Blind-spot Over Focus: Thoughts/Experiences? - Page 2

Blind-spot Over Focus: Thoughts/Experiences?

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This is a discussion on Blind-spot Over Focus: Thoughts/Experiences? within the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by Krayfish sx blinds: Becomes creepily obsessive about a person, relationship, or topic, oversharing of personal information, going ...

  1. #11
    Type 4w3

    Quote Originally Posted by Krayfish View Post
    sx blinds: Becomes creepily obsessive about a person, relationship, or topic, oversharing of personal information, going to the extremes to find stimulating experiences
    1) Have you ever experienced blind-spot over focus or know anyone else who has? Describe your experience.
    Whew, I do experience this a lot. Whenever I find myself interested in a person, I start to stalk them, both online and in real life. I try to find out all their interests and their daily schedules without having to talk to them because actually getting close to them freaks me out. But I do hunger for this stimulation of getting to know someone to this extent and I feel that this is my best alternative, I suppose.

    I do this even more when it comes to topics. Honestly, I really only have like three interests at a time but I become completely fixated on them, almost unable to talk and think about something else. I've been told by a lot of people that I have a tendency to become above and beyond obsessive regarding things that I enjoy, probably the only sources of excitement in my boring life. Behaviors like this made me think that I'm not sx blind, but I guess it's just the opposite now.

    Like you, I also experience the so blindspot overfocus, becoming resentful about society. I think it's just because I'm a friendless loser in real life so I've become really bitter about it.

    2) What other behaviors do you think could be added to this list?
    I can't think of any right now, I think you hit the nail right on the head in terms of sx blind.
    piano, Krayfish and nep2une thanked this post.

  2. #12

    Gotta admit this is still kinda mindfuck to me, because how do you tell it from the first instinct then, considering the first instinct is also something you can have an unhealthy overfocus on? That's why it's the dominant instinct, since you have a neurotic obsession with it. If you are unhealthy in general, I imagine any focus is going to be unhealthy anyway.

  3. #13
    Type 2w1

    Quote Originally Posted by Remnants View Post
    Gotta admit this is still kinda mindfuck to me, because how do you tell it from the first instinct then, considering the first instinct is also something you can have an unhealthy overfocus on? That's why it's the dominant instinct, since you have a neurotic obsession with it. If you are unhealthy in general, I imagine any focus is going to be unhealthy anyway.
    yeah, this is the problem I have with sp

    but I think it might have to do with everyday/a phase?
    Krayfish thanked this post.

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  5. #14
    Type 7w6

    Quote Originally Posted by dulcinea View Post
    so blind would be mine. I think I would let myself get resentful towards others and society for being rejected for being different. I have a tender spot about people who are rigid in how they think people should be behave and are judgmental towards those who behave "wrongly." I still tend to see society as very judgmental in nature, towards those who dare socialize differently from the norm. I also think my resentment is justified when I see parents who would rather see their children spread deadly diseases than, God forbid! be autistic.

    I've learned to cool it down, over time, however. It's still really difficult for me to not obsess over the one person, whom I think I might have offended, or who doesn't like me or whatever. I've had to teach myself to not take it so personally. I struggle with group dynamics, and I don't think it's something that I'll ever be able to have a great deal of confidence in; I feel like I can lose control of a situation very quickly, which can make me uncomfortable. The best thing I can do, in groups is to act calm and to learn to focus on one person at a time.
    It's interesting to see other SO blinds note that they can become essentially obsessed with another person. I'm SX/SP, so .. yeah.. this is my life. Not always fun.
    dulcinea and Krayfish thanked this post.

  6. #15
    Type 2


    Quote Originally Posted by Viole View Post
    It's interesting to see other SO blinds note that they can become essentially obsessed with another person. I'm SX/SP, so .. yeah.. this is my life. Not always fun.
    Sometimes, I can get obsessed with another person, but I guess, not being sx first, it's not a big thing for me, although, in the past, it has led to boundary issues. But, I also deal with boundary issues, by eventually withdrawing if I don't know how to control it. That's probably and sp first kind of thing.
    Krayfish thanked this post.

  7. #16
    Type 4w5

    Yea, I tend to experience this due to sx-blind. Like, I'm Sx blind, but I'm still an INFP, and the need for intimacy is still very much alive in me but I also of the So first obsessions, and the two desires fight each other. It's like I want love so bad but I have to have it in a way that lines up with my So needs, someone who would fit into my group. And sometimes I can seek sx in a panic because I feel like I will never fully feel close with anybody, so I'll blurt out some personal thing as like a cry for help. I remember in a group we were asked a personal question, and I just blurted out this personal story, very un-refined and shaky voice and all, and I just felt horribly over exposed and that I looked like a fucking nervous wreck. Like Louis CK I felt very out of my element.

    And when I am hurting I just want someone to talk to that won't judge me and I can just blurt everything out to, but my SO gets in the way with most people, this has only ever truly happened with an ISFP girl, maybe that Fi-Fi connection just felt so much like home the words fell out of my mouth.

    But with others I try to get to that level of depth but I am so concerned of "looking" a certain way I tread lightly with the details, but secretly inside I want some to pull me the fuck out and shake me and say "TELL ME WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON!". I do want some instense sx punch in the heart, some kind of stimulation that breaks the mundaneness of life and makes me feel alive because the core of who I am has finally been fully engaged.

    I was involved with an So-last girl and her overfocus does match the description of so-last overfocus, hating society for being judging and rejecting people and not reaching out to people in need.
    @Quernus that's interesting that you can only relate to the So instinct from a removed perspective.
    I feel the same with Sx, like I can only really relate to it as a dream, something I wish I could have but don't have.


