[ENFP] ENFP and INTJ similarities

ENFP and INTJ similarities

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This is a discussion on ENFP and INTJ similarities within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; Can any of y'all, as ENFPs, relate to what is said about INTJs in their type descriptions? A lot of ...

  1. #1
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    ENFP and INTJ similarities

    Can any of y'all, as ENFPs, relate to what is said about INTJs in their type descriptions? A lot of what is said about them rings true for me as well. Perhaps the descriptions are written in such general terms they're highly relatable, even for those who don't fit the type. Share your thoughts on the bolded parts, please. :) Discussion of our use versus their use of cognitive functions is welcome.

    "NTs as a group tend to enjoy playing with words, finding pleasure in exploring verbal intricacies. Convoluted phrases and paradoxical statements fascinate them."

    "NTs tend to focus on the future, regarding the past as something dead and gone. What matters most is what might be and what might happen next."

    "The INTJs rather than using deductive logic, use their intuition to grasp coherence."

    "INTJs can be very single-minded at times; this can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can ignore the points of view and wishes of others."

    "INTJs want harmony and order in the home and in relationships. They are the most independent of all types. They trust their intuitions about others when making choices of friends and mates, even in the face of contradicting evidence and pressures applied by others. "

    Not easily discouraged, all things become possible, including what other types would consider to be impossibilities.

    "The INTJ, more so than the INTP, may become very frustrated if that knowledge is not, in the form of some type of project, eventually applied constructively in the world."

    "INTJ’s are very self-motivated, drawn to working autonomously, and often do their best work when simply left to their own devices to undertake a particular project or task. They do not need to be, or enjoy being, watched over closely or micro-managed."

    "With their imaginations unconstrained by tradition or social norms, the freethinking INTJ is willing and able to imagine possibilities that others might never consider. Combined with their understanding of systems and their strategic, coordination and planning skills, this renders the INTJ capable of conceiving often novel concepts and solutions."

    Thus, compelled to determine the very best plan of action, the INTJ may feel obligated to postpone any final decisions or bold actions until they have intelligently analyzed this range of possibilities and developed a plan about which they feel rather certain. [...] In some cases, the INTJ, mired in perfectionism, may even fail to take action at all."

    "Constant self-doubting is the hallmark of the NT, so severe, that because of these doubts the NT often does not react at all because of fear of failure. He can be completely immobilised by self-doubt so far that his resolution fades.

    "Losing Themselves in Irrelevant Obsessive Thought – In addition to biting sarcasm, another tactic the INTJ may use to distance from the outside world is escaping into their own mind. With their ability to see contingencies and explore possibilities, there is a virtually endless buffet of material available for an INTJ to ponder. And while the INTJ may usually be frustrated by meaningless abstract thought decoupled from constructive action, they may, when stressed, take great comfort in remaining deep in contemplation as an avoidant defense rather than as a step in the pursuit of meaningful goals in the world."

    "In their desire to escape from outside stressors, the unhealthy INTJ may retreat not only mentally through perpetual abstract thinking, but even physically. At the extreme, the INTJ may become almost completely disconnected from the outside world around them.

    "The INTJ may experience the day-to-day tasks of living – paying bills, cleaning, shopping – as extremely boring or even threatening distractions from the intellectual deliberations and engaging projects that they perceive as more important and meaningful. When very unhealthy, they may eschew these activities as much as possible while escaping into the much more exciting and stimulating realms of their imagination and autonomous work."

    "The always visionary INTJ may have a clear image of their ideal relationship in mind, rife with romantic and sexual symbolism and, just as in other areas of their life, may be exhilarated or frustrated based on the extent to which the reality of the situation matches their imagined ideal. Where the relationship falls short of this ideal, the INTJ may, typically, feel driven to develop strategies to close that gap. This approach can make the INTJ a very committed partner, eager to work with their lover to make the relationship the best it can be, but may also leave their partner feeling more like a science experiment than a loved human being."

