[ENFP] ENFP Extraversion Myth - Page 4

ENFP Extraversion Myth

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This is a discussion on ENFP Extraversion Myth within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Jawz Very good post. I've noticed something about myself in recent years and that's I don't want ...

  1. #31

    Quote Originally Posted by Jawz View Post
    Very good post.

    I've noticed something about myself in recent years and that's I don't want someone to talk to, I need someone to talk to ... An intimate one on one for me is literally an opportunity to interact with another object unless I have some sort of real interest in them as an individual --- which in my experience over the years is usually much more stand-off-ish than I myself realized. Immersion with an individual is essentially just another one of the things that I have on my plate to do .. not much different from watching a movie, playing a game etc. Interaction with people = Interaction with objects. As long as they have something interesting to offer I'm interested. Once that's gone, I move on.

    That said, I have a huge problem being in big crowds, parties, family get togethers etc etc. They're not my cup of tea. Never have been. Never will be. I want an exclusive one on one. I really enjoy my life as a hermit where I interact with people exclusively online because that way I get to choose exactly who I talk to and am not ever feeling a sense of obligation towards others and their needs that I don't want to. Inherently, I've come to realize I'm *very selfish*, but at the same time, I will dedicate to someone's needs to the best of my ability if they really need some sort of support.

    A lot of people confuse that with introversion. I don't in my particular case because for me I'm still oriented outwards towards the object. Just that I can only handle one or two at a time, not more. Even in fast paced chats where there's dozens of people chatting at a time, I slip away to do something more private.
    I take it you are Sx first, because of your emphasis on 1 on 1. And I could def see how people think that's introversion. Funny thing I'm sort of different from you in that respect, 1 on 1 is slightly uncomfortable for me if I don't know the person. I am actually better with just lightly entertaining some group of folks, sitting in a corner making the people laugh every now and then, being a class clown, rather than getting into juicy interactions 1 on 1 with people I don't know, those are the situations I tend to leave if I don't care enough about the person, and I slip away to a more public chat. But I'm an introvert, I'm primarily not focused on objects but stimulating internal states, watching some show to stimulate me internally, or reflecting on some thought, or reflecting on a bunch of moments that happened throughout the day, or listening to music to stimulate me internally and emotionally, or reading some article to satisfy curiousity, or trying to draw out something I feel inside or imagine essentially trying to describe some internal experience outwardly, it's all geared towards some internal pay off.
    Jawz thanked this post.

  2. #32

    Quote Originally Posted by Falling Foxes View Post
    It's become a pretty popular saying, particularly around PerC that ENFPs are the most introverted extraverts; and we will explain that is because being intuitive doms that our extraversion can be purely satisfied without people but is that true?

    I have been saying that I am pretty introverted and when I've miserably lived the last year feeling like a hermit it's difficult to say otherwise. I have a social life, sure, but it clearly doesn't satisfy me.

    So how much is this "I'm not much of an extravert" all our own skewed perception of ourselves? Do we see ourselves that way when the external world doesn't?

    I was living in Prague and left a year ago. Today I've finally returned to meet up with old friends. I have heard on 4 separate occasions from 4 different people that once I left their whole social life went with me, that I was the lynch pin of the group who would force others to come out and socialise (most appreciated it) but it made me realise I must be more extraverted than I thought since I didn't realise I was the one who had to bring introverts out of their rooms.

    So how honest do you think your own perception of your extraversion is?
    I think Iím the opposite- my perception of my extroversion tends to baffle people more so if theyíre close with me

    I highly doubt Iím blind to my introversion Introspect more than anyone I know.
    Iím extroverted bc I enjoy exploring- traveling - adapt well to changes - donít stress as easily nor have I ever had any anxiety, people amuses me quite much and I donít fear them
    However often time when I tell someone Iím an extrovert ( irl and even online if one was to have deep conversations with me or know me personally) itís hard for the believe - many of my introverted friends are louder - talks more - party harder or craves human interaction more than I do- I made a post about traveling alone a few years back and to my surprise- more extroverts have done so than introverts - same with going to a movie theater alone .
    Introverts do know theyíre introvert ( regardless how social - loud - talkative ) they say itís a mask they learn to adapt or its random or with close friends only - so that part rings true - I donít pretend to be more social or mask my friendliness- my emotion are genuine

    i donít know Iím an introvert or extrovert within the social definition- but I honestly think many people are ambiverts
    My confusion lies on myself getting drain from hanging out with anyone for over 2 hours - and how I enjoy being alone more than socializing( though I also enjoy socializing Iím not fearful of it ) , Iím also much calmer and less impulsive than most people I know - I reflect inward before acting out - always have but I have no fear of acting out or diving into new things , I work better under pressure
    I like people and Iím not anxious or grouchy about meeting new people and I get excited when I see old friends or hang out with close relatives

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #33

    The social butterfly description I read about ENFP and extraverted in general is what make me wonder if I'm ENFP? I perceive myself as shy, reserved, introverted, but people in my volunteering place, or chess/music clubs, penpals describe me as more as socially extraverted even though I'm not having a busy social life.

    You raised a very interesting topic here @Falling Foxes about self perception vs other perceptions of our self. Maybe it is more about the potential of extraversion ? Like maybe we perceive the gap between how we are extraverted at the moment, and how more extraverted we could be ?
    Something like that ?
    Falling Foxes thanked this post.

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