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ENFP Extraversion Myth

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This is a discussion on ENFP Extraversion Myth within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by APBReloaded I think personally I'd like to think I'm pretty extroverted. Always seeking human interaction even in ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by APBReloaded View Post
    I think personally I'd like to think I'm pretty extroverted. Always seeking human interaction even in my leisure activities. The issue comes from not having the level of closeness I require, and then constantly falling back on coping mechanisms like video game/anime characters. I feel like I relate to them way more than real people. But what I relate to doesn't change the fact that I want to talk to people like me.
    Oh yes.... hear! hear! on the "level of closeness I require". Understood!

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by Tridentus View Post
    I'm an extrovert, it's pretty clear.

    I spend much more of my time trying to organise and manage my time alone, however that is a sign that I am being fulfilled.

    Sometimes I actually notice other people reacting to me in social settings like I'm this person that inside I feel like I'm not though. Inside, I'm my own harshest critic and I really mean that- but other people view me as this super extroverted person who organises things. I guess it's true that I have been motivated and focused on improving this part of me since I was a teenager so it makes sense that I would cultivate that "identity", although to me sometimes it feels strange like I have impostor syndrome.

    I'm finally working in Korea though, which is my ideal environment. If I were still in the UK I would probably be more of a hermit right now- I need that fast pace of life to feel vitalised.
    Oh! Tridentus, you're back in Korea? We could do with an update!

  3. #13
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Llyralen View Post
    Oh! Tridentus, you're back in Korea? We could do with an update!
    Hey!

    Yes, I've come to Korea early mainly just for economic reasons, although I always intended to end up here by summer 2019. I think in the time that you've been on this forum I've frequently talked about my stage of life, and maybe when you first joined I was in the middle-to-end of the exploratory stage? I'm pretty much at the end now and intend to settle here permanently until I have a good reason to do otherwise. I guess "chasing" settling down is not a good mindset to have, but I would say I'm pretty much keeping an eye open.

    I'm getting those moments as an ENFP male where I feel slightly "odd" as a guy in the sense that normally it's women who get strong maternal instincts at some point or another, but I guess I'm getting 'paternal' instincts coming on LOL. Some of my kids in my younger classes are so damn adorable, I would like to have that sort of grounding responsibility in my life these days, I'm definitely done floating around.

    While I'm single I'm still going to keep up my usual activity though- great thing about Seoul is that it's one of the easiest places in the world to meet people, it really is an Ne paradise in many ways.
    Falling Foxes, Llyralen, tarmonk and 1 others thanked this post.

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  5. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by Tridentus View Post
    Hey!

    Yes, I've come to Korea early mainly just for economic reasons, although I always intended to end up here by summer 2019. I think in the time that you've been on this forum I've frequently talked about my stage of life, and maybe when you first joined I was in the middle-to-end of the exploratory stage? I'm pretty much at the end now and intend to settle here permanently until I have a good reason to do otherwise. I guess "chasing" settling down is not a good mindset to have, but I would say I'm pretty much keeping an eye open.

    I'm getting those moments as an ENFP male where I feel slightly "odd" as a guy in the sense that normally it's women who get strong maternal instincts at some point or another, but I guess I'm getting 'paternal' instincts coming on LOL. Some of my kids in my younger classes are so damn adorable, I would like to have that sort of grounding responsibility in my life these days, I'm definitely done floating around.

    While I'm single I'm still going to keep up my usual activity though- great thing about Seoul is that it's one of the easiest places in the world to meet people, it really is an Ne paradise in many ways.
    Was it a hard decision choosing between England and Korea? Although, it's not set in stone or anything, but it sounds like you needed to make this decision. What went into that? Do you have more family there or in England? I think I have heard you talk about how much you love Seoul--- lots of variety, is it?

  6. #15
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Llyralen View Post
    Was it a hard decision choosing between England and Korea? Although, it's not set in stone or anything, but it sounds like you needed to make this decision. What went into that? Do you have more family there or in England? I think I have heard you talk about how much you love Seoul--- lots of variety, is it?
    In the end not really. I prefer nearly everything here- it's a much faster pace of life with more possibilities, etc. The only thing about England and the place I lived in that I prefer is that when you want some down time it feels more peaceful there.

    I just imagined myself in England, there aren't as many possibilities to try things and people aren't as open. Generally over here I meet people who like to travel, either expats or locals who want to meet foreigners and speak English. In England everything is very much stable and routine-based, I can easily imagine myself even if I were to move to London or something just falling into a rut. If I were to move to London it would be bloody expensive at that. I would also like to teach at university which I can do here- wheras if I were to try to become a full professor which is what I would need to do that in England it would be another several years of school and further $10000s- I just really want to be working right now, and if I go back to school it would be with healthy savings and the portfolio to be able to tutor and work on the side.

    Korea can really be argued for to have the best of everything in life, at least be in contention- best food, best social scene, best outdoor activities (mountains, beaches, fields, mudflats, rivers), much better weather (I've recently come to the conclusion that I most likely have seasonal affective disorder, and during cloudy winters in England I feel like all my vitality is sucked out, whereas Korea gets very very cold but the sun will still be out most of the time). You just can't say any of that about England.

