[ENFP] ENFPs and manipulation of others

ENFPs and manipulation of others

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This is a discussion on ENFPs and manipulation of others within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Being intuitive feelers you guys are good at being able to manipulate others. What do you think about this and ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality


    ENFPs and manipulation of others

    Being intuitive feelers you guys are good at being able to manipulate others.

    What do you think about this and when would you use it? Are you always aware that you do?



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I'm gonna echo what another user said in a thread similar to this in an INFJ thread I read a while ago - All people are manipulative. How we do it, irrelevant. We manipulate our surroundings, ourselves and each others. It is the connotations we put on said manipulation that matter - the unspoken rules for which it is acceptable versus unacceptable. We've got terms for this - liar, dishonest, etc.

    Can NF's have a penchant for being better at directly manipulating people through relation and emotional connection? Yes. Is it such a bad thing? Not at all - it depends on the level of awareness and maturity of said individual. I've met quite a few snakey, negatively manipulative SF's, too. And NT's. Even a couple ST's. Are you harming anyone? Yes? Bad. Are you harming yourself? Yes? Bad. Could this harm anyone? Yes? Bad. Could it harm you? Yes? Bad.

    Pretty much that.

  3. #3
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Lilyanith View Post
    I'm gonna echo what another user said in a thread similar to this in an INFJ thread I read a while ago - All people are manipulative. How we do it, irrelevant. We manipulate our surroundings, ourselves and each others. It is the connotations we put on said manipulation that matter - the unspoken rules for which it is acceptable versus unacceptable. We've got terms for this - liar, dishonest, etc.

    Can NF's have a penchant for being better at directly manipulating people through relation and emotional connection? Yes. Is it such a bad thing? Not at all - it depends on the level of awareness and maturity of said individual. I've met quite a few snakey, negatively manipulative SF's, too. And NT's. Even a couple ST's. Are you harming anyone? Yes? Bad. Are you harming yourself? Yes? Bad. Could this harm anyone? Yes? Bad. Could it harm you? Yes? Bad.

    Pretty much that.
    The bold part was pretty much my question - when is it OK.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperSoaker View Post
    The bold part was pretty much my question - when is it OK.
    I was arguing that I find the approach faulty in that it is because we're iNtuitive Feelers. I think that, universally speaking, what benefits ourselves AND others is the most logical approach to manipulation if we are balanced individuals, but hell - shit is so largely subjective. You can ask any user this, despite type. I'd rather have seen the question posed as, "As an iNtuitive Feeler, what is manipulation to you? When do you feel manipulation is ok? When do you feel it isn't?"

    Just because someone's ENFP, INFJ - doesn't mean they're good an manipulation, either. :/ It's just a hugely unfair bias. Seriously, I'd rather see that connotation directed at some trollish ENTP or INTJ - who have equal the ability, or, as I said before, every other type.
    SuperSoaker thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by Lilyanith View Post
    I was arguing that I find the approach faulty in that it is because we're iNtuitive Feelers. I think that, universally speaking, what benefits ourselves AND others is the most logical approach to manipulation if we are balanced individuals, but hell - shit is so largely subjective. You can ask any user this, despite type. I'd rather have seen the question posed as, "As an iNtuitive Feeler, what is manipulation to you? When do you feel manipulation is ok? When do you feel it isn't?"

    Just because someone's ENFP, INFJ - doesn't mean they're good an manipulation, either. :/ It's just a hugely unfair bias. Seriously, I'd rather see that connotation directed at some trollish ENTP or INTJ - who have equal the ability, or, as I said before, every other type.
    I think it's just miscommunication. I mean what you write
    Lilyanith thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Unknown Personality

    Over the years I have seen a lot of discussion on the topic on ENFPs being manipulative, especially between ENTPs and ENFPs.

