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This is a discussion on Fellow ENFP's... within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; I am curious to know if I am in the majority/ minority here. When you are attracted/ newly dating/ in ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Fellow ENFP's...

    I am curious to know if I am in the majority/ minority here. When you are attracted/ newly dating/ in love do you head over heels "trip" over them or are you emotionally distant, always keeping your options open and can easily move on from person to person?



  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    First option. I find myself in a state of devotion during the initial limerence. I'm still to self-analyse and see if it's supposed to be there, this stage. At least it's honest. But me attaching the concept of limerence to this stage doesn't mean it'll stay this way throughout - it might develop to something better.

    But... looking at it generally, I wouldn't see much trouble leaving someone - even because if I'm leaving, there's a damned good reason. That's other subject however.

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie View Post
    I am curious to know if I am in the majority/ minority here. When you are attracted/ newly dating/ in love do you head over heels "trip" over them or are you emotionally distant, always keeping your options open and can easily move on from person to person?

    I apologize in advance, I just got back from a graduation party and I am pretty drunk.. so I might have this wrong.

    Falling head over heads... or staying emotionally distant...
    that does not seem to strike me as a MBTI personality type deal. I actually think that MBTI has very little to do with people personalities [blasphemy I know], but more than anything, I think things that influence us most are things that happen to us during childhood and adolecense age. When it comes to things like 'Falling head over heels" or "staying emotionally distant," I think those can be accounted for in numerous different ways, like having lots of affection or being neglected during childhood, or being abused, etc.

    In all people, regardless of MBTI types, people that tend to have been abused during childhood are more likely to have trust issues, can have jealousy, possessiveness, lack of trust, possibly emotionally distant etc. I think more than just personality types, it's all based upon experiences that shape us.

    Okay I'm done with my rant. Lol.
    PurtyLady thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by Charlie View Post
    I am curious to know if I am in the majority/ minority here. When you are attracted/ newly dating/ in love do you head over heels "trip" over them or are you emotionally distant, always keeping your options open and can easily move on from person to person?

    Well its different for each setting for me. If you want one answer though, I'll go with "trip." I'm am very romantic when I'm in love with someone, but I will not text them every second of the day like some people I know. I'd like to keep my options open also just in case things don't work out. What about you?

  6. #5

    I will give that person my complete undivided attention. However I have trust issues, so I am constantly watching and waiting for them to mess up (or at least I used to be like that), and then run at the slightest hint of uncertainty.
    So I guess I would keep my options open also
    clairest thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    Quote Originally Posted by avalanche183 View Post
    I apologize in advance, I just got back from a graduation party and I am pretty drunk.. so I might have this wrong.

    Falling head over heads... or staying emotionally distant...
    that does not seem to strike me as a MBTI personality type deal. I actually think that MBTI has very little to do with people personalities [blasphemy I know], but more than anything, I think things that influence us most are things that happen to us during childhood and adolecense age. When it comes to things like 'Falling head over heels" or "staying emotionally distant," I think those can be accounted for in numerous different ways, like having lots of affection or being neglected during childhood, or being abused, etc.

    In all people, regardless of MBTI types, people that tend to have been abused during childhood are more likely to have trust issues, can have jealousy, possessiveness, lack of trust, possibly emotionally distant etc. I think more than just personality types, it's all based upon experiences that shape us.

    Okay I'm done with my rant. Lol.
    1. Have I ever told you I'm obsessed with your avatar? It's my favorite avatar on the whole site. I mean, seriously, a cat bopping to music. a- mazing.

    and 2. I don't know if this is because I just got back from a party and I'm sober or whatever lol, I'm aware of everything you say in your post. There are a lot of predisposed reactions learned in childhood, all of them variables, but I'm doing my own unofficial study to see what other ENFP's feel. Maybe to see if there could be any personality predisposition to relationship behavior as well. Perhaps our P combined with our N leads us to always want greener pastures in relationships. Or are there a some ENFP's who don't feel the need to keep their options open. And of those ENFP's, do they find it easy to leave/ get over a relationship. Just some stuff I'm curious about. Thanks for your perceptive input. you're awesome.
    angularvelocity thanked this post.

  8. #7

    I usually "trip" at first attraction, but once we start dating, I get distant unless it's right.
    Charlie thanked this post.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by PurtyLady View Post
    I will give that person my complete undivided attention. However I have trust issues, so I am constantly watching and waiting for them to mess up (or at least I used to be like that), and then run at the slightest hint of uncertainty.
    So I guess I would keep my options open also
    Wow! Exactly!

  10. #9
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I guess I have trust issues too. I can trip in the beginning and *think* I'm totally smitten. Unconsciously though my options are still open at the very first sign of trouble.

    I find this to be not the case in long term. After the person has proven their core time and time again they slowly earn the trust enough to be a fundamental part of my life. I can see myself supporting these people even if they suddenly become cruel, distant or whatever. It's a veeerry long road though to earn this trust.

  11. #10

    Here's the thing with me:

    If you move too fast, or you do something wrong, I RUN!
    Also, don't be clingy or needy, you must be able to stand on your own two feet emotionally (but don't be cold either...)
    And you must respect me for who I am...and then I am basically yours. But:
    If I feel the need to leave, I will...unless you're really sensitive, then I'll have to sort of work my way around it.


     
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