    "The INTJ tends to value a mate who is strong and independent and can “hold their own” in discussions and dealings with the INTJ."
    sherkanner and MissJordan thanked this post.



  2. #2
    INTJ - The Scientists

    This should be interesting. . .

  3. #3
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Wow,I can relate to every single one of those.

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  5. #4

    INTJ are more like ENFP than many would care to admit, but....i won't go there. I know this to be true in my own personal relationship with an INTJ. It took time for my INTJ to step out of denial ;) same goes for me for that matter. We can laugh about it now, when we're not both trying to be right that is ;-) It really depends on the pairing thou, i don't know if this can be said for all INTJ/ENFP.
    NaughyChimp thanked this post.

  6. #5
    Unknown Personality

    Can we just cut to the chase and turn this into another INTJ fan thread?
    L'Empereur, sherkanner, lirulin and 2 others thanked this post.

  7. #6
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Well, let me go through it and respond for myself:
    Quote Originally Posted by brightlywound View Post
    "NTs as a group tend to enjoy playing with words, finding pleasure in exploring verbal intricacies. Convoluted phrases and paradoxical statements fascinate them."
    Well, yes, but I try not to alienate myself from people who aren't so into convolution.

    "NTs tend to focus on the future, regarding the past as something dead and gone. What matters most is what might be and what might happen next."
    Not the future, but possible futures, sure.

    "The INTJs rather than using deductive logic, use their intuition to grasp coherence."
    Yeah, but know that I don't stop at the first signs of coherence.

    "INTJs can be very single-minded at times; this can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can ignore the points of view and wishes of others."
    Flat-out no. I can't be single-minded. That's the biggest problem with my perfectionism. If I were single-minded I would finish things; I wouldn't be wasting time making sure that all my projects respond to all the possible points of view that I can dream up, until I hit a deadline.

    "INTJs want harmony and order in the home and in relationships. They are the most independent of all types. They trust their intuitions about others when making choices of friends and mates, even in the face of contradicting evidence and pressures applied by others. "
    "Choices of friends and mates"? I just try to include everyone...

    Not easily discouraged, all things become possible, including what other types would consider to be impossibilities.
    The first part, not so much, but the rest is of course bang-on.

    "The INTJ, more so than the INTP, may become very frustrated if that knowledge is not, in the form of some type of project, eventually applied constructively in the world."
    Hah, no. I could care less if what I dream up is applied. So much knowledge passes through my head, it's not worth it. It'll all just come back naturally when I need it in coversation.

    "INTJ’s are very self-motivated, drawn to working autonomously, and often do their best work when simply left to their own devices to undertake a particular project or task. They do not need to be, or enjoy being, watched over closely or micro-managed."
    I'd say I'm more motivated by meeting/surpassing others' expectations, whether or not they're actually micro-managing me.

    "With their imaginations unconstrained by tradition or social norms, the freethinking INTJ is willing and able to imagine possibilities that others might never consider. Combined with their understanding of systems and their strategic, coordination and planning skills, this renders the INTJ capable of conceiving often novel concepts and solutions."
    Of course, but planning skills? HAH!

    Thus, compelled to determine the very best plan of action, the INTJ may feel obligated to postpone any final decisions or bold actions until they have intelligently analyzed this range of possibilities and developed a plan about which they feel rather certain. [...] In some cases, the INTJ, mired in perfectionism, may even fail to take action at all."
    Yes, except I don't develop a plan. I just fit the whole system of patterns into my subconscious and produce results through guided improvisation.

    "Constant self-doubting is the hallmark of the NT, so severe, that because of these doubts the NT often does not react at all because of fear of failure. He can be completely immobilised by self-doubt so far that his resolution fades.
    It's happened, sure, but I've learned not to exaggerate my self-doubts to a degree.

