[ENFP] I don't want anything

I don't want anything

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This is a discussion on I don't want anything within the ENFP Forum - The Inspirers forums, part of the NF's Temperament Forum- The Dreamers category; ...

  1. #1
    Unknown


    (INFP) I don't want anything

    Greetings, my ENFP cousins.

    Here's something I posted on the INFP forum:

    Quote Originally Posted by bmxyszss View Post
    I was in high school when I realized I didn't want to go further on that road: college degree, master degree, one of the respectable careers, PhD... It all looked like a big scam. I haven't changed my opinion ever since, but now I'm late on my twenties, and still haven't found something I want to do. There's lots of possibilities nowadays, but I feel stuck between them without nothing actually attracting me away from the void.

    Living in a shithole, working when I run out of money, reading all the time, and frying my brain with porn and, occasionally, drugs when I can't stand this anymore. And every alternative presents a bleak future: learning things I don't care about to get certificates? Working meaningless menial jobs for people I despise, since I lack the former?

    As for trying something new, I feel dry. There are lots of books about "doing your own thing," becoming an entrepreneur, but I feel out of touch with myself, with my feelings, with my very soul—how could I come up with something innovative, useful, worthy? I feel myself unable to be creative right now.

    Sure, in a way there's something I crave: to be left alone, away from most people I know, but "misanthrope" is not a profession, is it? I despair.
    I got some great answers over there, but I realize I've been remiss in failing to also seek the advice of those who have as major strength the very function that seems to have short-circuited in my life—though @Arzazar Szubrasznikarazar was kind to contribute to the original thread.

    Can you people comment on my situation?

    Thank you very much.
    Last edited by bmxyszss; 11-22-2016 at 03:42 PM.
    depth caress thanked this post.



  2. #2
    Unknown


    Anyone out there...?

  3. #3

    Quote Originally Posted by bmxyszss View Post
    It all looked like a big scam.....Working meaningless menial jobs for people I despise
    Welcome to my world. I just keep my eyes on the prize, self sufficiency. It's not easy. I'll ironically need help.
    depth caress and bmxyszss thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Unknown


    @Mick Travis, I suppose it's the same to everyone, though many don't stop long enough to realize. Anyway, I think you've just given me the missing piece: I've been unable to use my creativity (or extraverted intuition etc.) to overcome my current situation because I couldn't focus long enough on any single goal—because I didn't particular want anything—for it to start working, finding solutions to the problems that would appear and so on.

    Back on the original thread on the INFP forum, @BrainontheWall had recommended that I made a list of everything I could do, but, again, I couldn't decide on anything over the other possibilities; but yours is a good one: self-sufficiency. Finding myself a place where I won't feel miserable all the time, where I can actually flourish instead of being antagonized by being myself, and becoming able to pay the price for that seems like a worthy goal. I'll still have to deal with my tendency to procrastinate—I'm inclined to put "reading Emerson's Self-Reliance at the top of my to-do list right now, and I'll know there would be more after that—but it's nice to have a direction.
    Last edited by bmxyszss; 12-01-2016 at 05:59 AM.
    prsvrnc and Mick Travis thanked this post.

  6. #5

    @bmxyszss
    The way to look at this is

    1) What would you do if you could for instance paint or play an instrument?

    Then ask yourself what's stopping you from doing so?

    The moment you sit, reflect and come to terms that the very thing that is stopping you is no one but yourself and will power.

    You will go a long way.

    Secondly, sat yourself something benign, odd and different every day like "today I am going to have a grilled Brussels sprout sandwich with mayo".

    Why?

    That is something you can answer by yourself .) if you don't try.. you will never know what you can achieve.
    angelcarnivore and bmxyszss thanked this post.

  7. #6
    Unknown


    @TechFreak, if I could play an instrument, make really good music, I'd probably become a hobo, and live from the change I got from playing on street corners. What's stopping me from doing so? First, I don't have money to buy a violin; also, there aren't classes for that instrument here in this town. I could overcome the former obstacle by saving money, but right now that would be better spent covering my debts; I could deal with the latter by finding some online course, but despite my usual autodidactism, musical is an area outside my experience, and it maybe it would be better to have a teacher in the beginning just so I don't acquire nasty habits. Anyway, there are more useful skills I should be learning—though so far I've been indecisive on which one to choose—and becoming a bard would most probably just worry my family, because this is terrible country and doing (or just being) on the streets is a bad thing if one can avoid it.

