[ENFP] You As a Boss?

You As a Boss?

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This is a discussion on You As a Boss? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I've found myself recently for the first time as a "boss" in an official capacity. Where I'm not just supervising ...

  1. #1
    ENFP

    You As a Boss?

    I've found myself recently for the first time as a "boss" in an official capacity. Where I'm not just supervising an employee for other managers but in charge of hiring, supporting, disciplining, and (hopefully not) firing.

    How are you as a boss? Does your natural ENFP quirkiness and playfulness come out? Or do you have a professional persona that manifests? Maybe the responsibility makes your tougher, colder, or keep a professional distance?

    Interested in those of you who are/were managers and how you acted to your employees. Maybe some areas you wished you could have been different or better?
    tarmonk thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby View Post
    I've found myself recently for the first time as a "boss" in an official capacity. Where I'm not just supervising an employee for other managers but in charge of hiring, supporting, disciplining, and (hopefully not) firing.

    How are you as a boss? Does your natural ENFP quirkiness and playfulness come out? Or do you have a professional persona that manifests? Maybe the responsibility makes your tougher, colder, or keep a professional distance?

    Interested in those of you who are/were managers and how you acted to your employees. Maybe some areas you wished you could have been different or better?
    I fell in love with them and they fell in love with me as a result they were happy to do the things needed and I was happy to be there for them. It was a temporary position and a lovely group. It was too exhausting for me I would not be able to keep this up as a long term thing. Extroversion helps here I imagine.

  3. #3
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Tilia View Post
    I fell in love with them and they fell in love with me as a result they were happy to do the things needed and I was happy to be there for them. It was a temporary position and a lovely group. It was too exhausting for me I would not be able to keep this up as a long term thing. Extroversion helps here I imagine.
    I believe Extroversion is the main score on the (E/I) (N/T) (F/T) (P/J) scale that most benefits people in general in everyday life. To be extroverted is celebrated in many countries. Culture puts pressure on people to be extroverted and it does help. I have many introverted friends and have traditionally only dated introverted women and I see how in the public sphere they can get visibly nervous, uncomfortable, or drained. I feel bad for introverts.

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  5. #4
    INFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby View Post
    I believe Extroversion is the main score on the (E/I) (N/T) (F/T) (P/J) scale that most benefits people in general in everyday life. To be extroverted is celebrated in many countries. Culture puts pressure on people to be extroverted and it does help. I have many introverted friends and have traditionally only dated introverted women and I see how in the public sphere they can get visibly nervous, uncomfortable, or drained. I feel bad for introverts.
    We have it easier in other ways - such as living in a cave would be far more easier for an introverted person:) Or having to live in an Arctic base for four months with no company and many other situations live throws at you on daily basis:)
    Moby and tarmonk thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Tilia View Post
    We have it easier in other ways - such as living in a cave would be far more easier for an introverted person:) Or having to live in an Arctic base for four months with no company and many other situations live throws at you on daily basis:)
    Any (potential) joking aside, that's legitimately a great point.

    You INFJs are also outstanding at "doorslamming" me when I attempt to date you ;-)

  7. #6
    INFJ

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby View Post
    Any (potential) joking aside, that's legitimately a great point.

    You INFJs are also outstanding at "doorslamming" me when I attempt to date you ;-)
    And you ENFPs were the best university professor I ever had:)
    Moby thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP

    First - congrats! :) It's not coming to be easy but definitely interesting and challenging for you :)

    I'm not working as "boss" but do lead projects if there is anything bigger on the table. In past I've been team lead too.

    What I've noticed, some natural abilities do help here which I'm using (and which most likely apply for you too as much as I know about you :)

    * enthusiasm and keeping peoples morale high even in tough situations - even got compliment about that in my current very tough project which will complete soon.

    * playfulness and throwing in jokes. One girl in the project team said that it's good to be member of my team as everything seems so easygoing even if the situation is tense - no blaming each other, no focus on bad things.

    * it's quite easy to organize tasks and share them to people. Bonus: you don't have to deal with all boring details of the project by yourself - remember it's still inferior Si :P One guy even said I can assign even "bad tasks" which nobody wouldn't want to do (but somebody just has to) so that people would in overall still feel rather positive about that.

