[ENFP] lack of explantion so lack of confidence~??

lack of explantion so lack of confidence~??

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This is a discussion on lack of explantion so lack of confidence~?? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Do you ever find that you feel a certain way and can't explain it so you start to doubt your ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    lack of explantion so lack of confidence~??

    Do you ever find that you feel a certain way and can't explain it so you start to doubt your own thoguhts, opinions ect~??

    for example, sometimes i'll hears some different things about a controversial topic, and read some articles, hear different opinions and think~ 'This is how i feel~'
    this when you discuss it with somone (well maybe not a really controversial one~ unless u know them well~)
    i say~ "I think that xx~" and they say~ "I completely disagree~!" and tehy give stupid reasoning that i don't like but am too polite to attack and when they ask me I can't explain because i don't remember why, i just know that that's how i feel~

    sometimes i'll also feel a certain way about someone like "XX make me feel uncomfortable~" but i don't really know why, it's just a feeling~ i often find i can't put things into the right words, especially in my mind, and when i can't even explain it to myself to show that it's not just my mind being ridculous i start to doubt everthing i think~

    do you ever find you can't get any confidence in ur opinions to even voice somethings because you just don't know urself~?? please let me no~
    Ace Face and All in Twilight thanked this post.

  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Regarding impressions of people - all the time, but I don't think it is a lack of confidence thing, but the lack of putting your intuitions and feelings into words. ENFP's are probably the best at reading body language. Often a glance after meeting someone is enough for your intuition to give you an impression of discomfort or distrust.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    When you say "this is how it makes me feel", that is Fi-reasoning. You Te and Si however are not able to keep up with your Fi and that is why you are having such a hard time understanding your thoughts and explaining yourself.

    So next time when you have formed your opinion about something, try to figure out why you have formed this particular opinion and how you arrived at your conclusion. It's a matter of taking your time and focus. And then you can start a conversation with other people.
    Or even better, try organizing your thoughts right there when you are reading something or watching someone. And if you're not sure about something, then don't form an opinion and just ask questions instead. That way you will never look stupid.

    Don't worry too much about this, it will get better. And keeping these conversations going with other people can only make us grow so keep voicing your opinions and see it as practice.

    Last edited by All in Twilight; 01-27-2013 at 11:47 AM. Reason: typo
    KerryLee, fguewriter and Aya the Abysswalker thanked this post.

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  5. #4

    I have confidence in my opinions even if I can't remember every fact that led me to that conclusion. For the most part though, I've got my ducks in a row. I like knowing exactly why I believe what I believe, but I also know that there could be pieces to the puzzle that I am missing; therefore, my opinions are subject to change. Anyways, for most people, debates are about egos. Most people you'll debate with in your life don't even really care about the facts you could toss out there. They just want to feel like they're right instead of realizing how completely foolish it is to be so closed-minded. Opinions should be subject to change as new information is gathered. Unfortunately, that's not how most people operate. Most people are going to believe what they want to believe despite the hard facts when you get right down to it. Sad, but true. Somehow stagnancy has taken priority over personal growth and evolution. Anyways, what I'm basically saying is that you don't have to feel bad because realistically, most people you could debate with don't really care about what you have to say anyway. Again, sad, but true.

    Another thing... don't be afraid to try to hold your own. People don't grow and learn through victories; they grow and learn from failures. I enjoy the valley more than I enjoy the mountain top. You learn more down there. Put yourself out there in that debate. Even if you end up walking away in defeat, there is plenty you can take away from it. Keep an open mind... listen to what others have to say. Being wrong is not the end of the world, I promise. It helps you grow and makes you more knowledgeable :) It's not about confidence, chica. It's about growth, knowledge, and wisdom.
    fguewriter thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    i think i used to be like this.. more recently, since i've entered my twenties really, not so much. i think i'm more careful about what i express opinions on these days, and try to make sure i know what i'm talking about.
    fguewriter thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    This happens to me ALL THE TIME!! Not the confidence in what I feel/believe/think as I often feel very strongly and want to express myself passionately. But I can never quite put it into words and so ridiculously often end up waffling like a baffoon and making not much sense at all. I always see it as my brain takes in all the information, all the details/facts etc and forms a thought or a sense of the overall feel or what-have-you, and in that instant collective result, all the facts and details are junked and I have no way of retrieving them to answer the questions someone might have as to why or how I came to that conclusion. Does that make any sense?? Ha! see how I am incapable of putting how I feel into coherent sentences!
    I hate it when I get a bad vibe from someone, I just plain don't like them or they make me uneasy and I have absolutely no way of expressing why. It's worse when they appear on the surface to be perfectly nice and pleasant and you have to make yourself look stupid when saying to someone you dont like them! Or say nothing, pretend and just fight with yourself because you wonder if you're being unreasonable judging someone on absolutely no evidence what so ever... and yet the unpleasant vibe is there all the while making you feel ill.
    Guess its the wood for the trees thing.... I keep seeing the forest, I have a lot to say about the forest, but I couldnt tell you squat about the trees!
    fguewriter thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    The explanation- You are a perceiver, and like to know all the facts/opinions/sides before you give an opinion, and because you are always collecting data, you'll never be 100% sure of your belief. This is normal!
    fguewriter thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    @Ace Face :-D
    fguewriter, Ace Face and Finaille thanked this post.

  10. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by honeychanbunny View Post
    Do you ever find that you feel a certain way and can't explain it so you start to doubt your own thoguhts, opinions ect~??
    I have - when talking to more NT folks. I'm high empathy, so I can feel that my normal ENFP way of sparkling energy structures doesn't work for them. Which makes for a negative feedback loop. I have one INTJ friend - Catherine - who can totally talk free-associationally, and one day when she and I hit The Zone with her INTJ boyfriend there he said amiably he "hated it" and that it sounded like nonsense - but for us, we covered a great deal of ground very rapidly and economically - and it wasn't about anything foofoo: it was about professional versus citizen juries in Europe!

    Inside me, though, I don't worry about it at all. I know my resources.
    KerryLee and honeychanbunny thanked this post.

  11. #10

    I hardly have this any more, I used to when I was yourself, but I trust my feelings and I believe that everything has explanation, something that you cannot explain but you feel comfortable about might come from a childhood memory that your brain has repressed or your brain cannot remember because it's too old (the brain "forgets" older memories to give space to new ones). You might be able to voice the reason for some other reason, but here is always a reason.

    I do have a hard time speaking to some types, but not always T types, INFJs is one of those types I cannot totally get along with because they think they're always right and do not accept new or different points of view. ISTJ is another of those types, because they cannot understand how speak and why I hype so much over simple things of life like having my favourite meal for lunch.

    Though I trust my feelings, I doubt and believe like everyone else. I keep my brain open to be prove wrong.
    KerryLee and fguewriter thanked this post.

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