This is my first post on here, and I've found many others to be very helpful. I would love some thoughts on this...I've read all that I can find online about relationships between Type 4's and Type 5's, and everything I've read doesn't quite seem to hit the nail on the head with this discussion.
This question can apply to both close friendships and romantic relationships. I'm a 4 and my partner is a 5, and I've recently found myself super discouraged because it feels like we are on two polar opposite ends of connection.
I'll speak about it conceptually rather than personally (something I'm learning to do) so that it's easier to apply to more people and get feedback. Maybe it will reach both the 4's and the 5's.
My discouragement lies in this...if 4's desire to share and be known...to be able to explore the depths of emotion and deep heart places and share them with people but 5's tend to stay in the mind and desire to share knowledge and explore the mental world...how can the two find common ground and be fulfilled? Also, if 4's hate to feel rejection and desire to connect but 5's often get overwhelmed and withdraw, it seems as if it would leave one party continually feeling unfulfilled.
For the 4 - feeling like he/she is too much, too overwhelming, that his/her feelings don't matter, and that he/she is not celebrated for the things that are important to him/her. And for the 5 - feeling like he/she can't have the space he/she needs to process, feeling like he/she is being invaded by connection...etc.
It just sometimes feels impossible to make these opposites work, and for me, as a 4, causes me to wall up, shut down, and feel like the situation is hopeless. It doesn't feel fair for me to not be able to share the depth of emotions and experience connection but it also doesn't feel fair for a 5 to have to push themselves to connect when they want to withdraw. I'm a type 4w3 and my partner is a type 5w4 if that helps!
My question is this...? How can these two types meet in the middle, find common ground, feel valued and loved, and make a relationship work? I'd love to hear some success stories.