    * Fi+Te makes me somewhat cold/tough person when needed so when situation requires it, I have no problem to be "emotionally cold" and isolate myself from what external world expects us to feel - this is sometimes good for solutions in not so good situations. Same Fi+Te has no issues to apply a slight pressure to other people when needed. Though, in overall I always prefer diplomacy when possible. This Fi+Te part was more rough/harsh in the past but now much more "refined" and I can quite easily mask it so that it looks like diplomacy.

    * Ne of course :) You will almost not need to prepare much for tougher situations, meetings etc as when you start talking, it's more and more fluent like some higher force just puts right words in your mouth :) It often relaxes people. I always knew this "mode" existed but in my twenties didn't yet know how to conciously "summon" it :)

    * knowing differences of people so that you can organize suitable work for suitable people - ie for "big picture thinkers" you assign vague bigger tasks which have much space to think about solutions while detail-oriented person can be much better than yourself in monotonous repetitive tasks which could kill yourself :) I think some knowledge about MBTI helps a lot in such types of work as you just need to know what makes people different and makes it easier for you to adjust things according to that.

    Our downside is details (but those types of work sometimes just require dealing with them) and I somewhat suffered from that when I was younger - I never liked to create detailed or strict plans as it felt just pain in the ass. And project isn't called project for no reason - it always has vagueness so that why to create detailed plan when it changes often anyways, right :) This aspect though improves with age and experience so now it's not a big deal for me any more. And I started to realize at some point that plans could be useful as not every other person can see that big picture goal immediately - some people just need those details to complete their work.

    About your question if you have "proffesional persona" for that - nope, it's just who I am :) As you see, much of that above are just average ENFP traits and thinking patterns. One more advice: I don't know if that's your struggle at all but in past I sometimes made a mistake that I grabbed too much on my own shoulders - definitely do share more responsibilities with other people but communicate it clearly that now this is THEIR responsibility :)

    "You're hot and you're cold" - words from Katy Perry song if I remember them correctly :)
    Last edited by tarmonk; 06-05-2019 at 12:41 AM.
    Moby and Llyralen thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ENFP

    @tarmonk Thanks for the detailed and well-organized answers :)
    tarmonk thanked this post.

  10. #9
    ENFP

    Just adding a little bit - those things above probably wouldn't work very well in absolutely every area of job as for example in assembly lines, simple jobs without much knowledge needed etc people are quite different and might need different approach. For example one of my relatives leads production in furniture producement factory and says that nope, those people come to work only because they have to and not because they want to :) So they wouldn't even move themselves unless somebody controls them. But as I know your area of job is approx similar to mine, our natural abilities suit well there :)

  11. #10

    First, congrats! You will do great!

    It might not be really the same, but I do now spearhead a project and responsible with planning, recruiting and running papers. Everything, really. And some other things that I'm sort of a boss. What I noticed are:

    1. Enthusiasm and quirkiness motivate people.

    Enthusiasm and passion are contagious, you can't have enough. One of the best way to jointing different people is not to be what they wish to see (serious leader, kind and forgiving whatever) but be yourself, be passionate. It will guide people to you, right people.

    2. Be as harsh as you are kind.

    Leaders are harsh position. You are trusted by people to make the decision, the final decision. You might be quirky or kind or enthusiastic, but when you have to be harsh be like a storm. You must make tough call, tactical decision, without any regret. If you have to pull sword and fire employees, so be it. Reward with kindness and punish with ruthlessness.

    3. Be decisive.

    It's one of our Achilles heel. As Ne-dom, we tend to see both side of argument and that makes us question our decisions on daily basis. We need to tone this down. It's fine that you can't arrive at decision quickly, take time and ruminate only announced decision when it's really the final one. In the meeting and conference, you have every right to sit and ruminate on choices. People will understand and wait for your call.

    4. Our natural ability to see through people, use it.

    Sometimes, it's inevitable that our employees or teammates are turning against each other, or turn against us. It's our ability to 'know' where to put people and how to shift them to where every you want. It's a good skill. Another thing is our unpredictability will help making everything much more alive and everyone wonders "what he will do next".

    5. Never lose sight of who you are.

    Nothing to be said here, it's self explanatory.
    Llyralen, Moby and tarmonk thanked this post.


     
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