[ENFP] My Fellow ENFP Guys

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This is a discussion on My Fellow ENFP Guys within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Greetings! I'm an ENFP male. I have had a hard time through life trying to explain myself to others . ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    My Fellow ENFP Guys

    Greetings! I'm an ENFP male. I have had a hard time through life trying to explain myself to others. I'm an overly affectionate, mushy, sensitive guy who isn't into sports OR confrentation. I love deep conversation especially about life, the future, world events, politics, religion, social topics and other things. I find it comforting that I'm not alone as a male ENFP. Are there any issues you guys had to deal with? For the ladies, please feel free to interject. Your opinion matters too. (after all, ENFP men ARE male feminists) but please ladies, this topic is about male ENFP's and what we go though. Your support is appreciated. Ready....... Set........ GO!
    AgAu thanked this post.



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Hey man, for me the personality test doesn't really describe what your like but how you think. However, from you post i'm beginning to realize that me and you may have a lot in common besides just how we think and process our thought. I have a hard time explaining things to others as well. It's like everything makes sense in the mind but when you want to put into words...it just doesn't make any sense. truth be told it just seems like you love deep conversation about anything...i'm the same exact way. My intj best friend and I discovered ( well he helped me to realize why I feel the way I feel) that its not that people like us can't talk about everything...it's just that there is a 2D (2 dimensional) way of talking where things become hard to respond to and then theres a 3D way of talking where its easy to make convos flow...people like you and I talk in a 3d manner...from everything that i have taken in about the world...it seems to be that most people can only talk about things on a 2d level. I wouldn't call myself a feminist because i'm not in support of woman in charge ( no offense ladies) we can talk about this if you want later on ...Im just in support in a equally humane society in which we all get along and communicate on the same level and intellect.

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Great topic, my head is swimming with ideas here. I'll respond to a piece at a time over a few posts.

    Quote Originally Posted by The King Of Dreams View Post
    For the ladies, please feel free to interject. Your opinion matters too. (after all, ENFP men ARE male feminists)
    I signed a womens' rights petition the other day and it occurred to me that yes, I am a male feminist. I've always believed that women get a raw deal in this world, and that it's due to a slice of the male population who insist on keeping it that way.

    I'm as approachable, kind and tolerant of a person as you will ever meet.... until... I see a man disrespecting a woman. It doesn't matter if it's a married couple or just some guy pissed of at the lady working the counter of the coffee shop. My blood will boil if my perception is that the man has lost objectivity and is simply trying to demean the woman. I can't help myself, I always interject.

    Certain cultures have stronger male dominance traditions and this is a barrier for me in dealing with these people. I encountered a mother pushing a three year old who I presumed to be her son around the store. The kid was acting up, as all kids do, grabbing whatever he could reach off the nearby hangers. The mother went to take the clothes back and the kid gave her a look - that look that abusers give - and a big "NO!" She then stopped where she was and waited for a minute until he finally gave them to her to put back.

    Maybe I read too much into the situation but it sure looked to me like this boy had already figured out that he was the dominant one in the relationship and he was going to use that power. I'm in my late 30's and if i attempted that on my mother I'd get my ass chewed and rightfully so.

    She got in line behind me at the checkout. I looked at the boy and said, 'You're a good looking kid, you should be nicer to your mom.'
    SassyPJs24 thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Hmmm I dont know if it is more that I would like to think..or that I truly am unique in my world of interactions and influence on others. My life story is a little wild and to be honest very different than anyone I know. If it is true that ENFP men act feminin than mine is hidden under much ego and persona I portray. But I dont think being thoughtful, kind,loving, and a good communicator ect should be directly attributed to a female trait. Nor should a tuff stern strong woman be associated as having male traits.

    I weigh situations and am able to have defenses up and also believe I am good at gaging when I can let them down with who and when, I am far from perfect but the more confident I am the more life success's flow in all I do so focusing on what I love about my uniqueness and positive self talk is key for me to beat negative demons that can haunt my wandering mind. If I get negative I will presume things in a negative light and get stressed over life's normal bumps in the road that do not even deserve my time to stress over in the big picture.

    Self loathing is the enemy because when I am healthy focusing on taking care of myself on different levels I attract all those around me to my self discovery care true friendship and comedy lol

  6. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Easy now, I said I was male feminist. I did not say I was effeminate. Big difference.

    I love sports, fishing, eating meat, starting things on fire, and farting as much as the manliest men.

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by AgAu View Post
    Easy now, I said I was male feminist. I did not say I was effeminate. Big difference.

    I love sports, fishing, eating meat, starting things on fire, and farting as much as the manliest men.
    lol not as much a reply to your statement as an overall reply to thoughts I have heard of male ENFP's
    AgAu thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    I am just like that after i meet someone but one thing for sure I AM NOT MUSHY!

  9. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    The thing I've noticed over the past few years. Being a social science student I'm in a very heavily female dominated occupation. And henceforth I have a lot of female friends, I do have some good male friends but I find I can't really have deep conversations with them. Actually, now that I've been back from travelling the world this past year I find I'm completely over hanging with chicks (most of them are married now, so makes it more difficult anyway) and definitely hanging out with a smaller amount of people and mostly guys. I do really crave to hang with a bunch of people, but moreso these days I have a group of about 5 core male friends I hang with. But yet I really do struggle having those deep relationships, but not getting it.

    In addition, I'm constantly craving some sort of adventure, but no-one is up for it ... drives me insane!

    Sorry about this rant, I'm just trying to get my head around a coupla things

  10. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by chadlinski View Post
    In addition, I'm constantly craving some sort of adventure, but no-one is up for it ... drives me insane!
    Seriously! I'm getting pissed about that sorta thing... every time I want to go somewhere new and wild everyone just shuts me down and wants to just hang around for a little bit. Whats the fun in the same old thing!? I wanna go see the back to the future delorian car in the middle of a new cafe and try their coco puff coffee!

    Anyway back to the topic... I have major issues hanging out with guys(and I am one), most I've known or met have been assholes. Apparently guys aren't supposed to care about others. I feel like I'm the only guy who holds the door for ladies.

    On deep conversation: YEA! I love it but never get it with guys... that would almost seem weird to me. Whats funny is I had a lot of deep conversation with my best guy friend in high school.... he turned out to be gay. Which I was totally cool with but still really funny it worked out that way. I was the first person he told... I guess us ENFP's get that a lot.
    chadlinski thanked this post.

  11. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by The King Of Dreams View Post
    I have had a hard time through life trying to explain myself to others
    I used to try and explain myself and justify every little thing I do. I believe it was due to a lack of self-confidence. I reached a point as a young adult where I didn't see this as important anymore. If someone is going to criticize my actions, I am confident I can either justify the action or agree with the critique and move on appropriately.

    Confrontational people used to frighten me. I would try and justify every little step in an effort to avoid conflict. My approach now is to predict the possible conflicts and have responses at the ready if I need them. It's pretty rare that I receive a critique that I haven't prepared for. This seems a little bit of an Si thing doesn't it? Maybe out of preference but it's what I do and it works.


     
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