[ENFP] Crush on an ENFP - do I still have a chance?

Crush on an ENFP - do I still have a chance?

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This is a discussion on Crush on an ENFP - do I still have a chance? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hi guys! INFP here - I met this ENFP girl about 6 months ago and fell for her quite hard. ...

  1. #1

    Crush on an ENFP - do I still have a chance?

    Hi guys!

    INFP here - I met this ENFP girl about 6 months ago and fell for her quite hard. She's absolutely amazing: she's confident, artistic, open-minded - your typical ENFP, and I love that! We went on a few dates and I had a great time and it seemed like she did as well.

    But here's where things get a bit weird: she said she can't see me for a while because she has a lot of stress at the moment, but that it wouldn't change "the way she feels about me". I understood what she was going through and told her to let me know when things settle down a bit.

    We haven't talked in a couple of months (btw she lives kind of far away) so I decided to reach out again - it seemed like she was happy to hear from me and we actually met again after a while. But I started losing hope, because even though we've been having all of these amazing conversations, we never took things further..

    She knows I like her because she found out I wrote a poem about her. But I'm confused whether she would want to take things to the next level or not. After our last meetup I stopped messaging her because I thought she wasn't interested. But lately she's been on my Instagram a lot, tagging me in a photo that reminded her of one of our conversations from months ago, liking my pics (she didn't really like a lot of my pics before) or reacting to my stories.

    So, I guess my question is: does any of this mean anything? Is she trying to start a conversation again, does she want me to message her? Or should I just move on without ever finding out "the way she feels about me"?


    My problem is that she hasn't turned me down yet - she has to know I like her, I may not say it directly, but I wrote a poem, bought her flowers, invited her out for dinner, etc. Is it normal for ENFP's to stay silent instead of hurting someone's feelings?



  2. #2
    Unknown

    This isn't an enfp matter but an individual matter. There's a possibility that she doesn't know whether she likes you enough yet or that she only sees you as a friend but is flattered that you're interested in her, also having a crush on somebody doesn't necessarily means that you want to be with them/date them...
    What do you think ? Put yourself in her place- what would you do


    Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

  3. #3
    ENFP

    @3000egal I think you're being hesitant, she sure seems that way as well, I think she expects you to march forward with confidence and grace and take things further. Perhaps it's my intuition that's at play here, or just sheer optimism and idealism, but you better go all the way and say what you have to say before you give up and desert the scene. You'd regret it afterwards if you don't at least tell her face to face what you feel for her.

    As for her liking your pics, yeah, if she didn't want to go further she'd avoid it altogether. Besides, if I were in her spot and I wasn't interested I'd just end things as soon as possible and save the drag of the false hope. It's an uncomfortable position to let you stay in.
    Llyralen, tarmonk, Moby85 and 2 others thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP

    I'd still suggest like always that just ask it directly from her and you'll get the answer (which ever it'll be) quickly, saving you time from scanning the hypothetical possibilities and feeling bad without reason :) It works regardless of our types :)

    It's perfectly fine to express it using different methods instead of making "big words" (I'm not good at this either) but be sure that the message is clear enough and shows what you expect. I can't speak for all ENFPs or even if it depends on type at all but I'd say staying silent and weighing all the options carefully before saying something so that you definitely don't hurt anybody is more like INFP thing (based on how I see my INFP friend differently from myself). If I was somebody's crush, I'd not hide it when I definitely didn't want to date her.

    Unfortunately in realw world people are not mind-readers and it's more effective to remove guessing from the path in order to get what you want or at least move closer to that :)
    Llyralen, Fru2 and 3000egal thanked this post.

  6. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Fru2 View Post
    @3000egal I think you're being hesitant, she sure seems that way as well, I think she expects you to march forward with confidence and grace and take things further. Perhaps it's my intuition that's at play here, or just sheer optimism and idealism, but you better go all the way and say what you have to say before you give up and desert the scene. You'd regret it afterwards if you don't at least tell her face to face what you feel for her.

    As for her liking your pics, yeah, if she didn't want to go further she'd avoid it altogether. Besides, if I were in her spot and I wasn't interested I'd just end things as soon as possible and save the drag of the false hope. It's an uncomfortable position to let you stay in.
    Damn, I guess that means I need to gain some confidence now before it's too late lol
    But you're right, it's better to go all the way than doing nothing and regretting it afterward..
    Llyralen, tarmonk and Fru2 thanked this post.

