Just curious if anyone battles with inconsistency? To put it into context, I've been working at my current job for 3 years and during that time, a similar pattern has emerged which was evident in all previous jobs, namely my dependability/consistency. In the past week, I've been extremely late to work twice which has really disappointed my really really cool boss. And this is not the first time of such lateness. In this current job, I've subconsciously sabotaged the perception my superiors and my colleagues have of me. And this has been the history of my working life. It's as if I will do all these great things to get noticed and generate belief in my potential and then out of nowhere, hit the self-destruct button and become the antithesis of what everyone (including myself) thought of me. I've gone from the G.O.A.T. (Greatest of All Time) to the black sheep, and it's all because of my behaviour.
I could guess a possible explanation is that I'm not really passionate about what I do and really my behaviours are just expressions of my soul trying to free itself from corporate shackles. Or I could say that this last occurrence was due to me staying out until 2am (which I usually do anyway), drinking a few beers and despite premonitions of getting a food coma, ate a delicious roast turkey sandwich with coco bread. However, I think there's something bigger at play here. When I look at the 30 plus years of my life, I see a roller coaster of high highs and low lows which resembles the polygraph test of a pathological liar. Don't get me wrong, I've convinced myself that it's the valleys in life that really make you appreciate the peaks, but I'm getting pretty tired of completely impressing someone with my abilities only to epically disappoint them. And on a grander scale, I can't really keep consistent even with what I love (my girlfriend, my friends, working out, meditating, reading, writing, etc.)
Any thoughts? Similar experiences? Advice on how to be consistent???