[ENFP] INTJ-What happens when I become unmysterious? - Page 6

INTJ-What happens when I become unmysterious?

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This is a discussion on INTJ-What happens when I become unmysterious? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Falling Foxes Is this not something that bothers everyone? Being misunderstood? People assuming that you mean something ...

  1. #51

    Quote Originally Posted by Falling Foxes View Post
    Is this not something that bothers everyone? Being misunderstood? People assuming that you mean something that you don't mean and using that to inform how they communicate or act despite it being incorrect?

    I am actually baffled by the idea that people are okay with their words being misrepresented.

    Like maybe it's more strongly an ENFP thing because we have strong values and if someone assumes that our values aren't what they actually are then it is a direct attack of our character. We value authenticity.
    (I'm not sure about all INTJs) I don't become bothered by the miscommunication unless it becomes a repetitive task. If someone asks me if I'm upset and I state no, then I'm not upset. If someone asks me over and over again if I'm upset, then I become frustrated at the other person's inability to believe me and then will become upset. I first try to express if the intention of the other person was meant to be harmful.

    I don't think either way is wrong or right.

    I do admit one of the reasons I love my ENFP is her ability to love me for my authenticity and that she values my input and doesn't wish it to change. She was the first person outside of my family to treat me like a human being. I value the authentic approach that ENFPs have. I've never met any other ENFPs outside of her in my environment. It was a very refreshing quality.

    I also think ENFPs have a strong sense of value on self-control and don't really like it when other's control them (bending their words). I noticed this behavior also in INFPs. It seems to be even stronger in INFPs. One INFP had an almost meltdown in the INTJ section because we were asking him to clarify his meaning.

    Quote Originally Posted by NIHM View Post
    Last edited by solarnis; 02-14-2020 at 10:04 AM.
    NIHM and Falling Foxes thanked this post.

  2. #52

    Quote Originally Posted by solarnis View Post
    (I'm not sure about all INTJs) I don't become bothered by the miscommunication unless it becomes a repetitive task. If someone asks me if I'm upset and I state no, then I'm not upset. If someone asks me over and over again if I'm upset, then I become frustrated at the other person's inability to believe me and then will become upset. I first try to express if the intention of the other person was meant to be harmful.

    I don't think either way is wrong or right.

    I do admit one of the reasons I love my ENFP is her ability to love me for my authenticity and that she values my input and doesn't wish it to change. She was the first person outside of my family to treat me like a human being. I value the authentic approach that ENFPs have. I've never met any other ENFPs outside of her in my environment. It was a very refreshing quality.

    I also think ENFPs have a strong sense of value on self-control and don't really like it when other's control them (bending their words). I noticed this behavior also in INFPs. It seems to be even stronger in INFPs. One INFP had an almost meltdown in the INTJ section because we were asking him to clarify his meaning.
    Okay, you mention people asking if you are okay and you being fine is something I realise I might overreact to... Like overreacting to people assuming my morals are something else seems completely reasonable. As you can tell with the conversation with ENFPathetic where we were both doing that to one another. :P

    But I have one particular friend who asks me "is something wrong?" and it kind of feels intrusive? Offensive? I don't know what word to use to describe it... I might have less patience with this one particular friend though as he does this a lot. I think after knowing me for so long and what I would say was fairly intimately I kind of would have hoped that when he suspects something is wrong then he should be on the mark with it. But he's not. I guess it also upsets me the idea that I might be projecting a vibe that isn't me? Not something to be angry with them about but it's distressing... maybe I have unresolved emotions that I haven't noticed, I like to think I am aware of my emotions though.

    I guess another layer of why it upsets me is because I think he asks these questions because I haven't jumped through the appropriate hoops of being a good dedicated friend like messaging him online as soon as he does... I think I'm getting off topic...

    Most of the time I don't like when people infer that I am feeling something or believe something because it feels manipulative as if just telling me that I am feeling or believing something would make it true.

    I don't think this is a common occurrence though. I think most of the time my messages aren't misconstrued and people can read my emotions well enough so that when it does happen it's more hurtful? When my messages are misconstrued it's mostly a fight or flight response...


  3. #53

    Quote Originally Posted by Falling Foxes View Post
    @ENFPathetic
    I really have no interest in arguing with you further. It seems whatever I say it gets taken to another extreme that I don't mean and you seem pretty hurt so I'll just leave it at that.

    And I'm sorry I misinterpreted your words.
    You're alright man. Like I said before, I don't think you have any malice in mind. Almost everyone likes to manipulate whatever they can get away with manipulating. It's almost instinctive. I'm glad you understand you were wrong and now you know where the line is in the sand. Peace.


     
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