SP Dominant people, how do YOU know your primary instinct is Self-Preservation? - Page 4

SP Dominant people, how do YOU know your primary instinct is Self-Preservation?

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This is a discussion on SP Dominant people, how do YOU know your primary instinct is Self-Preservation? within the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by Coburn I also know an sp-last person and it baffles me to this day how she survives. ...

  1. #31
    Type 6w7

    Quote Originally Posted by Coburn View Post
    I also know an sp-last person and it baffles me to this day how she survives. She de-prioritizes literally everything sp I hold sacred.
    Yeah I honestly wonder that for myself sometimes too. But if it says anything I lived with my two sp-first parents till college, and they still supported me through college, and then almost immediately after college I met my sp-first husband. So...

    But for what it's worth I really admire sp-first-ness. I just can't make sp stuff more of a pressing concern in my mind. I love sp-first energy though. It's comfortable, healing. I guess that's why I like surrounding myself with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dangerose View Post
    edit ii: i just find the concept of sp 2 very confusing, makes sense to see a sx 2 looking for love from a lover primarily, so 2 from a group primarily, but sp 2...from bread primarily??? can never quite make it work (:
    I'm fairly well convinced that my mom is sp/so 2w1 and I think you're totally right that sp 2 is countertype. When she took the Enneagram test at work she came out a 9, which I think was a logical result, but she said herself that some of the things about it didn't really click. The most distinctive factor is how active her energy is. She is always on the move, assertive, protective, independent, engaging, sociable, dynamic. She's also very compassionate, modest, and humble, but she has a hard time being still, which IMO is pretty much an immediate dealbreaker for 9. She also related more to the role of "Helper" than "Peacemaker", though she definitely advocates for harmony and I'm sure 9 is in her tritype (I think she's 279). I see her sp-ness in her way of being a resource provider. She just helped my brother move into college by driving to his dorm with supplies, going shopping for necessities, and getting his room set up. She did something very similar when she helped me move not long ago. She helps my (INTP sp/sx 5) dad with the day-to-day practicalities - clothing, food, household supplies, and generally coordinates anything planning-related (conference trips, vacations, etc.) for him. She really picks up on things people like and always keeps an eye out for them - she even will buy my husband's favorite mustard if she knows he's coming over. I don't know my husband's favorite mustard. She's a special education teacher with young kids and helps determine their challenges and works on addressing them through play. She's really not that touchy-feely, even though she's an ESFJ. She's warm and attentive and caring, but she's a doer, not an emoter. But she absolutely reads people's needs and meets them through resources, and uses that to stay close with the ones she loves. (And she's affiliative, cooperative, strategic, group/social-politics-aware - that social-second at play.)

    Edit to add - my mom is a giver, always, but she makes me think of the airline advisory about putting your oxygen mask on first before you help your kids secure theirs. My mom does this in everyday life. If she needs sleep, she goes to bed. She packs herself lunch. She takes breaks at work. She takes space and time for herself. Even when my brother was extremely sick and possibly not going to make it in the hospital, she told me that we needed to go get rest at the hotel and to take care of ourselves. I was having a hard time with that and she reminded me that we weren't any good for him if we weren't functional. And that he wouldn't want us to be miserable, either. (And I'm so glad she had us do that - she was right - the small things like showering and eating were our lifelines at that point.) She absolutely circles her life around others and taking care of them but she makes sure that she is up and running and she seems to have little problem stepping away to care for herself. I admire this in her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dare
    From my perspective it was as if two people got together and agreed to run a business called 'homemaking'. It was formal, cool like clockwork. No complaints, but no kisses either. My mother's behavior screamed 'devoted' but she never ran to the door upon his return. He was even more formal/colder (sp/so vs sp/sx). If these were Russian sleeper agents using this rouse as cover, that would have explained everything perfectly to my SX mind (somehow that would have been a relief). But no doubt they were just as baffled by my just-warming-up-here early SX antics (fortunately my mother had a sense of humor).
    LOL! It's great to read this because I had such a similar experience with my sp parents. I wouldn't really call my parents' relationship cool or formal - it was warm, and practical, and with gentle humor - but it often just seemed not-quite-there to me. Not nearly the amount of kisses, or physical touch, or just overall "oozing" that even as a young age I apparently was looking for. Now as an adult I see and understand it, of course, but total mindf*ck as a kid. And equivalently so for them with me, probably, with my fiery outbursts and single-minded tracking and kamikaze emotional tactics. Now that I look back on it, it's interesting that while my mom (sp/so) was closer and warmer, I think my dad (sp/sx) probably understood me better in ways.
    Last edited by angelfish; 08-18-2019 at 11:10 AM.
    Coburn, Dangerose, Marvin the Dendroid and 3 others thanked this post.