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by tarmonk View Post
    I'd still suggest like always that just ask it directly from her and you'll get the answer (which ever it'll be) quickly, saving you time from scanning the hypothetical possibilities and feeling bad without reason :) It works regardless of our types :)

    It's perfectly fine to express it using different methods instead of making "big words" (I'm not good at this either) but be sure that the message is clear enough and shows what you expect. I can't speak for all ENFPs or even if it depends on type at all but I'd say staying silent and weighing all the options carefully before saying something so that you definitely don't hurt anybody is more like INFP thing (based on how I see my INFP friend differently from myself). If I was somebody's crush, I'd not hide it when I definitely didn't want to date her.

    Unfortunately in realw world people are not mind-readers and it's more effective to remove guessing from the path in order to get what you want or at least move closer to that :)
    Are ENFP's okay with people expressing their feelings directly to them? I don't want to put her on the spot you know?
    But I think you're right, staying silent and overthinking is definitely more an INFP thing :D So, if you knew somebody had a crush on you, you'd turn them down directly, right? Well, she hasn't done that yet..so I guess I still have a chance ^^
    Llyralen and tarmonk thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by ai.tran.75 View Post
    This isn't an enfp matter but an individual matter. There's a possibility that she doesn't know whether she likes you enough yet or that she only sees you as a friend but is flattered that you're interested in her, also having a crush on somebody doesn't necessarily means that you want to be with them/date them...
    What do you think ? Put yourself in her place- what would you do


    Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk
    Hmm yeah, I guess you're right...maybe she's just flattered - because she hasn't turned me down yet, but she also hasn't reciprocated when I "showed" her my feelings in some way..

    If I were her and somebody I didn't like that way had a crush on me, I'd probably avoid them if they started making any moves and turn them down eventually when things go too far for me. So, I guess she could only see the flowers and poem as a nice gesture, but nothing romantic..
    Llyralen thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by 3000egal View Post
    Are ENFP's okay with people expressing their feelings directly to them? I don't want to put her on the spot you know?
    But I think you're right, staying silent and overthinking is definitely more an INFP thing :D So, if you knew somebody had a crush on you, you'd turn them down directly, right? Well, she hasn't done that yet..so I guess I still have a chance ^^
    Yep, definitely would prefer if another person is clear about their expectations and hopes. I think I'm pretty bad at reading such signs out of somebody and when I was younger, never realized if anybody could be interested in me unless they showed it clearly :) So it might be the case for you too. And there's nothing wrong with being concrete - worst thing which could happen is that you get to know sooner if she has no interest in you or she does. Both options have only pros I guess :)

    Probably it doesn't work exactly that way for absolutely everyone but for some girls there is so called friendzone system too - if you wait too long without making your move, you become befriended before you get upgrade :)
    Llyralen thanked this post.

  10. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by tarmonk View Post
    Yep, definitely would prefer if another person is clear about their expectations and hopes. I think I'm pretty bad at reading such signs out of somebody and when I was younger, never realized if anybody could be interested in me unless they showed it clearly :) So it might be the case for you too. And there's nothing wrong with being concrete - worst thing which could happen is that you get to know sooner if she has no interest in you or she does. Both options have only pros I guess :)

    Probably it doesn't work exactly that way for absolutely everyone but for some girls there is so called friendzone system too - if you wait too long without making your move, you become befriended before you get upgrade :)
    Now that you say it, I think I noticed that my ENFP friends are the same - I always have to tell them when someone seems to like them a lot lol :D
    Thank you for your advice, I think I'll make my move soon - better than doing nothing, and who knows, maybe there really is still a chance she likes me back ^^
    ai.tran.75, Llyralen and tarmonk thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by 3000egal View Post
    Now that you say it, I think I noticed that my ENFP friends are the same - I always have to tell them when someone seems to like them a lot lol :D
    Thank you for your advice, I think I'll make my move soon - better than doing nothing, and who knows, maybe there really is still a chance she likes me back ^^
    Yeah, definitely do try as otherwise you have no chance anyway. You have nothing to lose and there's a chance that you "win" :)
    Llyralen thanked this post.


     
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