Since spring I have been a great wad of emotions. That is, a great snowball... a snowball that keeps rolling, picking up snow and picking up speed. It's starting to wreck havoc on my life and relationships... at least internally. I only allow some of these horrific feelings out to the world.
I was wondering if there was any way to gain "control" (for lack of a better word) on these emotions, as they seem ever so out-of-whack.
For example, I am hurt by someone I trust who is ignoring me or leaving me out of the loop. I dont want to ever come across as mean or spiteful, so I keep my emotions internal. If the ignoring continues, the emotions intensify. Hurt becomes anger, and though I may keep it cool on the outside, I am being burnt up by horrifying emotions on the inside.
If the other person suddenly changes their behavior back to gathering me closer to them and listening to me, in the space of a few days, I am happy as a lark and all my angry feelings can be gone... unless they start ignoring me again. But if they don't change their behavior, pretty soon my emotions become uncontrolled dynamite and I lash out. An argument ensues. In a couple cases I have ruined my relationship with the person entirely, which is a cause of much regret on my part.
I understand that I could have just let my emotions out in the first place, but I always expect that the other person will change back to their regular self, and if I bring up my thoughts, they may get defensive.
Does this make any sense? I am sorry, I am having an emotional breakdown today.
Also, have you ever felt that knowing your personality type gives you the "go-ahead" to use your personality to the extreme, and even as an excuse for your behavior? All spring I have been an overload of ENFP, and some people love and appreciate it, and others see only what is happening on surface level. They conclude that I am immature or shallow.