    "Losing Themselves in Irrelevant Obsessive Thought – In addition to biting sarcasm, another tactic the INTJ may use to distance from the outside world is escaping into their own mind. With their ability to see contingencies and explore possibilities, there is a virtually endless buffet of material available for an INTJ to ponder. And while the INTJ may usually be frustrated by meaningless abstract thought decoupled from constructive action, they may, when stressed, take great comfort in remaining deep in contemplation as an avoidant defense rather than as a step in the pursuit of meaningful goals in the world."
    I'd like to think that I escape into other people's minds more than my own.

    "In their desire to escape from outside stressors, the unhealthy INTJ may retreat not only mentally through perpetual abstract thinking, but even physically. At the extreme, the INTJ may become almost completely disconnected from the outside world around them.
    The closest experience I've had to this was putting my social life on hold for a girlfriend who liked to stay in a lot.

    "The INTJ may experience the day-to-day tasks of living – paying bills, cleaning, shopping – as extremely boring or even threatening distractions from the intellectual deliberations and engaging projects that they perceive as more important and meaningful. When very unhealthy, they may eschew these activities as much as possible while escaping into the much more exciting and stimulating realms of their imagination and autonomous work."
    It's not that they're boring. Nothing's really ever boring considering how good my imagination is. Most people just assume that I find such things boring because I never think of doing them.

    "The always visionary INTJ may have a clear image of their ideal relationship in mind, rife with romantic and sexual symbolism and, just as in other areas of their life, may be exhilarated or frustrated based on the extent to which the reality of the situation matches their imagined ideal. Where the relationship falls short of this ideal, the INTJ may, typically, feel driven to develop strategies to close that gap. This approach can make the INTJ a very committed partner, eager to work with their lover to make the relationship the best it can be, but may also leave their partner feeling more like a science experiment than a loved human being."
    No, no, no... I have a very open image of an ideal relationship, and over-think what my partner might be thinking, to the point I don't think I could conceivably "leave [my] partner feeling more like a science experiment than a loved human being".

    "The INTJ tends to value a mate who is strong and independent and can “hold their own” in discussions and dealings with the INTJ."
    If she can't, it's no biggie. I'll adapt if I want to date her and she wants to date me.
    brightlywound, Nafatali and Eloise thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers


    "NTs as a group tend to enjoy playing with words, finding pleasure in exploring verbal intricacies. Convoluted phrases and paradoxical statements fascinate them."
    Well, yes, but I try not to alienate myself from people who aren't so into convolution.
    Who said anything about alienating people who aren't into wordplay? I do love to play around with the nuances of language.

    "NTs tend to focus on the future, regarding the past as something dead and gone. What matters most is what might be and what might happen next."
    Not the future, but possible futures, sure.
    I that read line more in the sense that they're optimistic like we are, but you're right, that's not exactly it. It's more like a logical way of approaching what's immediately in front of you because it's practical to do so and you can't change the past. I agree with you that possibilities that the future holds are what I focus on, rather than the future as a coherent picture.

    "The INTJs rather than using deductive logic, use their intuition to grasp coherence."
    Yeah, but know that I don't stop at the first signs of coherence.
    Same here. I don't think INTJs do either, though.

    "INTJs can be very single-minded at times; this can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can be either a weakness or a strength in their careers, for they can ignore the points of view and wishes of others."
    Flat-out no. I can't be single-minded. That's the biggest problem with my perfectionism. If I were single-minded I would finish things; I wouldn't be wasting time making sure that all my projects respond to all the possible points of view that I can dream up, until I hit a deadline.
    You can't be single minded? Okay, perhaps my "hyperfocusing" has nothing to do with type. I just spent all day trying to get the perfect shot of some fruit. My friends always marvel at how I get so into things and learn everything about them, committing 150% of my focus and effort to one pursuit at a time (while juggling other projects which receive considerably less attention) until I've learned everything there is to know about it or have mastered whatever skill it involves. I can bum around the house and sacrifice personal contact and changing my clothes if I'm on a knowledge binge. From Hilary Duff to holocaust literature to a specific scientific research topic to cosmetics... been there, done that, bored with it and have sinced moved on to something else to conquer. :P Perhaps that's not how INTJs view their areas of interest, but I got that impression from what was stated. I can certainly maintain a high level of interest in dynamic subjects that continue to evolve (newness, yay!) and are relevant to my world view.