    It seems that when we are young, we can be very manipulative, but it isnt really conscious or planned very well, as a Ti user would plan-we simply mold to the other person, then adapt to fit thier needs and then we sort of shift into thier emotional space-a bit of a probe to develop a feel for what they need? We will actually reach out with Ne and actualy explore ideas, influence others, never really becing conscious of our own motives or needs-it just feels like a scratch to be itched, so to speak, which as we scratch, we influence. There is an interesting innocence to this activity as it isnt pre-mediated, more reflexive in nature...it feels very fluid. We are simply being sweet? It doesnt feel like you are causing hurt or actively trying to make the other person do something-you simply are and they respond to that.

    As we get older, we become more aware of the ability to influence and manipulate and different enfps will use this ability in different ways based upon thier values.

    I actively influence my customers for instance-I want them to feel secure that I have thier best interest at heart. However it is a sincere, authentic value I hold, thus it is very easy to come across as honest and this works to shift customer perspective. Since I am sincere in my values towards them, and I take action on thier behalf, I am okay influencing them. But I could not consciously manipulate another person in a way that would hurt them or not be in thier best interest-it feels horribly disgusting. Lol, I wouldnt even be any good at it, since it would make me feel bad and I would then come across as hollow or fake.
    chimeric, shedreamt, SuperSoaker and 2 others thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by register View Post
    I am okay influencing them.
    Quote Originally Posted by register View Post
    I would then come across as hollow or fake.
    Quote Originally Posted by register View Post
    It feels horribly disgusting.
    When you are being hollow and fake do you find that this disgusting feeling comes more often in a particular type of situation compared to others?

  9. #8

    I never use it when I'm aware. If I'm aware I'm going to manipulate someone I simply don't.
    SuperSoaker thanked this post.

  10. #9

    The only time I manipulate is when I'm working, advertisement & PR the job is manipulation. I'm using my "powers" to sell.
    Do I ever manipulate outside of work, not these days no. Because at the end of the day, when I get what I want without detours its valued much more. And I dont ever want to look into the mirror and not like what I see. Growing up I used manipulation and life taught me some wicked lessons. Manipulation is usually a power tool, so even though ENFPs have the power, doesnt mean we need to use it. We don't struggle for power.
    shedreamt, SuperSoaker and RandomPersonified thanked this post.

  11. #10
    Unknown Personality


    Quote Originally Posted by register View Post
    Over the years I have seen a lot of discussion on the topic on ENFPs being manipulative, especially between ENTPs and ENFPs.

    It seems that when we are young, we can be very manipulative, but it isnt really conscious or planned very well, as a Ti user would plan-we simply mold to the other person, then adapt to fit thier needs and then we sort of shift into thier emotional space-a bit of a probe to develop a feel for what they need? We will actually reach out with Ne and actualy explore ideas, influence others, never really becing conscious of our own motives or needs-it just feels like a scratch to be itched, so to speak, which as we scratch, we influence. There is an interesting innocence to this activity as it isnt pre-mediated, more reflexive in nature...it feels very fluid. We are simply being sweet? It doesnt feel like you are causing hurt or actively trying to make the other person do something-you simply are and they respond to that.

    As we get older, we become more aware of the ability to influence and manipulate and different enfps will use this ability in different ways based upon thier values.

    I actively influence my customers for instance-I want them to feel secure that I have thier best interest at heart. However it is a sincere, authentic value I hold, thus it is very easy to come across as honest and this works to shift customer perspective. Since I am sincere in my values towards them, and I take action on thier behalf, I am okay influencing them. But I could not consciously manipulate another person in a way that would hurt them or not be in thier best interest-it feels horribly disgusting. Lol, I wouldnt even be any good at it, since it would make me feel bad and I would then come across as hollow or fake.
    Thank you, that makes sense to me.

    By "shift into thier emotional space-a bit of a probe to develop a feel for what they need?" do you mean that you put yourself in their shoes with all of the context you have on that person and then start doing stuff to see what reactions you get and ask things to see if it makes sense?
    JusticeTaylor thanked this post.


     
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