    I don't think it's been a tough decision at all really- I'm here now and everything is as expected. The one thing I would say is that I would probably consider moving to Australia at the point I have kids, simply because it's a fantastic place to grow up and Korean children face a huge burden of academic pressures. That should still be a fair way away though, 4-5 years would be a nice time to be at that point I think.
    Falling Foxes, Llyralen and Fru2 thanked this post.

  7. #16
    ENFP

    @Tridentus Seems like you're in a good place now, figuratively as well. Taking the initiative to plan your life ahead pays off rather quickly, doesn't it? I've noticed that there's this initial spur at the moment of making the plans, but the best part is the moment where you realize you've achieved your short term goal and can take things a few steps further.

    You're mentioning your situation in a very Ne-Te manner, yet for the most part the decisions you make are essentially Fi based, which is the way to go imo. Keep it up!
    Tridentus thanked this post.

  8. #17
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Fru2 View Post
    @Tridentus Seems like you're in a good place now, figuratively as well. Taking the initiative to plan your life ahead pays off rather quickly, doesn't it? I've noticed that there's this initial spur at the moment of making the plans, but the best part is the moment where you realize you've achieved your short term goal and can take things a few steps further.

    You're mentioning your situation in a very Ne-Te manner, yet for the most part the decisions you make are essentially Fi based, which is the way to go imo. Keep it up!
    Thanks yeah. I know I speak with a mannerism of assertiveness on here about my opinions, but in reality I'm too young to really have 100% certainty about my intuitions all the time, and it's certainly healthy to doubt. However, when you have an intuitive projection that you cast years into the future, and things roughly turn out the way that you thought, it definitely gives a great sense of satisfaction and alignment like "ok, you've actually got a certain amount of shit together, which is a great thing".

    One thing that really helps me is I've been listening to a lot of podcasts by Jordan Peterson and comedians Bill Burr and Joe Rogan. With regard to Fi especially- taking on more responsibility has been a key theme in the last year or so basically- especially things like my grandma is getting to that stage where she is a hospital risk at all times, and my mom is very ADD and finds life hard to cope it occurs to me that I'm suddenly a key figure point for protecting my family, outside my uncle who is very successful but he has his own young family to manage. All the love, care and attention that they gave to me all these years, it's now my role to fulfill that and take on the mantle so to speak. That's also kind of how I get the feeling I'm at the cusp of being ready to start a family of the situation presents itself.

    I've always said for ENFPs, although Ne is a basic need and Te is an incredibly useful tool, that Fi is the basic driver for our fulfilment. When I'm in alignment with Fi everything becomes easy, and when I'm not my conscience can give me a hard time.

  9. #18
    ENFP

    It depends on how we define extraversion :) If that's being very social and making connections with lot of people - then nope for me. If that means expressing your thoughts and ideas out loud and being often the most lively person in the room then yes. It seems like dom Ne is really weird form of extraversion as I can be most introverted and most extraverted person at the same time.

    Really haven't figured out yet why I seemingly don't need people around me most of the time. It's needed only occasionally when I go out somewhere. No social anxiety, no shyness or whatever which could affect it.
    Falling Foxes thanked this post.

  10. #19

    @Falling Foxes I've been wanting to say, I'm not so happy as an introvert. I need down time to process emotions and thoughts and feelings, but to be happy I do need fulfilling relationships. An introvert wouldn't necessarily say so. An introvert would charish and covet their alone time from what I can tell. Introverts wouldn't feel unfulfilled. I do need the RIGHT kind of relationships. It's not like we are in discriminant as extroverts. That's actually probably my biggest problem is that I want to be able to create satisfying relationships where I can speak about things with depth. I wish my husband would get a new job shift.
    I also think it would be fun for us all to skype each other here....
    Love you guys!
    Love you FF!
    tarmonk thanked this post.

  11. #20

    In MY opinion, I personally think this whole "most introverted of the extraverts" is a saying encouraged among intuitives to make us feel more special than we actually are.

    Sure, one can easily say we're more extraverted than Ixxx types, but quieter than Se doms and ExTx. However, spending my times around those exact types, I'm pretty damn extroverted and I'm not that quiet.

    My ESFP friends are loud, but so am I. I need my recharge moments, but so do everyone else regardless of type? I can be pretty outspoken and opinionated (debating with NTs and STs) while my ESFP friends preferred to lurk and observe the whole time until they're in the mood to take the stage.
    This also applies with vice versa.

    Around ExTx, I straight up have a motor mouth (seeking connection, trying to relate, oversharing, etc) much more than them.
    I'm the one constantly pulling my ESTP friend out for games, working out and adventure.
    Yes. ESTP friend.

    At the end of the day regardless of how much I need my alone time, I'm still an extrovert. I hate people, but I also need people and suck energy out of human interaction.
    Falling Foxes and tarmonk thanked this post.


     
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