    "INTJs want harmony and order in the home and in relationships. They are the most independent of all types. They trust their intuitions about others when making choices of friends and mates, even in the face of contradicting evidence and pressures applied by others. "
    "Choices of friends and mates"? I just try to include everyone...
    You've never felt controlled by someone pressuring you to do something, and resisted their input/advice/etc to follow your own intuition? That's how I read that line. I refuse to mindlessly follow someone else's arbitrary rules or preconceived notions about people, and that includes social norms. Along those lines, I can get "stuck" on someone who might be presenting evidence that contradicts my idea of who they are, once I make up my mind to pursue a relationship. Am trying to be more self aware about that.

    Not easily discouraged, all things become possible, including what other types would consider to be impossibilities.
    The first part, not so much, but the rest is of course bang-on.
    You're easily discouraged? My idealistic enthusiasm leads me to plunge headlong into my pursuits, no matter how impossible they may seem, if the cause is morally sound and worth my effort.

    "The INTJ, more so than the INTP, may become very frustrated if that knowledge is not, in the form of some type of project, eventually applied constructively in the world."
    Hah, no. I could care less if what I dream up is applied. So much knowledge passes through my head, it's not worth it. It'll all just come back naturally when I need it in coversation.
    Hmm... I do care about knowledge I acquire being put to use to do something, at least at this point in my life. That might have something to do with having an entrepreneurial spirit, though. :)

    "INTJ’s are very self-motivated, drawn to working autonomously, and often do their best work when simply left to their own devices to undertake a particular project or task. They do not need to be, or enjoy being, watched over closely or micro-managed."
    I'd say I'm more motivated by meeting/surpassing others' expectations, whether or not they're actually micro-managing me.
    I agree with you here. Still, I'd much rather work independently on my own schedule using my own methods (wouldn't everyone though?) versus constantly receiving orders and specific instructions for how to do something. It just breaks my concentration and interferes with reverse engineering or brainstorming to solve a problem.

    "With their imaginations unconstrained by tradition or social norms, the freethinking INTJ is willing and able to imagine possibilities that others might never consider. Combined with their understanding of systems and their strategic, coordination and planning skills, this renders the INTJ capable of conceiving often novel concepts and solutions."
    Of course, but planning skills? HAH!
    Ditto on planning! Made it this far in life making things up as I go along. However, planning is essential in order to achieve certain goals. Working on it!

    Thus, compelled to determine the very best plan of action, the INTJ may feel obligated to postpone any final decisions or bold actions until they have intelligently analyzed this range of possibilities and developed a plan about which they feel rather certain. [...] In some cases, the INTJ, mired in perfectionism, may even fail to take action at all."
    Yes, except I don't develop a plan. I just fit the whole system of patterns into my subconscious and produce results through guided improvisation.
    Sounds familiar!

    "Constant self-doubting is the hallmark of the NT, so severe, that because of these doubts the NT often does not react at all because of fear of failure. He can be completely immobilised by self-doubt so far that his resolution fades.
    It's happened, sure, but I've learned not to exaggerate my self-doubts to a degree.
    That's good. I still struggle with being paralyzed when faced with a multitude of possibilities, fearing that whatever I pick won't be the "best" choice as I go through all the possible outcomes in my head. Then a knowledge binge ensues, and there's even more information to consider. It can become a vicious cycle if I don't just hunker down and make a decision!

    "Losing Themselves in Irrelevant Obsessive Thought – In addition to biting sarcasm, another tactic the INTJ may use to distance from the outside world is escaping into their own mind. With their ability to see contingencies and explore possibilities, there is a virtually endless buffet of material available for an INTJ to ponder. And while the INTJ may usually be frustrated by meaningless abstract thought decoupled from constructive action, they may, when stressed, take great comfort in remaining deep in contemplation as an avoidant defense rather than as a step in the pursuit of meaningful goals in the world."
    I'd like to think that I escape into other people's minds more than my own.
    I can relate to what you said. Then again, when I'm super stressed or have to deal with confronting a person or situation, I have to actively work against avoidant tendencies.