    Interestingly enough when I did have it when I have dated sx girls, at some point I feared they loved me too much, I had to have one girl convince me that I loved her as much as she loved me, a strange experience to say the least.
    So perhaps I idealize the instinct in my head where in reality it can be overwhelming, but nonetheless extremely securing, which matters more to me.

    I don't know, I'm So first, sx blind, but I'm still INFP type 4, and it's weird man(and as a type 4 I guess I'm supposed to think that lol) lol. Two strong opposing drives, Intimacy - Recognition, and often one gets sacrificed for the other.
    @Remnants , I think you know your first instinct if it's constant and you meet it's needs more smoothly. It's still a neurotic obession but you have more of a controlled grip on it than the over focus, the over focus is like you trying to over-compensate for something you recognize you lack.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jaune Valjaune View Post
    Whew, I do experience this a lot. Whenever I find myself interested in a person, I start to stalk them, both online and in real life. I try to find out all their interests and their daily schedules without having to talk to them because actually getting close to them freaks me out. But I do hunger for this stimulation of getting to know someone to this extent and I feel that this is my best alternative, I suppose.
    Wow, thanks for wording it so perfectly, especially the best alternative part that's exactly how I feel.
    I have been obsessed with people, but still could not find the way to connect with them.
    mistakenforstranger, JVal and Krayfish thanked this post.

  8. #17

    This is interesting!

    Well. I wonder if SO-lasts makes efforts to be inclusive of everyone or connect everyone, in a way that ends up being awkward or negative and which they inevitably back out of.

    An example is in the middle of a work training I started going on an unnecessary (BUT RELEVANT) tangent about basic needs not being met, which did end up engaging everyone but in a way that students and instructors alike were getting upset, and then I quietly detached from the conversation because I didn't know what to do. Lol. But I was initially trying to advocate for the staff.

    I also try to socialize so I can engage ~everyone~ but just kind of end up being random and not knowing where I'm going with conversations. The best is when me and another SO-blind person comically try to do this to one another at the same time and end up running away from each other.

    My new boss is SO-blind and he does the same kind of thing! He tries to engage everyone in ways that end up being awkward and stressful. He also says things like "Let's set this [event] so everyone can talk and engage" in a way that kind of fades out and leaves the rest up to everyone else, including the socializing and engaging.

    I find that a lot of SX-blind peers I've known are: more into partying than I figure they would be, find sex edgy(or something??) to talk about, may be very flirtatious out of nowhere.

    Your explanation of SP-blind just made it so clear that one of my friends is SP-overfocusing...I was so confused about that!
    Krayfish thanked this post.

  9. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by Jaune Valjaune View Post
    I do this even more when it comes to topics. Honestly, I really only have like three interests at a time but I become completely fixated on them, almost unable to talk and think about something else. I've been told by a lot of people that I have a tendency to become above and beyond obsessive regarding things that I enjoy, probably the only sources of excitement in my boring life. Behaviors like this made me think that I'm not sx blind, but I guess it's just the opposite now.
    Holy shit, this is me. I knew about sx-blind overfocus in terms of stalking/fixating on one person, but I didn't realize that it applied to hobbies and interests as well. I have a pattern of hyper-focusing on one interest for months/years at a time, and then getting sick of it and moving onto something else. I guess the difference between sx passion and sx-blind overfocus is that people with sx can more seamlessly integrate new romantic partners/interests into their life, whereas sx-lasts will feel destabilized and consumed by them since intense passion isn't a natural state for us.
    JVal and Krayfish thanked this post.

  10. #19
    Type 4w3


    Quote Originally Posted by Catwalk View Post
    Stands out; but blends it by dress code of the other. Likes hanging out in an environment with no direct excitement, but in high possibility of the alarm going off. On edge. Bored easily, so they joined the SS.

    SX is still there; in the 3rd degree. It manifests like lingerie under the suits.

    Oh, you mean those ppl who always look like they have it going good for them (by playing by the rules, being strictly proper, etc.)? Who never let those shades drop to expose that they've never meant it seriously? That the façade, trends, memberships, fan-clubs, music love, concert-going, were just artifice, for status, just temporary tools of the trade? That to work together, meant they were primarily out for their own interests, that which they spent pleasurably via hearty fun with the colleagues (i.e. business trips, conferences) over not so fun counterpoints (i.e. to the detriment of some poor sob, i.e. "scapegoat," "fall guy," "sacrifice,"/the working class/3rd World denizens wallowing in our trash in Ghana, etc.)? That this fun was also mandatory (i.e. networking, socializing) to facilitate friendly favors (i.e. nepotism, favoritism) and generous permissions for switching positions for better prospects (i.e. socioeconomic upward mobility, payed pseudo-employment/covert early retirement, etc.), in the name of universal, cordial, homosocial love (i.e. group orgies, swinging, wife-sharing, etc.)? All in order to keep the ball rolling (i.e. the props and stage, extras, actors, mise-en-scène of this quick-as-a-flash tragicomic piece called the human condition par excellence)?









    And all of it because irony, tongue-in-cheek, nudge-and-wink and the turning-blind-eye-poker-facing complicity (i.e. Sx blind manifesting through the social, i.e. the suits & shades) is refreshingly exciting and PHUU-UUN??!



    gimmeabreak
    Last edited by Neokortex; 06-09-2018 at 01:43 PM.
    Krayfish thanked this post.

  11. #20

    I thought I had experienced this, but I've decided that it was just another manifestation of my dominant instinct, Sp. The focus on social cohesion is just a focus on another type of security.

    My mistake became clear to me as I realized that I had almost no interest in group dynamics for their own sake—I've never much cared about having friends, I've tended to be oblivious to social position and social expectations, and I don't value team effort as anything but a necessary evil.
    Krayfish thanked this post.


     
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