But for what it's worth I really admire sp-first-ness. I just can't make sp stuff more of a pressing concern in my mind. I love sp-first energy though. It's comfortable, healing. I guess that's why I like surrounding myself with it.
Edit to add - my mom is a giver, always, but she makes me think of the airline advisory about putting your oxygen mask on first before you help your kids secure theirs. My mom does this in everyday life. If she needs sleep, she goes to bed. She packs herself lunch. She takes breaks at work. She takes space and time for herself. Even when my brother was extremely sick and possibly not going to make it in the hospital, she told me that we needed to go get rest at the hotel and to take care of ourselves. I was having a hard time with that and she reminded me that we weren't any good for him if we weren't functional. And that he wouldn't want us to be miserable, either. (And I'm so glad she had us do that - she was right - the small things like showering and eating were our lifelines at that point.) She absolutely circles her life around others and taking care of them but she makes sure that she is up and running and she seems to have little problem stepping away to care for herself. I admire this in her.LOL! It's great to read this because I had such a similar experience with my sp parents. I wouldn't really call my parents' relationship cool or formal - it was warm, and practical, and with gentle humor - but it often just seemed not-quite-there to me. Not nearly the amount of kisses, or physical touch, or just overall "oozing" that even as a young age I apparently was looking for. Now as an adult I see and understand it, of course, but total mindf*ck as a kid. And equivalently so for them with me, probably, with my fiery outbursts and single-minded tracking and kamikaze emotional tactics. Now that I look back on it, it's interesting that while my mom (sp/so) was closer and warmer, I think my dad (sp/sx) probably understood me better in ways.Originally Posted by Dare