[ENFP] Strong Desire to be a Parent.

Strong Desire to be a Parent.

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This is a discussion on Strong Desire to be a Parent. within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I know a couple ENFPs. Both are both guys and are obsessed with the idea of starting a family and ...

  1. #1
    INFP - The Idealists


    Strong Desire to be a Parent.

    I know a couple ENFPs.
    Both are both guys and are obsessed with the idea of starting a family and having children.

    One of them I've known since I was 12 and it's all he ever talks about: wanting to have a daughter.
    He's very loyal, but always searching for "the one". Falls head over heels for girls as soon as they share his strong desire of wanting to have a family.

    I find this unusual in guys at all, but the second one, who I met recently, is the same way.
    Is this coincidence or generally a characteristic of most ENFPs?



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Kinda. We get into our heads what we want and any affirmation of that is intoxicating.

    Love is a consistent one. A family? Hmmm... I always wanted a family and children. I was married for a while, and have two children, but I don't know that children were part of my motivation. Mine was simply, and still is, a best friend/lover/soulmate.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    yeah im an ENFP guy and i can confirm this.. i mean what sort of 18 year old guy likes the idea of having kids? i think it's the sense of meaning i get from the idea of someone who comes from me.. and also parenting is appealing because we enfps like to help others realise their potential, as well as study others' personalities and how else do you get an opportunity to do this with someone from birth?
    i also like the idea of being friends with my kids and the affirmation of the parent-child bond.
    PorlockVisitor thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I've always wanted children.
    Then I realized
    "Wait, what if I have an ENTJ child that sees me as a frilly little nitwit?"
    Which kinda put that on hold, the children wanting ideal
    I still do want kids very badly.
    Sadly, i'm attracted, nearly exclusively, to INTJs
    And they don't seem to like the idea of children.
    PorlockVisitor and spring thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Unknown Personality

    I've never wanted kids. I'm not good with them, I don't really like them, and I never wanted a mini-me or spread my genes around. I'll be fine if my partner wanted one, but hell if I'm carrying the child. So if it is to happen, it'll have to either be an adoption, or they're giving birth.

    I think it depends on what your values are. Our Fi naturally multiplies what we consider important, so I can see why an ENFP who wants a child will amplify this feeling while the person who don't will do the opposite. I for one, is rather apathetic.
    serendipitous, PorlockVisitor and spring thanked this post.

  7. #6

    Quote Originally Posted by Tridentus View Post
    i also like the idea of being friends with my kids and the affirmation of the parent-child bond.
    This is exactly why some ENFPs might want to think twice before having kids. Unfortunately, this isn't the best thing for you or your child.

    IDK, I had one. And I'm not sure I was ever the type to be "aww look, a baby", even before that.

    I have an ENFP guy friend that is 40 and never had any kids. But he used to talk about it when he was younger. Not anymore.

    I think the decision to finally have kids can be tough for an ENFP. I know I never feel like I've quite grown up enough yet.
    PorlockVisitor and serendipitous thanked this post.

  8. #7
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by The Nymph View Post
    I've always wanted children.
    Then I realized
    "Wait, what if I have an ENTJ child that sees me as a frilly little nitwit?"
    Which kinda put that on hold, the children wanting ideal
    I still do want kids very badly.
    Sadly, i'm attracted, nearly exclusively, to INTJs
    And they don't seem to like the idea of children.
    If you're hot and won't sue me for child support, I'll put some semen in a zip lock bag and mail it to ya.
    PorlockVisitor thanked this post.

  9. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by Apocalypse Cat View Post
    If you're hot and won't sue me for child support, I'll put some semen in a zip lock bag and mail it to ya.

    I'm an ENFP.
    Of course I'm hot.
    But uh..
    My ACTUAL INTJ boyfriend
    And my 5 or so INTJ admirers might not appreciate that...

    I say Actual because I have two or so INTJ 'boyfriends' that are only my boyfriend because they're suicide-y elsewise.
    x_X

  10. #9
    INTJ - The Scientists

    Quote Originally Posted by The Nymph
    I say Actual because I have two or so INTJ 'boyfriends' that are only my boyfriend because they're suicide-y elsewise.
    x_X
    They don't need you, they need a therapist.

    Sounds like high school drama to me. Cut the apron strings and get restraining orders if you have to. You're not actually helping them. Everyday they stay with you instead of getting professional help is another day their lives are screwed up

  11. #10
    ENFJ - The Givers

    Oh, this one definitely has me written all over it. Since I hit about twenty-six, I've wanted little more than to be a father/father figure. I love children! Even with all my anger problems with adults, a kid can bite, scratch, punch, and kick me to death, and get no reaction out of me. I have an infinite amount of patience for them. It's kind of odd, because I wasn't a big fan of the idea of being a dad, when I was younger. The experience of dating women with kids, might have helped to change it. The majority of women in my age dating range, who are single without chlidren, were/are career women, and wouldn't want a chronic underachiever like me, and I understand that. I usually end up dating single moms and spending more time with the kids, than them. The sucky part is when the relationship falls apart, my heart gets broken all that many times more. Actually, I take the heart break of losing the kids harder than losing their moms. lol My most precious memories will always be the times I spent with their kids. I would say maybe it was me wanting to rescue myself, figuratively, as a kid, but nah. I just love kids. However, it sucks being a guy, in this society, and loving kids. The damn news has everyone so worried that all men who so much as stare at a kid are pedophiles, that I'm afraid to even smile and wave, when they look at me, but it's almost just instinct. It's not exactly manly to go, "Awww!! ZOMG!! Cute wittle baby!!", either. I hate that people think men can't be nurturing. Still, around the holidays, it depresses me, that I don't have kids to share it with. Holiday celebrations were made for kids. I did luck out the last fourth of July, though. There's a couple of little girl's in my sisters neighborhood, and they came over to watch me light fireworks. I had to get away and go cry when they left. The way they see the world with such awe and amazement, soaking up everything like little sponges... They sat there watching the fireworks, with their little eyes fixed on the sky and their mouthes wide open. I don't see how everyone doesn't love kids. The greatest part, is my state even has a law against unmarried people adopting now, which is awesome, given my ability to end up with all the wrong women. Maybe the desire will pass, or I'll luck out in the romance department soon, but I can't help but to think, that if I don't get to be a parent, it will be my one and only great regret.
    pinkrasputin, Danse Macabre and PorlockVisitor thanked this post.


     
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