[ENFP] Do You/Have You Had Anger Issues?

Do You/Have You Had Anger Issues?

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This is a discussion on Do You/Have You Had Anger Issues? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I rarely get angry. I am angry today but is such a rarity that it is like a novelty for ...

  1. #1
    ENFP

    Do You/Have You Had Anger Issues?

    I rarely get angry. I am angry today but is such a rarity that it is like a novelty for me. However, I did know an ENFP guy through my twenties that would get angry and physical. He was pretty stocky and once punched a wooden door clean off its hinges.

    I think ENFPs can be emotionally turbulent, so I ask:

    Have you ever experience serious or "chronic" anger episodes?

    Are they resolved and how did you learn to control your temper?

    Do you experience other emotions instead (such as get sad instead of angry)?
    Llyralen and tarmonk thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Quote Originally Posted by Moby View Post
    I rarely get angry. I am angry today but is such a rarity that it is like a novelty for me. However, I did know an ENFP guy through my twenties that would get angry and physical. He was pretty stocky and once punched a wooden door clean off its hinges.

    I think ENFPs can be emotionally turbulent, so I ask:

    Have you ever experience serious or "chronic" anger episodes?

    Are they resolved and how did you learn to control your temper?

    Do you experience other emotions instead (such as get sad instead of angry)?
    No. I think angry would be one of the last words anyone would think of when they think of me, however I definitely can get angry. I used to get ticked off when I was a manager and knew people were trying to get away with crap but I didn't know how to address it. I'd be driving to work trying to think of how to deal with the common every day "get away with it" junk that especially SPs love to try to do. lol.

    Somebody told me once that when you get angry at other people you're really just angry at yourself. I kind of ask myself if this is true every time I get mad, and a lot of the time it is true. It always brings me right down to earth. I can't remember who told me this, but I'm grateful for them.

    Like the whole "getting away with it" stuff, I was really just frustrated that I didn't know how to deal with it.

  3. #3
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by Llyralen View Post
    Like the whole "getting away with it" stuff, I was really just frustrated that I didn't know how to deal with it.
    That's usually what does it for me. A perception that people are knowingly cheating others, or lying, or trying to needlessly hurt or abuse others.
    Llyralen thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I used to be very sensitive about everything and could not take any kind of criticism. I sort of outgrew that with joining these forums and going on Olanzepine after a hospital psyche visit. Now most of my emotions are positive or empty.

    I don't think I would say I was a super angry person though as I care a lot about what others think and don't like to hurt peoples feelings. Someone accused me of being spineless recently because I hold back from telling people what I really think. I don't like drama and I'm scared if I stand up for myself, I won't have any friends. Ironically, I don't really have that many friends.
    Moby thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENFP

    Quote Originally Posted by chickydoda View Post
    I used to be very sensitive about everything and could not take any kind of criticism. I sort of outgrew that with joining these forums and going on Olanzepine after a hospital psyche visit. Now most of my emotions are positive or empty.

    I don't think I would say I was a super angry person though as I care a lot about what others think and don't like to hurt peoples feelings. Someone accused me of being spineless recently because I hold back from telling people what I really think. I don't like drama and I'm scared if I stand up for myself, I won't have any friends. Ironically, I don't really have that many friends.
    Easier said than done but standing up to people will gain you respect overall. I dated an INTJ (you might see her mentioned around PerC) last month. Yesterday she came back to me because she wanted to join a MBTI group I co-host in Vancouver and I stood up to her ghosting me before planning our second date. She was frustrated I was unwilling to be friends after all her crap, but her last words before we parted ways was that she respected me.

    That's my point. Standing up for yourself will build respect, like karma, it will build. And as it comes, friends will come too. Just watch, the universe rewards such assertiveness.
    chickydoda thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENFP

    I had that issue in past (approx 15 years ago). Even thought about anger management those times. It was mainly due to relationship issues + high stress at work (and maybe unsuitable work for me too) and I was depressed for some time. Those circumstances have passed and with age and experience I've became less turbulent and calmer person. Nowadays I get angry rather rarely and sometimes I do experience more like frustration instead of anger.

  8. #7

    I was a raging kid. I kicked and threw stones and broke windows..quite a few times.
    It appears sometimes to day (not the breaking things part, just, irritation xD) but that's mostly only in table tennis if I repeatedly make silly mistakes. (like stamping the floor or yelling) but that's not so unusual even among pros rofl

    So pretty content with my growth in that area. I'm sort of also a eneagram 7, so sometimes I 'optimistically overlook my anger inside' however, I do know that if I'm pushed too far (which has not happened in years) I'll rage and get violent again. For better or worse. (24now)

    Like I sort of did in my 17/18s, funny storry (no not really), he owed me like 40usd and he'd been telling me he'll pay everyday. For like.. months. And it was closing in on end of university. So I decided to sit on his (an African guys) chair and desk. So I intruded 'his territory' and he started to get way more aggressive and tell me to fuck off his chair and stuff and after a few mins he basically test punched me and that was it.. I remember pushing the chair at him and smashing another one into his side. I was so pissed. Well and then the 'big guy' in class butted in so we stopped.

    But yeah, last year's I've been pretty calm, worked on growing myself so my quota is definitely raised, and I handle constructive criticism way better than I did before. Because I'm aware of the difference now.
    But well, anger issues is something that needs some serious growth and concious effort to overcome entirely.

    Sent from my SM-G930F using Tapatalk


     

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