[ENFP] ENFP and self-esteem

ENFP and self-esteem

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This is a discussion on ENFP and self-esteem within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Hello hello! So I was just curious how other ENFPs see themselves. I used to have extremely low self-esteem (not ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    ENFP and self-esteem

    Hello hello! So I was just curious how other ENFPs see themselves. I used to have extremely low self-esteem (not that I'm attributing that to be merely because I am an ENFP), but it's definitely on the rise. Anyway, I still find myself getting a bit intimidated by other people, especially thinking types. Is this common for any of you? I know I can hold my own in a conversation (depending on the topic, of course), but nevertheless, I end up feeling sort of self-conscious or/and self-critical and what ends up happening is a self-fulfilling prophecy where I actually don't have anything to say because I think everything I want to say sounds stupid.

    Hahaha now that I'm re-reading this before posting I can't help but think this is more of a personal self-esteem issue than an ENFP one.

    I'm still curious to see if any of you have experienced something similar, though! If you do have high confidence, tips for how you get it would be appreciated, also!

    :)
    Last edited by Azullade; 03-01-2013 at 11:41 PM.
    fguewriter, kareem, tonguetiedriver and 1 others thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I've had problems with self-esteem issues ever since I can remember. It actually interferes with my relationships quite a bit. For example, I may ignore a person's message simply because I'm tired and I figure it won't matter to them if I don't respond. Then when they get hurt that I didn't respond, it confuses me, because I figured no one cared. :p

    I doubt self-esteem has anything to do with personality type, though.

    Why do you feel self-conscious, do you think?

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by TasticallyFab View Post
    I've had problems with self-esteem issues ever since I can remember. It actually interferes with my relationships quite a bit. For example, I may ignore a person's message simply because I'm tired and I figure it won't matter to them if I don't respond. Then when they get hurt that I didn't respond, it confuses me, because I figured no one cared. :p

    I doubt self-esteem has anything to do with personality type, though.

    Why do you feel self-conscious, do you think?


    hahaha first I must say I have been told more than once that I do a pretty good Chip impersonation, that quote in particular lol

    But yesssss, something like that happened to me to. TBH, I still don't think people care, but that has less to do with self-esteem and more to do with what I've observed in general. People, including myself, are more interested in their own lives. Which, you know.. *shrugs* whatever lol

    I actually know exactly what I feel self-conscious about.. my intellect. I often base my actions on feelings rather than reason and so during a conversation or in a debate I feel like I make irrelevent arguments or stupid remarks. I do want to keep developing my logic, though, so I try to force myself to speak up in certain situations. It's proven to be more difficult than I expected, especially in class.. some people are so knowledgable!!

    Do you think age has something to do with it? I'm 21. Don't know if that's too old for these problems or just the right age.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    I'm very self-conscious about my intellect. I don't have a good memory for details, and Ne leads to breadth more than depth. So I'll engage someone in a topic I know a few things about, skim the surface like a little waterbug, hope that I don't screw up noticeably, and then feel terrible when/if I do.

    Fortunately, I'm intelligent enough to realize where I'm ignorant, which is half the battle? I sound smarter online because I can look things up. ;)

    For what it's worth, I'm older than you.
    Danse Macabre, fguewriter and Azullade thanked this post.

  6. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    hahaha I am sorry but the waterbug metaphor is soooo cute!!!

    I have been trying to read more, which is easy because I love to read anyway (the problem now is that I have 8 new books screaming my name and I am tempted to start all of them simultaneously). I hear that helps with the intellect lol maybe not, either way I enjoy it.

    If acknowledging ignorance is half the battle then there is hope :D

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Quote Originally Posted by cguevara1885 View Post
    (the problem now is that I have 8 new books screaming my name and I am tempted to start all of them simultaneously).
    It happens... Which books, out of curiosity?

    Quote Originally Posted by cguevara1885 View Post
    If acknowledging ignorance is half the battle then there is hope :D
    That's the line I use to reassure myself, at least. ;)

  8. #7
    Unknown Personality

    Hmm, I also think it's a personal rather than ENFP thing, but I also have self-esteem issues that I'm trying to overcome. I'd be doing something, and suddenly, I get so self conscious. Sometimes, it turns into a lot of anxiety and paranoia It's not always my intellect that I become self conscious about though. Sometimes it's just "Am I making this person uncomfortable?" or a general "Is there something wrong with me?"

  9. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by chimeric View Post
    It happens... Which books, out of curiosity?
    Nausea
    Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs
    Seven Pillars of Wisdom
    The Shock Doctrine
    Choke
    The Better Angels of Our Nature
    The Brothers Karamazov
    Ender's Game

    Those are the one's I recently purchased. I'm currently reading Outliers, the second book in the Game of Thrones series, American Psycho, and The Dharma Bums


    Do you have any suggestions on good books ??

  10. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffrey the Giraffe View Post
    Hmm, I also think it's a personal rather than ENFP thing, but I also have self-esteem issues that I'm trying to overcome. I'd be doing something, and suddenly, I get so self conscious. Sometimes, it turns into a lot of anxiety and paranoia It's not always my intellect that I become self conscious about though. Sometimes it's just "Am I making this person uncomfortable?" or a general "Is there something wrong with me?"

    I find it interesting that you mentioned paranoia. I feel that often times too. Sometimes it's to the extent that I think everyone has a hidden agenda (which is, no doubt, working against me). That extreme mostly only occurs when I'm pretty baked though...

    I agree, I try to make people feel as comfortable as possible around me. It's a priority!

    When do you feel like there's something wrong with you? What makes you feel that way?
    Jeffrey the Giraffe thanked this post.

  11. #10
    Unknown Personality

    Quote Originally Posted by cguevara1885 View Post
    I find it interesting that you mentioned paranoia. I feel that often times too. Sometimes it's to the extent that I think everyone has a hidden agenda (which is, no doubt, working against me). That extreme mostly only occurs when I'm pretty baked though...

    I agree, I try to make people feel as comfortable as possible around me. It's a priority!

    When do you feel like there's something wrong with you? What makes you feel that way?

    I'm not completely sure. As a kid, I used to be really (overly) chatty. I got punished quite a bit from it (from teachers and parents), so I think that sometimes I feel like I'm talking too much and making the person I'm talking to uncomfortable that way. I'd be talking to someone, and suddenly, I feel become really self-conscious and aware that I might be dominating the conversation a little bit. So I get nervous and back off a lot. It's kind of silly because many of my friends actually get confused when I start becoming slightly mute. Yet despite the evidence, I stay mostly silent, encouraging the other to talk more until the feeling passes.


     
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