[ENFP] ENFP/INFP confused and ambivalent about reading another ENFP

ENFP/INFP confused and ambivalent about reading another ENFP

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  • 1 Post By Tridentus
  • 2 Post By chimeric

This is a discussion on ENFP/INFP confused and ambivalent about reading another ENFP within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    ENFP/INFP confused and ambivalent about reading another ENFP

    Hi everyone! This will be my first post ever since discovering the magic that is MBTI.
    First of all, I want to apologize for the hectic thread title, this situation of mine is driving me absolutely insane. I've taken a few tests and I always either turn up as an ENFP or INFP, I think I'm more of an INFP now as I've hit my late 20's. After many tumultuous relationships I've also become somewhat guarded. At least in aspects of Ďfalling in love.í It doesn't help that I've lived in NYC for the past 3 years. Oh how the city sometimes fuels my crazies.

    About me: Late 20's professional guy (straddling the ENFP/INFP realms i guess?). I dated around a little too much in undergrad, and was always left bored and unsatisfied after a while. What I would do for a pretty face. I am still dating now, but itís always on a non-serious basis.
    About her: Same age professional gal (Definite ENFP) with similar young life experiences.

    About us: We met in graduate school and were instantly close. We never dated, but did the whole ENFP dance -- late nights, endless conversations, discovering the world, and of course, instant understanding. I graduated and moved to NYC and she moved to a different city where she continued to date around. We kept in touch over the 1.5 years we were apart. Sheís recently moved to NY and the reunion picked right where we left it. Instant understanding part deux. I always felt comfortable and relieved to have a friend who really understood me. I thought I had similiar connections before, but sometimes people mistook it for affection and wanted more :(

    As Iím writing this, weíve known eachother for about 5 years in total. I was extremely busy with work this year so didnít have a chance to fly home for the holidays. She called of course and suggested I join her family in upstate. I accepted thinking nothing of it, I was just going to a really good friends house. Right? The faimly was nice and I had a really great time, I could see how she turned out to be an ENFP (some real palpable connections there, although I tend to over-romanticize in my mind). I felt an attraction to the family, but didnít think of it much.

    Apparently the family were really keen on me. She has since started to joke about how her grandparents, parents, and siblings wish for us to be together, even suggesting marriage. I wasnít freaked out these comments, they were really good people. Plus it was flattering to hear that she was so happy that she brought someone home that everyone liked.

    Like in school days, she always calls to hang out after work, but here is whatís different. Sheís started to show physical síoí affection and it has me extremely confused. I usually try to reason why sheís doing this, ĎOh sheís just really happy to see a friendí

    But when she started to caress my face and kiss me (just on the face), I couldnít put any sort of logic to it.
    Now whenever itís just us together, she likes to hold me and kiss me. I donít reciprocate because honestly, Iím not 100% sure on what Iím feeling. The emotional connection is strong as ever, but with my past relationships blowing up in my face.. iím very weary. Also why risk an already great connection.

    The last time I dropped her off she held and kissed me. She let go as the traffic behind us started honking. I slipped her a little gift for the holidays and she had this very peculiar look on her face. As I droe off she sent the ĎUr the bestí text and Iím starting to feel a soft spot for her. Am I reading another ENFP all wrong? Have I become that jaded am I seeing something that's not there? I think I would go for it if I had some inkling on her feeling

    Thanks for reading all the way through. Itís Friday and rehashing these feelings has turned me into a typing fiend



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    sure sounds to me like she's interested..

    sometimes when i'm feeling really close to someone i tend to just express my inner affections for someone through touch, and i don't really think about it. i just feel the feelings and feel the urge to be affectionate.. i'll kiss girls on the forehead or nose, or spontaneously hold their hand if i feel like it and the moment's right, and sometimes i don't really think past the in-the-moment feeling of closeness, it's just an impulsive urge. sometimes it isn't with a love interest but a friend, yet i'd say there's always got to be some chemistry there for me to feel so affectionate.

    i'm younger than you are so you might decide to take this with a pinch of salt, but i know some about how drama from previous relationships can make you wary, and after a build up of such experiences i can imagine how that's causing you to look at things differently, but it definitely sounds like she feels something toward you- it does just reminds me of those moments where i just feel the urge in the moment, and if that's true those urges must be coming from some basis of feelings, whether she may or may not have made a conscious assertion to herself about her attraction for you.

    it sounds to me like a situation where if you both happen to want it, it will happen eventually.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Love's a gamble, but life would be stupid and boring without throwing caution to the winds from time to time.
    Belovodia and yaki88 thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Tridentus View Post
    sure sounds to me like she's interested..

    sometimes when i'm feeling really close to someone i tend to just express my inner affections for someone through touch, and i don't really think about it. i just feel the feelings and feel the urge to be affectionate.. i'll kiss girls on the forehead or nose, or spontaneously hold their hand if i feel like it and the moment's right, and sometimes i don't really think past the in-the-moment feeling of closeness, it's just an impulsive urge. sometimes it isn't with a love interest but a friend, yet i'd say there's always got to be some chemistry there for me to feel so affectionate.

    i'm younger than you are so you might decide to take this with a pinch of salt, but i know some about how drama from previous relationships can make you wary, and after a build up of such experiences i can imagine how that's causing you to look at things differently, but it definitely sounds like she feels something toward you- it does just reminds me of those moments where i just feel the urge in the moment, and if that's true those urges must be coming from some basis of feelings, whether she may or may not have made a conscious assertion to herself about her attraction for you.

    it sounds to me like a situation where if you both happen to want it, it will happen eventually.
    Quote Originally Posted by chimeric View Post
    Love's a gamble, but life would be stupid and boring without throwing caution to the winds from time to time.
    Thanks for the input both of you! It's going well (at least I feel it is) and I couldn't be happier. Actually I found myself feeling the moment as Tridentus had described it.. I have no idea why i was overthinking everything that day!


 

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