[ENFP] social etiquette - invited? NOT invited? invite yourself?

social etiquette - invited? NOT invited? invite yourself?

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This is a discussion on social etiquette - invited? NOT invited? invite yourself? within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; how do you handle scenarios when you or someone you know isn't DIRECTLY invited, but invited by someone else or ...

  1. #1
    Unknown Personality

    social etiquette - invited? NOT invited? invite yourself?

    how do you handle scenarios when you or someone you know isn't DIRECTLY invited, but invited by someone else or typically associated in a routine social activity with a routine group of people? when are OK times to just invite yourself/others, and when are other times you should take it as a sign someone didn't want you/that person there?
    Last edited by curious0610; 02-02-2012 at 09:01 PM.



  2. #2

    I never have any clue about social etiquette. This is common for people with sx/sp instinct variants. Worst comes to worst they'll tell you that they didn't want you there, either directly or through their actions. Even if that happens it shouldn't be all that bad. I think you should go. What do you have to lose?

  3. #3
    Unknown

    I'm almost always invited. If I'm not, I don't really care, lol. As long as my social life and my "me" time have a good balance. I would personally never show up where I'm uninvited, but chances are that I didn't want to be there anyway x)

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  5. #4
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    It depends on what it is. If my INFP friend doesn't invite me to her wedding, for example....I'll understand (me and her other friend don't get along very well). Conflict makes INFPs hyperventilate and want to curl up into a ball and disappear. >.> I wouldn't be happy about it, but I'm not going to cause a scene by inviting myself or being a dramabomb about it. I'd probably just quietly congratulate her with a card that would slowly eat away at the guilt parts of her feelbads if she did something like that. :P I don't expect that to be the case, but I do imagine she's sweating over what to do about having both of us in the same place....as if I couldn't just sit on the groom's side and bow out of the reception. Blah.

    That was more specific than I intended to be. I guess it's just on my mind since I don't want to be presumptuous and bring it up first.

    Anyway, for the most part I can amuse myself. I might be mildly offended if the plans for the event happen right in front of me and I don't get invited....but meh. Only big stuff really bothers me, and even that I can get over. I can spend my time posting here!

  6. #5
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I tend to go where I'm invited and if I'm not invited, stay away. I don't want to cause drama and I can probably find somebody else to hang out with. If I'm not invited, but a friend who was specifically asks me to go WITH them, I probably will.
    Bumblyjack and rawrmosher thanked this post.

  7. #6

    I usually cross my fingers that i'm not included, i don't like being put on the spot about attending anything far in advance, i may say yes and change my mind the day of.:D I wouldn't attend anything i'm not invited too, and its likely if i wasn't invited this is somewhere i wouldn't want to be anyways.
    Ace Face, Ace Face, Ace Face and 12 others thanked this post.

  8. #7
    ENFP - The Inspirers

    I have the opposite problem... I always feel obligated to go places when I am invited and don't want to go... This Sunday for example, I'm still contemplating how I will turn down all the various Super Bowl invitations I'm getting.

  9. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Gottlieb View Post
    I have the opposite problem... I always feel obligated to go places when I am invited and don't want to go... This Sunday for example, I'm still contemplating how I will turn down all the various Super Bowl invitations I'm getting.
    I used to be that way too. I leaned to say no. If i really don't want to be doing it, i don't do it, period :D That didn't come overnight either, it took a few years of practicing the word no and let go of the obligation ;p

    Superbowl party at my house. My husband has one every year, tis tis, i'll be happy when its all said and done ;p

  10. #9

    Wow... where are you finding these people who invite you to so much? I rarely, RARELY get invited to go out with people. I wouldn't mind, except when I'm trying to make friends with people and I can see their pictures where they are going out with lots of people on Facebook. I'm not stupid; if you don't want to spend time with me at all, then just tell me that! Don't act as if you want to be my best friend and then ignore me outside of the particular setting.

    You can tell I'm not bitter about this, not at all!

  11. #10
    Unknown

    If I want someone there then I invite them, if not then I say to other people "you can invite them if you want to" and leave it to them. I wont avoid people, but I wont actively seek people I dislike.
    If it happens to me, I generally feel hurt unless they explain it to me. I like it being clear ><


     
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