    "In their desire to escape from outside stressors, the unhealthy INTJ may retreat not only mentally through perpetual abstract thinking, but even physically. At the extreme, the INTJ may become almost completely disconnected from the outside world around them.
    The closest experience I've had to this was putting my social life on hold for a girlfriend who liked to stay in a lot.
    Must be a personal problem then, LOL. ;) I went through a yearlong period that was pretty rough. I don't think healthy ENFPs often become disconnected from the world.

    "The INTJ may experience the day-to-day tasks of living – paying bills, cleaning, shopping – as extremely boring or even threatening distractions from the intellectual deliberations and engaging projects that they perceive as more important and meaningful. When very unhealthy, they may eschew these activities as much as possible while escaping into the much more exciting and stimulating realms of their imagination and autonomous work."
    It's not that they're boring. Nothing's really ever boring considering how good my imagination is. Most people just assume that I find such things boring because I never think of doing them.
    Man, mundane tasks are like pulling teeth for me. Filling out forms, making calls about appointments, laundry (!), cleaning... perhaps I'll try to imagine I'm on a grand adventure or quest while performing such tasks. How do you use your imagination to make them more bearable?

    "The always visionary INTJ may have a clear image of their ideal relationship in mind, rife with romantic and sexual symbolism and, just as in other areas of their life, may be exhilarated or frustrated based on the extent to which the reality of the situation matches their imagined ideal. Where the relationship falls short of this ideal, the INTJ may, typically, feel driven to develop strategies to close that gap. This approach can make the INTJ a very committed partner, eager to work with their lover to make the relationship the best it can be, but may also leave their partner feeling more like a science experiment than a loved human being."
    No, no, no... I have a very open image of an ideal relationship, and over-think what my partner might be thinking, to the point I don't think I could conceivably "leave [my] partner feeling more like a science experiment than a loved human being".
    Totally. The science experiment thing doesn't resonate with me, but I can relate to being idealistic about a romantic partner and relentlessly working at a relationship to "fix" it.

    "The INTJ tends to value a mate who is strong and independent and can “hold their own” in discussions and dealings with the INTJ."
    If she can't, it's no biggie. I'll adapt if I want to date her and she wants to date me.
    I have to be with someone who stimulates me mentally. If he can't keep up a conversation and banter with me, there'll be someone who will be able to hold my attention and incite feelings of attraction that way.
    Last edited by brightlywound; 08-07-2011 at 07:40 AM.
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  9. #8
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    Quote Originally Posted by brightlywound View Post
    Who said anything about alienating people who aren't into wordplay? I do love to play around with the nuances of language.
    Oh, for sure. I just meant I don't find anything particularly fascinating about convolution.

    You can't be single minded? Okay, perhaps my "hyperfocusing" has nothing to do with type. I just spent all day trying to get the perfect shot of some fruit. My friends always marvel at how I get so into things and learn everything about them, committing 150% of my focus and effort to one pursuit at a time (while juggling other projects which receive considerably less attention) until I've learned everything there is to know about it or have mastered whatever skill it involves. I can bum around the house and sacrifice personal contact and changing my clothes if I'm on a knowledge binge. From Hilary Duff to holocaust literature to a specific scientific research topic to cosmetics... been there, done that, bored with it and have sinced moved on to something else to conquer. :P Perhaps that's not how INTJs view their areas of interest, but I got that impression from what was stated. I can certainly maintain a high level of interest in dynamic subjects that continue to evolve (newness, yay!) and are relevant to my world view.
    Oh, I can be very focused, that's not a problem at all, but I don't think that's what the prompt was about. Give me a minute to cross my legs and focus on my breathing and then, sure, I can be "single-minded" for hours. The prompt talks about careers though, so it's more about specialization. For example, did you really devote yourself to holocaust literature to the point you can now support yourself on a career writing and lecturing about it?