  2. #32
    Type 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post

    What kind of an INFP handles the day-to-day admin of life well anyway?
    Haha yes, that always confused me about the instinct descriptions of Sp, I mean you would have a hard time finding any Infp who will be preoccupied with practical basic, day to day stuff, etc. Always left me wondering how Infps could identify with SP, while at the same time it makes sense as Sp is about how you deal with yourself and so on to a big extent.

  3. #33
    Type 4w5

    Quote Originally Posted by Merkurin View Post
    I always wonder how this plays out in different MBTI types. I , as example, am an Infp and I'm currently torn between sp/sx or sx/sp for myself.
    Why i think i could be sp first: I never really depended on others - groups or individuals - and I always tried my best not to do so. So I've awlways been pretty self sufficient in this sense, oftentimes to the point of refusing any help or support from the outside. ( I notice while writing that this might be rather a SO blindspot thing than SP first in itself but whatever). I 'm also rather tight with money and I tend to highly value and take care of my possesions. I'm concerned about avoiding seriously dangerous or harmful situations in the sense that I prefer not to risk my life or happines for whatever.
    On the other hand, I can sometimes be rather detached from material possesions and things, just from the material world in general and I'm definitely not very in touch with my body. Sometimes simply noticing if I'm hungry or not can be a real struggle, and that is just one example. Also, I can easily forget bodily needs as such if i don't pay concious attention to it, or I just neglect them. I've noticed that I am not that concerned about - or sensitive to - environmental factors, e.g. lightning, heat, humidity or food/ food quality compared to others as well. In general, I sometimes find it hard attending and paying attention to the "basics" in life. That's what makes me think SP doesn't fit me that well. But then, all the latter things I mentioned are pretty typical for Infps imo or just an Intuitive vs Sensor thing and therefore maybe don't have to do with instinct, in this contex at least; being a bit unpractical, being a bit detached from the pysical world or concrete physical reality, being more about ideas/theory/possibility vs being more practical, more about immediate actual reality and real things.
    What do you think?
    Instincts are basically all about what makes us tick. Our dominant instinct is what we most pay attention, so much so that it almost become impossible to see for an untrained eye. We also tend to become obsess with areas of our life pertaining to our dominant instinct and especially neglect the last preferred one, hence the blindspot.

    You're absolutely right when you say that MBTI (and Enneagram type) plays a big role in SP's manifestation. since SP is all about personal survival, health and well-being, a dominant or auxiliary intuitive MBTI type might use it a bit differently than Sensors. Likewise, they are also Enneatypes that are more naturally associated with certain instincts, like social or sexual for TWOs, self-preserving for SIX, sexual for FOUR, etc. Finally, there's also this important concept of mental health when looking at dominant instincts. An unhealthy SP-dom is most likely to neglect their physical health, have an irregular shedule or very predictable one, etc.
    On the other hand, a healthy SP-dom will effectively manage their body and schedule in a natural and balanced rhythm. So how can we differenciate an unhealthy SP-dom with an unhealthy SP-blind (last)? The focus of attention and the need to fix the problem. SP-dom need to be in-sync with their body-awareness in order to feel comfortable and elated. Chaos is this area of life (health, finances, security, etc.) will feel extremely unconfortable and will greatly affect their work performance and overall demeanor. Self-preservation is literally a big deal to them.

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  5. #34
    Type 9

    Quote Originally Posted by Karkino View Post

    Finally, there's also this important concept of mental health when looking at dominant instincts.
    Yes, I know that. But with me, pretty much all of my instincts are fucked up to some extent and have been so in the last couple of years 😂😅. That' s also said to be likely if you're mentally or psychologically in a low state. It doesn't necessarily just mess up your doninant, but actually all of your instincts.That's what I read somewhere at least, however, for me it holds very true.
    Last edited by Merkurin; 08-19-2019 at 08:57 AM.

  6. #35

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    SP all the way. I am completely detached from my body and have never given a rat's arse about possessions, I really don't think those things are SP-related in intuitives. Sensors maybe, or some sensors anyway.

    What kind of an INFP handles the day-to-day admin of life well anyway?
    How would you say Sp instinct, or your own, manifests in intuitive types? I mean, that is besides having a love for durian, or wait, is that your sx?

    I always said I was the least practical person I know and always found it hard to relate to sp in general even though I was typing myself first as sp/so, but I just attributed my terrible use of sp to inferior Se. Now I’m not so sure that’s all it was, and reading more people talk about sp, I’m not sure why I ever did type as sp-dom, besides the fact I was typing myself as that based on Chestnut’s subtype description for sp-4. One thing I can say I’m not that seems common to sp-doms is being self-sufficient. I’m pretty clueless when it comes to taking care of myself, and usually have to seek the advice of those better equipped with sp to know what to do.