    But if you don't mean music, specifically, but asking myself what if I could do X, then it's like I wrote above, and what I want is, for the first time in my life, to experience living in a calm place, at least somewhat safe, where I don't have to worry about getting shot for sticking my head out of the gate, where I can feel at ease and do my stuff, read, write, or perhaps just think. Well, here that would take a) working for the government, so I could b) afford living in a highly-secured closed community (which costs a lot), and c) have good health care so people I care about will stop dying because my country's health system is a butchery; the alternative is leaving the damn place altogether—which I would strongly prefer. Both options, of course, demand time and effort.

    As for your final suggestion, I've being doing myself odd benign stuff for a while... Actually, that's basically all I do: there are lots of things I should be doing, but instead I read books about anything; when I'm tired of that, sometimes I even play some old games. I think I need more discipline instead of self-indulgence right now.
    prsvrnc and TechFreak thanked this post.

  8. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by bmxyszss View Post
    @TechFreak, if I could play an instrument, make really good music, I'd probably become a hobo, and live from the change I got from playing on street corners. What's stopping me from doing so? First, I don't have money to buy a violin; also, there aren't classes for that instrument here in this town. I could overcome the former obstacle by saving money, but right now that would be better spent covering my debts; I could deal with the latter by finding some online course, but despite my usual autodidactism, musical is an area outside my experience, and it maybe it would be better to have a teacher in the beginning just so I don't acquire nasty habits. Anyway, there are more useful skills I should be learning—though so far I've been indecisive on which one to choose—and becoming a bard would most probably just worry my family, because this is terrible country and doing (or just being) on the streets is a bad thing if one can avoid it.
    Well you could always fashion a banjo out of a tin lid, wire strings and piece of wood . Joking aside which region do you live in? Surely it can't be that bad?

    Quote Originally Posted by bmxyszss View Post
    But if you don't mean music, specifically, but asking myself what if I could do X, then it's like I wrote above, and what I want is, for the first time in my life, to experience living in a calm place, at least somewhat safe, where I don't have to worry about getting shot for sticking my head out of the gate, where I can feel at ease and do my stuff, read, write, or perhaps just think. Well, here that would take a) working for the government, so I could b) afford living in a highly-secured closed community (which costs a lot), and c) have good health care so people I care about will stop dying because my country's health system is a butchery; the alternative is leaving the damn place altogether—which I would strongly prefer. Both options, of course, demand time and effort.
    Darn... that is pretty messed up.

    Quote Originally Posted by bmxyszss View Post
    As for your final suggestion, I've being doing myself odd benign stuff for a while... Actually, that's basically all I do: there are lots of things I should be doing, but instead I read books about anything; when I'm tired of that, sometimes I even play some old games. I think I need more discipline instead of self-indulgence right now.
    I think you answered your own questions when you said "demand time and effort" and that you "need more discipline instead of self-indulgence right now". So my question to you now is what stopping you from putting the time, effort and striving to be more disciplined?

    After all change can be inferred however for one to truly change it must come from with-in. Otherwise may be able affect change but you're the only person that can see it through. You can do it!
    angelcarnivore thanked this post.

  9. #8

    Street musicians are cancer of the society. They are public nuisance bothering people working in stores and caffe houses and other places, interrupting listening to music with headphones.

    I hate these fuckers. I'd love to paint walls with their blood.

    Would be awesome if they'd be outlawed and police would remove them from public spaces. One of the few advantages of malls is that they don't allow these fuckers to play inside. Maybe if the state doesn't want to do what should be done, maybe the city centre should be privatised and treated like a big fucking open-air mall.

  10. #9

    There must be *some* people you don't despise. Find out what these people need, what problems they face, what comforts and entertainments they enjoy. Discover what the people you like are missing, and service them with it and have them compensate you for your efforts.

    If you hate everyone, well, then you face starvation and loud music. Humans survive by interacting with other humans. It needn't be unpleasant.
    bmxyszss thanked this post.

  11. #10

    I went down that road. I ended up finding out I really like customer support even though hard and draining it is. I just keep trying and trying until I found something I enjoyed. I'm not particularly talented or do anything very well, I just kept trying.
    angelcarnivore, TechFreak and bmxyszss thanked this post.


     
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