to put things together that she took on but that she wouldn't dream of delegating. She knows she volunteers to do big things that nobody else would do.... we ENFPs need that supportive family. Thank heaven's for my husband's support. I don't choose big projects as much as my mom does. But its because she's got a vision and they always are amazing. Like the things my mom accomplishes nobody else could do.

    I watched a ENFP RN manage last week. She was so helpful and made decisions while making sure to tend to people's thoughts and feelings, making sure they felt heard and understood, and I watched her get to the heart of the problem and figure out a solution with her Ne and she did it so fast. Rattling those awesome decisions off and in the ones that she and I had to negotiate together she and I would come to a consensus right away. Anyway I thought what an amazing job she was doing. I think we are good managers usually with maybe only some problems like I discussed. There's probably some others.
    1. Delegation
    2. Biting off more than we can chew unless we are super passionate--- and even then we probably should delegate a bunch, which we don't.
    3. Discipline.
    4. Sometimes I had a hard time explaining all of my thinking to people. Some of it seemed really obvious to me... there was a balance I never quite found on that.

    I never fired anyone. I probably should have. Also, I left my pens all over the place and stole everyone's else's pens all the time..

    I realize I fidget a lot....lol .

  3. #3
    ENFP

    I'm now but a student with no real power over anybody, but back in my younger days, about four years ago, I used to be an troop commander of people who I enlisted and served with fro one and a half years before going off to a commanding course. I'll tell you what, soldiers who've served for two years in the Israeli army are some of the worst people you could manage. At that point you know all the tricks and all the little lies and threats the usual commander will give you and you know exactly how to work around it, and who would actually try to do his best with a payroll of about a fifth the minimum wage and less than adequate living conditions?

    I'd say my overall style was to know each person individually, knowing what moves them and what inspires them. And belief, if you only give the slightest gesture of "hey, I trust you with this", it could move mountains in how the person sees you. Yes, notice how I didn't say underling? Because each soldier is after all a person.

    Strong points:
    - Good at establishing a personal connection
    - Know easily what ticks and moves people
    - Spot places in the framework and schedule where I could give the soldiers some room for movement/rest
    - High willpower and assertiveness, when I want something to happen, it will happen

    Weak points:
    - Don't always get along with the upper echelon, "you want me to go with these four soldiers on a patrol shift right after coming back from a mission? No way, there are these soldiers that haven't done nothing the whole day" - "doesn't matter, you do what I tell you" - "Fuck you!" - "..you're staying the weekend" - "Fuuu.."
    - It's hard to keep track of personal schedules of all soldiers, it was hard enough to keep track of my own schedule before that
    - I can hardly keep from showing my contempt at people I think are assholes, doesn't really help when I need to deal with logistic stuff, since logistical personnel are the worst
    - Wasn't always in the mood lol
    Tridentus and tarmonk thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP

    I'm not working as leader or manager position but I like to take leadership when it comes to leading bigger projects at work. Years ago my one INFP friend whom I was working together said that it seems so easy for me if I can imagine end result and have a good team. Maybe not so good in creating a new team as one of my main mentors I had those times was better at this. But if the people are already in place, it's quite easy.

    Some of my methods I think I use:

    * enthusiasm - I can easily "glue" people together in the name of bigger goal. My one INTJ coworker said I'm like sunshine when I enter the room and will make everybody else more lively and energized too. That's actually interesting and a bit contradictional as I don't consider myself being a people person and I think I "radiate" less emotions to external world than I have inside me. But maybe then I don't perceive my external self correctly.

    * literally said playing Tetris or puzzle game with people - just combine them for what's best for everybody's skills and personality traits

    * delegation - that's even better than doing everything by myself as I don't need to deal with every "nasty" and boring thing by myself :)

    * always seeing big picture and imagining end result/goal. Weakness here is that I don't like to create detailed plans and as you often need to cooperate with your Si type managers, they don't almost understand how it's possible to lead without having detailed plans :) But during recent years I figured out that having a plan is actually not bad at all. Not every person can see the big picture so easily and they really need those plans to work. I finally understood it's not there to only bully me :) But I have advantage at the moment that I work together with some other Ne types (INTPs especially) who also don't require too detailed tasks. But it looks like they do like it more when they don't have to take whole leadership about the project on their shoulders as they're better at practical standalone tasks than ENFP is.

    At younger ages when Te wasn't developed yet, I seemed to maybe control people too much and was too goal oriented at work in always not so healthy ways but it has improved a lot with time.
    Last edited by tarmonk; 12-21-2018 at 05:32 AM.

  6. #5

    I will say this from my own perspective and that of my friends. Now I have no actual power over anybody but I do have some impact to my teams.

    I usually rely on my charisma to string people to my team. I draw them in and then help them grow to their greatest potential possible. Most of the time people just push me up to be a leader of the team. My IxFJ friend said that "You are much scarier than you let on. You push us to be better but I also feel that if we can't, you might just drop us behind without looking back." which partly holds true. Though not to that extreme, mind you.

    I have no problem with discipline. Meaning, if my teams are decent I reward them (in form of helping them grow further, helping them out with other things or simply a good meal) but if they slack off I don't hesitate to kick them out. I do love and very much go over the top to help anyone, but still I care for the efficiency of work and for my own team. And to those who earn my respect or my trust. I will make sure that all their needs are met and all their hidden potentials I sense come out to the world. Because personally I want to see them grow, genuinely. I don't see them as co-workers who just get out of my life when things are done. But as a companion who shares my burden that I genuinely want to help.

    I don't know if it's also true to other ENFPs but for me, authorization and taking charge of situation comes to me naturally. I also noticed that people let me be a leader partly because how fast I react to the situation and how quick I am at taking charge. And I have no problem with delegation. Because before I delegate the tasks I ruminate and think them all through and listed them all in paper, a very useful skill I learn from my INTJ, ENTJ friend and ESTP aunt. The plan I make tend to be loose with clear deadlines and clear objectives. This might contradict a little. When I take charge quickly it is superficial and in the moment, like quickly initiate the talk about goals and quickly calling people together. Then I take time to ruminate.

    So when I delegate the task I just hand them out clearly and enunciate everything. I'm a perfectionist, but I don't peeve. I just leave my team to use their potentials and checking on them once in a while. Because I know that micromanaging is bad, especially for us and by us.

    All in all, every work I do, I try my best to push people further to their capacity and organize the work as best I can. But if someone else is more competent and acceptable, I will gladly let that one lead. It's the goal that matters, not personal pride.

    Core values of mine regarding leadership: Decisiveness, benevolence, respect, fairness and most importantly sincerity.

    //I also find that I learn a lot and change a lot from when I was young. Thanks to all the people in my life.

    Edit: My aunt just pointed out that compare to my ENFP uncle I am much colder and harsher. Also much more grounded and much less compliant. (He is 2w1)
    Last edited by Belledonna; 12-21-2018 at 07:13 AM.


     

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