    You've never felt controlled by someone pressuring you to do something, and resisted their input/advice/etc to follow your own intuition? That's how I read that line. I refuse to mindlessly follow someone else's arbitrary rules or preconceived notions about people, and that includes social norms. Along those lines, I can get "stuck" on someone who might be presenting evidence that contradicts my idea of who they are, once I make up my mind to pursue a relationship. Am trying to be more self aware about that.
    I'm not one to worry about whether or not someone is controlling me. Conceivably, it can't happen short of CIA brainwashing. I have no problem helping those who need to feel like they're in control when it just involves them and me. I'm not sure what you mean by getting "stuck" on someone though. Are you talking about romantic relationships?

    You're easily discouraged? My idealistic enthusiasm leads me to plunge headlong into my pursuits, no matter how impossible they may seem, if the cause is morally sound and worth my effort.
    No, no. I just have a good idea of exactly how much stress I can take. I'm not willing to put on the appearance of having an indomitable spirit when I'm just going to burn myself out and do more harm than good.

    Hmm... I do care about knowledge I acquire being put to use to do something, at least at this point in my life. That might have something to do with having an entrepreneurial spirit, though. :)
    Oh yeah, I'm a enneagram 9. No entrepreneurial spirit here.

    I agree with you here. Still, I'd much rather work independently on my own schedule using my own methods (wouldn't everyone though?) versus constantly receiving orders and specific instructions for how to do something. It just breaks my concentration and interferes with reverse engineering or brainstorming to solve a problem.
    Oh, I agree 100%, but there are good managers out there too that realize these things.

    That's good. I still struggle with being paralyzed when faced with a multitude of possibilities, fearing that whatever I pick won't be the "best" choice as I go through all the possible outcomes in my head. Then a knowledge binge ensues, and there's even more information to consider. It can become a vicious cycle if I don't just hunker down and make a decision!
    It happens to me too. I've just become good at buying myself the extra time I need for the "knowledge binge". Or caring less. Or listing the benefits of getting my imperfect works out there, i.e. as opposed to deleting this post right before I Submit Reply.

    Must be a personal thing issue. I went through a yearlong period that was pretty rough. I don't think healthy ENFPs often become disconnected from the world.
    Oh, by all means, I had a 3-year rough patch. I'm sure it would have been less rough if I hadn't limited my social life as much as I did too (no matter how awesome my ex-gf was).

    Man, mundane tasks are like pulling teeth for me. Filling out forms, making calls about appointments, laundry (!), cleaning... perhaps I'll try to imagine I'm on a grand adventure or quest while performing such tasks. How do you use your imagination to make them more bearable?
    Just be mindful of all the facets of the mundane situation. Imagine all the different ways that paperwork you have to fill out could go. Find a way to flirt/joke/bond with whatever stranger is on the other end of the phone-line. Feel at one with your local dry-cleaners when you iron that shirt. Think of your mother when you clean. (Why? I don't know! (Just do it! (It works!!)))

    Totally. The science experiment thing doesn't resonate with me, but I can relate to being idealistic about a romantic partner and relentlessly working at a relationship to "fix" it.
    [...]
    I have to be with someone who stimulates me mentally. If he can't keep up a conversation and banter with me, there'll be someone who will be able to hold my attention and incite feelings of attraction that way.
    Well, maybe I'm not the best person to compare yourself to for this kind of stuff. After having a good relationship, I'm a lot less concerned about future ones, somehow.
    10char ^_^
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  10. #9
    Unknown Personality