    I think one thing about instincts that seems to get lost when we focus on the “instinctual” quality of it is that it’s not necessarily about “survival”, but also what gives you satisfaction in a way too. When you meet that need, it also feels good to do so, which can also lead to a “neuroticism” of overindulging in it too. I mean, that seems pretty obvious, but I see Enneagram teachers always giving it ironically this sp-focused angle to it, which makes sense too since sp is in some sense everyone’s primary instinct. At a base level, everyone has to have some level of self-preservation. Social and Sexual in general could be seen as less necessary to fulfill, or even accessible in some cases (You’re never guaranteed friends or a romantic partner, for instance, but you’re always stuck with yourself), but then I’d imagine a so-dom or sx-dom not fulfilling their primary instinctual need to be a very unhappy person.

  7. #36

    Quote Originally Posted by mistakenforstranger View Post
    How would you say Sp instinct, or your own, manifests in intuitive types? I mean, that is besides having a love for durian, or wait, is that your sx?
    Equating survival with SP never made any sense to me. The instincts only make sense to me as a way to explain what kind of energy you instinctively focus on, something like...

    SP = your own energy
    SO = group energy
    SX = sexual energy (which doesn't have to be sexual ... it's based on sexuality but could focus on work etc.)

    I can imagine how an SP-first ISTP might focus on survival and possessions and whatnot, but to me as an INFJ, it's more about being focused on what my Ni is up to, that internal universe of dazzling lights.
    Last edited by Marvin the Dendroid; 08-19-2019 at 04:48 PM.

  8. #37

    SP being equated with possessions is BS. This is all I own. I've never cared about things. They weigh me down; the less I have, the lighter I feel. I don't care to own nice things. I would probably be happy as a hermit in a cave if it was sufficiently warm and I had a decent bed. I am mainly focused on myself, but couldn't care less about things and possessions. Fuck 'em.



    (I don't own the car, it was a rental.)

  9. #38

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    Equating survival with SP never made any sense to me. The instincts only make sense to me as a way to explain what kind of energy you instinctively focus on, something like...

    SP = your own energy
    SO = group energy
    SX = sexual energy (which doesn't have to be sexual ... it's based on sexuality but could focus on work etc.)


    I can imagine how an SP-first ISTP might focus on survival and possessions and whatnot, but to me as an INFJ, it's more about being focused on what my Ni is up to, that internal universe of dazzling lights.

    SP being equated with possessions is BS. This is all I own. I've never cared about things. They weigh me down; the less I have, the lighter I feel. I don't care to own nice things. I would probably be happy as a hermit in a cave if it was sufficiently warm and I had a decent bed. I am mainly focused on myself, but couldn't care less about things and possessions. Fuck 'em.



    (I don't own the car, it was a rental.)
    Have you seen this movie? I believe the main character is sp/sx.

     




    SP being equated with possessions is BS. This is all I own. I've never cared about things. They weigh me down; the less I have, the lighter I feel. I don't care to own nice things.
    I don't really care about "things" either and go without a lot, but I don't think I have the perspective of "They weigh me down; the less I have, the lighter I feel."

    I would probably be happy as a hermit in a cave if it was sufficiently warm and I had a decent bed.
    And this is how I know I'm not social-last. As hermity and cut off as I am already from a lot of people, I wouldn't want to be that cut off.
    Marvin the Dendroid, Dare and Merkurin thanked this post.

  10. #39

    Quote Originally Posted by mistakenforstranger View Post

    Have you seen this movie? I believe the main character is sp/sx.
    Yes. I'm a fan. Apart from dying alone in Alaska, I dig the lifestyle.

    I don't really care about "things" either and go without a lot, but I don't think I have the perspective of "They weigh me down; the less I have, the lighter I feel."
    It's not so much a perspective as a visceral feeling for me. It really feels heavy.

    And this is how I know I'm not social-last. As hermity and cut off as I am already from a lot of people, I wouldn't want to be that cut off.
    Absolutely. I have next to no SO-instinct. If I had a good partner, I don't think I'd need to see anyone else. Would probably talk to a few people online in addition and be content with that. I do miss that SX-connection very palpably when I don't have it, but SO... Just no.

    But I think it makes more sense to talk of SP/SX/SO as percentages, mine are probably 60/40/0 (or maybe 55/40/5).
    mistakenforstranger thanked this post.

  11. #40
    Type 2w3

    Quote Originally Posted by Marvin the Dendroid View Post
    I would probably be happy as a hermit in a cave if it was sufficiently warm and I had a decent bed.
    Marvin, why does it have to be warm, and why do you need any bed, let alone a decent one?

    I'm ahead of you in this regard.


     
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