[ENFP] Strong Desire to be a Parent. - Page 2

Strong Desire to be a Parent.

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This is a discussion on Strong Desire to be a Parent. within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Originally Posted by Big bad wolf Oh, this one definitely has me written all over it. Since I hit about ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by Big bad wolf View Post
    Oh, this one definitely has me written all over it. Since I hit about twenty-six, I've wanted little more than to be a father/father figure. I love children! Even with all my anger problems with adults, a kid can bite, scratch, punch, and kick me to death, and get no reaction out of me. I have an infinite amount of patience for them. It's kind of odd, because I wasn't a big fan of the idea of being a dad, when I was younger. The experience of dating women with kids, might have helped to change it. The majority of women in my age dating range, who are single without chlidren, were/are career women, and wouldn't want a chronic underachiever like me, and I understand that. I usually end up dating single moms and spending more time with the kids, than them. The sucky part is when the relationship falls apart, my heart gets broken all that many times more. Actually, I take the heart break of losing the kids harder than losing their moms. lol My most precious memories will always be the times I spent with their kids. I would say maybe it was me wanting to rescue myself, figuratively, as a kid, but nah. I just love kids. However, it sucks being a guy, in this society, and loving kids. The damn news has everyone so worried that all men who so much as stare at a kid are pedophiles, that I'm afraid to even smile and wave, when they look at me, but it's almost just instinct. It's not exactly manly to go, "Awww!! ZOMG!! Cute wittle baby!!", either. I hate that people think men can't be nurturing. Still, around the holidays, it depresses me, that I don't have kids to share it with. Holiday celebrations were made for kids. I did luck out the last fourth of July, though. There's a couple of little girl's in my sisters neighborhood, and they came over to watch me light fireworks. I had to get away and go cry when they left. The way they see the world with such awe and amazement, soaking up everything like little sponges... They sat there watching the fireworks, with their little eyes fixed on the sky and their mouthes wide open. I don't see how everyone doesn't love kids. The greatest part, is my state even has a law against unmarried people adopting now, which is awesome, given my ability to end up with all the wrong women. Maybe the desire will pass, or I'll luck out in the romance department soon, but I can't help but to think, that if I don't get to be a parent, it will be my one and only great regret.
    Wow. I can't tell you how much this moved me and made me cry a little. I can't explain it. But you have a beautiful way of seeing children and using your words and it made me really stop and think. I would think any single mom would have been so lucky to have a man love her children they way you do. And I think this is why I am sad now as too many have walked out of my daughter's life. I would have at least thought their love for her would have made them stop and think a bit more. I mean, they have written a nice note every now and then. I think only one man beside my daughter's father, told me that they really loved my daughter. But still, when they were gone, they were gone and only sent her an email afterwards telling her "We broke up. But you can email me if you ever need to."

    I have never been a woman to get too angry either over any contact afterwards. They new I respected them and her's relationship. I never wanted to her to feel like anything was her fault. But they all just went away. They weren't good dad's in their own lives. They didn't even want to tell my baby a face to face explanation. They just fail. They really fail.

    Sorry. Tangent. None of these men in which I speak of are ENFP men.
    Everyday Ghoul thanked this post.

  2. #12
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    Wow. I can't tell you how much this moved me and made me cry a little. I can't explain it. But you have a beautiful way of seeing children and using your words and it made me really stop and think. I would think any single mom would have been so lucky to have a man love her children they way you do. And I think this is why I am sad now as too many have walked out of my daughter's life. I would have at least thought their love for her would have made them stop and think a bit more. I mean, they have written a nice note every now and then. I think only one man beside my daughter's father, told me that they really loved my daughter. But still, when they were gone, they were gone and only sent her an email afterwards telling her "We broke up. But you can email me if you ever need to."

    I have never been a woman to get too angry either over any contact afterwards. They new I respected them and her's relationship. I never wanted to her to feel like anything was her fault. But they all just went away. They weren't good dad's in their own lives. They didn't even want to tell my baby a face to face explanation. They just fail. They really fail.

    Sorry. Tangent. None of these men in which I speak of are ENFP men.
    Thank you for the first part of that. Kids are the awesomest little people ever. As for the rest, it's awesome that you would have allowed them to stay in touch with your daughter. I haven't had that situation, and, actually, it seems like the kids were usually used as a weapon to punish me, by blocking all contact. I guess that says a lot about both me and the women, in the emotional issues department. I really, really gotta start paying more attention to the negatives in people's character! The last situation, that you've heard all about, will come back to haunt me for the rest of my days. I will miss those little guys soooo much. Unfortunately, I'm sure they've been told I'm a monster, and seeing them ever again, will not be allowed to happen. I don't really want to think about it, though. No more negativity! No more anger! I'm sorry to hear to about the guys who didn't want to keep contact up. It must be an ENFP weakness, to overlook flaws in people, in order to see only the good, and not even in a "potential" sort of way. It's not a you could be this and that if you changed this and that situation, we just see what good is actually there. It sucks that there's actually a downside to that, because we don't see any bad that is just as much there, until it's too late.

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by Big bad wolf View Post
    Thank you for the first part of that. Kids are the awesomest little people ever. As for the rest, it's awesome that you would have allowed them to stay in touch with your daughter. I haven't had that situation, and, actually, it seems like the kids were usually used as a weapon to punish me, by blocking all contact. I guess that says a lot about both me and the women, in the emotional issues department. I really, really gotta start paying more attention to the negatives in people's character! The last situation, that you've heard all about, will come back to haunt me for the rest of my days. I will miss those little guys soooo much. Unfortunately, I'm sure they've been told I'm a monster, and seeing them ever again, will not be allowed to happen. I don't really want to think about it, though. No more negativity! No more anger! I'm sorry to hear to about the guys who didn't want to keep contact up. It must be an ENFP weakness, to overlook flaws in people, in order to see only the good, and not even in a "potential" sort of way. It's not a you could be this and that if you changed this and that situation, we just see what good is actually there. It sucks that there's actually a downside to that, because we don't see any bad that is just as much there, until it's too late.
    We all could stand to pay more attention to the negatives in people, sweetie. And we also really have to start noticing and hanging onto the positives within ourselves.


     
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