[ENFP] an extravert in a relationship with an introvert and needing a hobby (advice pls)

an extravert in a relationship with an introvert and needing a hobby (advice pls)

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  • 1 Post By SlimJim

This is a discussion on an extravert in a relationship with an introvert and needing a hobby (advice pls) within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; okay so, me and my boyfriend have been together for like... ten and a half months now. for the past ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    an extravert in a relationship with an introvert and needing a hobby (advice pls)

    okay so, me and my boyfriend have been together for like... ten and a half months now. for the past ten and a half months, we've spent practically every day together, doing lots of social things with friends, basically being out all the time. which is awesome for me, because i need to be out or else i'll go insane crazy. (i'm the ENxP in this relationship. probably.)

    anyway, i've always known my boyfriend is a bit more on the introverted side, but he never really seemed to mind being out all the time. lately, though, he's been more stressed out and needing more down time, which is fine because i perfectly understand and am willing to give him his space. he needs to help take care of his dad who just got out of the hospital anyway, and of course i'm not about to impede on his family obligations.

    so here's the situation. my friends are his friends and his friends are my friends. we share everything, literally, and we're starting to realize that it's kind of unhealthy. people in relationships need space, of course, need their own things to do and to talk about and their own people to talk to or else the relationship runs the risk of going stale. we want to work and being as healthy about our relationship as possible, and that's fine. for him, that means going home more, having his alone time to do his own stuff like playing video games and whatever. the problem here is for me.

    on the one hand, i love our friends and i hang out with them without my boyfriend all the time. but almost all of our friends are guys, which doesn't really bother him but at the same time i can tell he probably wishes it was a little bit different. at this point i'm becoming closer to our best friend than he is, and he's known him his entire life, whereas i've only known him for as long as i've been dating my bf. i want to get out and do other stuff, but it seems like there's almost nothing to do besides what i've already been doing. but there needs to be a change. i just can't figure it out.

    ---------tl;dr line-----------

    so basically, the bottom line is this: what are some people-oriented hobbies that i could take up and keep separate from my bf without causing a jealousy problem? i'm not into sports at all (really can't do the competitive thing) and there doesn't really seem to be any community activities that i can really take part in this late in the game, especially considering i'm an american living on a military base in germany, so my options are kind of limited. i mean, i've always enjoyed doing artistic things, but that's something solitary, and it just gets me bored and restless after a while. also, i'm 17 (almost 18) and a senior in high school, so i dunno, besides school activities (which i almost universally can't stand, and either way, like i said, it's too late to join by now) there just doesn't seem to be anything i can do. i'm also kind of put off by the idea of making "new" friends, because i'm leaving to go back to the states this summer and it just seems... i dunno, not that great, you know?

    so yeah. any ideas on creative "extroverted" activities i can participate in?
    please and thanks. i just don't want to be lonely with these relationship changes going on. it's kind of a scary prospect because i'm so addicted to the constant socialization, and now it seems to be dying down.

  2. #2
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I think the best thing you could do would be to find ways to make the things you love social. You say you love art, so why not try and sign up for an art class? Or if you like music or singing, why not join a band? Take something you love to do, and find a way to do it with other people! Also, you could get involved with community service projects like habitat for humanity. I don't know if the have that where you're at, but they probably have something similar, and it's something us NFs are naturally good at.

  3. #3

    Take up dancing classes! :D! Or go to the gym or something...?

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    How about acting? That's a very social thing to do, and you can normally slip into it late in the game.

    With my drama group I joined two weeks before a show, I was just in croud scenes and helped with front of house stuff. There were some other late joiners who were just there to help with the lighting , props, costuming, and so on.

    I find drama groups are always very...dramatic, the people and behind the scenes stuff, as well as the actual on stage dramatics. This means you should have plenty to talk about with your partner if you did join.

    There are also might be some volentary stuff you could look into, though being in Germany would there be a language issue? If so, that will limit the more social hobbies you could take up a bit. I wasn't sure if that was the case from your post.

    If it isn't a big deal, there must be some volentary stuff going on in your area that would interest you, especially if you like kids or nature.


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