This is a discussion on ENFP Extraversion Myth within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by APBReloaded I think personally I'd like to think I'm pretty extroverted. Always seeking human interaction even in ...
Yes, I've come to Korea early mainly just for economic reasons, although I always intended to end up here by summer 2019. I think in the time that you've been on this forum I've frequently talked about my stage of life, and maybe when you first joined I was in the middle-to-end of the exploratory stage? I'm pretty much at the end now and intend to settle here permanently until I have a good reason to do otherwise. I guess "chasing" settling down is not a good mindset to have, but I would say I'm pretty much keeping an eye open.
I'm getting those moments as an ENFP male where I feel slightly "odd" as a guy in the sense that normally it's women who get strong maternal instincts at some point or another, but I guess I'm getting 'paternal' instincts coming on LOL. Some of my kids in my younger classes are so damn adorable, I would like to have that sort of grounding responsibility in my life these days, I'm definitely done floating around.
While I'm single I'm still going to keep up my usual activity though- great thing about Seoul is that it's one of the easiest places in the world to meet people, it really is an Ne paradise in many ways.
I just imagined myself in England, there aren't as many possibilities to try things and people aren't as open. Generally over here I meet people who like to travel, either expats or locals who want to meet foreigners and speak English. In England everything is very much stable and routine-based, I can easily imagine myself even if I were to move to London or something just falling into a rut. If I were to move to London it would be bloody expensive at that. I would also like to teach at university which I can do here- wheras if I were to try to become a full professor which is what I would need to do that in England it would be another several years of school and further $10000s- I just really want to be working right now, and if I go back to school it would be with healthy savings and the portfolio to be able to tutor and work on the side.
Korea can really be argued for to have the best of everything in life, at least be in contention- best food, best social scene, best outdoor activities (mountains, beaches, fields, mudflats, rivers), much better weather (I've recently come to the conclusion that I most likely have seasonal affective disorder, and during cloudy winters in England I feel like all my vitality is sucked out, whereas Korea gets very very cold but the sun will still be out most of the time). You just can't say any of that about England.
I don't think it's been a tough decision at all really- I'm here now and everything is as expected. The one thing I would say is that I would probably consider moving to Australia at the point I have kids, simply because it's a fantastic place to grow up and Korean children face a huge burden of academic pressures. That should still be a fair way away though, 4-5 years would be a nice time to be at that point I think.
@Tridentus Seems like you're in a good place now, figuratively as well. Taking the initiative to plan your life ahead pays off rather quickly, doesn't it? I've noticed that there's this initial spur at the moment of making the plans, but the best part is the moment where you realize you've achieved your short term goal and can take things a few steps further.
You're mentioning your situation in a very Ne-Te manner, yet for the most part the decisions you make are essentially Fi based, which is the way to go imo. Keep it up!
One thing that really helps me is I've been listening to a lot of podcasts by Jordan Peterson and comedians Bill Burr and Joe Rogan. With regard to Fi especially- taking on more responsibility has been a key theme in the last year or so basically- especially things like my grandma is getting to that stage where she is a hospital risk at all times, and my mom is very ADD and finds life hard to cope it occurs to me that I'm suddenly a key figure point for protecting my family, outside my uncle who is very successful but he has his own young family to manage. All the love, care and attention that they gave to me all these years, it's now my role to fulfill that and take on the mantle so to speak. That's also kind of how I get the feeling I'm at the cusp of being ready to start a family of the situation presents itself.
I've always said for ENFPs, although Ne is a basic need and Te is an incredibly useful tool, that Fi is the basic driver for our fulfilment. When I'm in alignment with Fi everything becomes easy, and when I'm not my conscience can give me a hard time.
It depends on how we define extraversion :) If that's being very social and making connections with lot of people - then nope for me. If that means expressing your thoughts and ideas out loud and being often the most lively person in the room then yes. It seems like dom Ne is really weird form of extraversion as I can be most introverted and most extraverted person at the same time.
Really haven't figured out yet why I seemingly don't need people around me most of the time. It's needed only occasionally when I go out somewhere. No social anxiety, no shyness or whatever which could affect it.
@Falling Foxes I've been wanting to say, I'm not so happy as an introvert. I need down time to process emotions and thoughts and feelings, but to be happy I do need fulfilling relationships. An introvert wouldn't necessarily say so. An introvert would charish and covet their alone time from what I can tell. Introverts wouldn't feel unfulfilled. I do need the RIGHT kind of relationships. It's not like we are in discriminant as extroverts. That's actually probably my biggest problem is that I want to be able to create satisfying relationships where I can speak about things with depth. I wish my husband would get a new job shift.
I also think it would be fun for us all to skype each other here....
Love you guys!
Love you FF!
In MY opinion, I personally think this whole "most introverted of the extraverts" is a saying encouraged among intuitives to make us feel more special than we actually are.
Sure, one can easily say we're more extraverted than Ixxx types, but quieter than Se doms and ExTx. However, spending my times around those exact types, I'm pretty damn extroverted and I'm not that quiet.
My ESFP friends are loud, but so am I. I need my recharge moments, but so do everyone else regardless of type? I can be pretty outspoken and opinionated (debating with NTs and STs) while my ESFP friends preferred to lurk and observe the whole time until they're in the mood to take the stage.
This also applies with vice versa.
Around ExTx, I straight up have a motor mouth (seeking connection, trying to relate, oversharing, etc) much more than them.
I'm the one constantly pulling my ESTP friend out for games, working out and adventure.
Yes. ESTP friend.
At the end of the day regardless of how much I need my alone time, I'm still an extrovert. I hate people, but I also need people and suck energy out of human interaction.