Hi guys. I am asking this question here because you guys know a lot about other mbtis and would probably provide better judgement.
I have been seeing an ENTJ post 3-4 weeks after my previous breakup. We met on an online dating app (guess what it is..lol). He said "I think you're a lovely person to know" - which for some reason struck a chord in my heart.
We bonded because he was also involved in a breakup. His breakup was amicable and done respectfully, while I was more of discarded (my ex was abusive, and the breakup was traumatizing). So we have been going together to support recovery groups, anger management, communications classes, etc. It is pretty heavy. I spent a few nights at his apartment with just cuddling, cause I couldn't have sex yet. Eventually we began making out and then it developed into...a relationship. I felt like he found pieces of me in a metal scrap yard and re-built me.
Fast forward to two days ago, on the peak of the relationship, he tells me that his counselor asked him that he needs to be single in order to work towards being a better person. He is working on some "anger" things, his ex cheated on him with a couple of men. I find it so hard to believe cause the man is eye candy and very GRR (in a good way). But I am supposing, the anger side I have not seen was so bad that it might have caused his ex to dismiss him completely. His job is working on airplanes and it seems like a very toxic industry, and very high percentage of divorces as well.
I honestly have not seen him angry, but that night when he was trying to tell me that both of us need to be single so we can work out on issues, I felt mad. I was already attached to him, and I know that I was in a bad breakup, but because my ex lied to me from the beginning till the end of our relationship, kind of made me believe that the entire relationship was false, and just like a "movie" that I am trying to bury in the back of my mind.
But my new guy does want to be "efficient". He says if he does not change now, what happened to him and his ex will happen to us again. He said he will not be on dating sites because he does not want to be with anyone else after already meeting me. I assumed hardcore that he wanted to breakup because he got tired of me and that he used me. I am sorry. This is what years of lying and gaslighting can do to a woman. Sigh. He also said he has a long childhood history of his dad telling him most people are just out to get you, and want something from you. I assume he wants to fix his entire self. I kind of insinuated to him last night that "hey maybe in your next relationship, etc" halfway through dinner he looked me in the eyes and said "I am not over you." It kind of caught me off guard, and I felt it was one of the saddest things in the world.
Anyway this all feels so heavy for me. In a sense, it might have been "easier" to assume he just used me, but it now seems like he wants to go through the recovery process and sort of is asking me to go through with it with him. What do you think? Has anyone ever heard of this before? I was already trying to flirt with other men before he told me all these things. Now I feel like a douchebag. How do you know if someone is worth waiting for? This is going to take months. Why does it feel like I know him so much, and I understand him so much and vice versa, despite the fact that we are both very different?