tl;dr: My ENFP boyfriend confessed about cheating on me (INTP), but after 3 days said he was lying about cheating on me to hurt me for hurting him.
As an INTP I really don't understand ENFP's emotional decision making. Maybe some of you folks can explain me exactly whats going on with this ENFP.
I have been in relationship with him for more than 4 years. We both love each other. The only bone of contention are my friends (all girls). He strongly believes that my girlfriends are immoral people and I should not associate with them in any way. But I disagree. I don't see any logic in it. I have known them for long and yes they might behave amoral (slutty) sometimes but I don't care what they do in their personal life. They are only few people I feel comfortable hanging out. We had multiple arguments and fights over this.
Last week I met them for girl's night out. It was a house party. I did tell him about the plans, but he was getting angry so I dropped the subject. On the evening of the party, I told him but he didn't say anything.
Next day he told me that he got drunk because I went with my friends despite his objection. He hooked-up with someone and cheated on me. He was very upset and cried. Apparently the guilt was killing him and he wanted to let it out. I was devastated. My ex boyfriend had cheated on me and this ENFP was the one who helped me recover from heartbreak and made me smile. He always told me how dearly he hold his morals and would never cheat or lie.
I asked him to give me time and Il be back when Im ready. We didn't meet for next two days. However he constantly kept sending me messages.
On third day he came to my home and told me that he was angry at me and wanted to hurt me, so he made-up the whole cheating story. However he did confess of chatting up with a girl on a dating site but swore nothing happened between them. He said he is not a cheater and would never do such a thing.
It made me even further angry because he chose to hurt me exactly where it would hurt me the most due to my past experience.
1) During second month of our relationship, he told me that he went on a date with someone, while still being with me. But later changed the story and said he doesn't remember when it happened. According to him it happened before meeting me.
2) While I was out of country a year back. One of my friends caught him on a dating site. He said he was bored and just wanted to chat.
I do love him alot and can see our future together, but this emotional drama is too much for me. He is loving kind and caring. Someone I can connect to and talk. I don't want to throw it all away because of one lie or a hurtful emotional decision he made in drunken state. However he is making it difficult for me to get back with him.
It would be great if any of you ENFPs can tell me whats going on.