    ENFPs

    One of the things that I tend to like about ENFPs is that they aren't easily offended. For example, when I make a Holocaust joke they react by laughing hysterically rather than being offended like most other types. Even though I have nothing against Jews, or anybody else for that matter, and nor do the ENFPs in question, it is simply a hallmark INTJ trait to find the humor in very dark disturbing things. And ENFPs seem to get that and not be offended by it.
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  11. #10
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I completely relate to all of it. I think it has to do with the developing of our tertiary function, Te, which they use Ti, but for me it isn't as easy to do so i am a little behind in life (26). I was so angry earlier that I typed out a bit of a theory on my iPhone notes:

    -----

    Ok, so with the falling in love with your tertiary function, meaning it's what revelates you to realize you CAN be a normal functioning human being; mine being Te, making a type of complex bc it's the most rational so people who befriend you for being fun, will not accept this trait, so it's very hard to develop until you realize you just have to say bye to those people pulling you down- bc it's already very hard for us to do since it is extraverted, our secondary mode Fi internalizes the Ne of responses we get from our Extraverting our healthy functions, but are obviously underdeveloped still, so we focus so much on it and get in our own world not giving a shit about what the other person thinks until we are done explaining our thought- only to be mocked bc they already know and I was like beating a dead horse or mocked bc it doesn't even matter to them why am I wasting my time thinking about such aspects- it's such a bloody smack in the face that we climb back in our shells and go back into immature never growing up enfp mode and feel so discontent and guilty but can't figure out why.

    Ok, I just realized this tonight in speaking with my roommate (infj) and her friend who was over. I'd been very introverted the past two days bc she is very unhealthy and all she does is drink when she's off work, so it's a constant pity party of hangovers, working too much, and then emotional roller coasters bc of it (uh, DUH!!!) but she refuses to think about it that way and says she doesn't care she doesn't want to change. Whatever, my point being, she drains me bc she's so emotional and I want my home ti be peaceful so I've found that I'll just put my responsibilities aside so she stops complaining and crying.

    Yesterday I was finally like agh, I guess I'll just use Ti and see if I figure anything out. Ha! I went nowhere. Literally, the only productive thing I did was run two miles this morning.

    So tonight decided ok, I'll just do what feels natural and not care about her emotional complaining. I literally just blocked her out the whole time and her friend would be cracking up watching us bc we were both in our own conversations and seriously weren't even on the same topic at all! So I guess we were talking to ourselves, but it helped me get what I was thinking about.

    But then, she started mocking everything I was saying with stupid deflections to get me to think about her feelings (that's what she has other friends for, I've told her she had to quit bringing all her petty negativities, which she doesn't think complaining is negative, and dumping them on me or she needs to move out), but I see her deliberately trying to fuck with me to get me out of Te, so I flipped and told her "dammit! We've talked about this, u know I need to Te to function- this is the shit that I need to do in order to set my goals and grow up bc I actually DO want to grow as a person, so FUCK YOU!" and went to bed.

    So she starts talking through my door, said sorry, then just went happy go lucky but I could tell she was doing it to make herself feel better, which go ahead, but then she acts oblivious that the whole thing even happened and continues talking to me through my closed door!

    -----

    Im not going to go back through it bc I'm tired and need to be up in four hours but think it's relevant. (Open to being called out on inconsistencies.)

    But I think that's why I'm always so drawn and defensive of entj's. Their first function is Te and so many people (my roommate included) misunderstand their intentions and communications. It frustrates me intensely bc most if not all of my girl friends are feeling types while my two best guy friends are entj's so it draws the Ti I force myself to use out to Te AND I don't get judged, I am forced to talk it out in order to defend myself and the mutual respect for Te is so helpful bc to my feeling type friends they just say Im moody or can be a jerk, or it's just bc I like the guys (which if u know entj's, at least these ones, they can totally be just friends bc they are very much in control of themselves, so being a girl who is a commitment-phob, it just works, *f*ckers* I just don't know girl entj's)

    Its a hurdle I think and why I also think I just need to cut certain people out of my life who won't support my Te growth. I really don't even think they're aware of how it affects me, despite the many times I tell them. They just don't understand Te.

    I applaud anyone who made it through all that.


     
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