It's seems likely that attachment in childhood and development of enneagram type are intertwined. If you're unfamiliar with attachment theory, here's an overview of the types.
Secure AttachmentAvoidant AttachmentThe secure attachment style is categorized by a positive view of self and a positive view of others. These individuals are described as having a sense of confidence, a positive approach to others, and high intimacy in their relationships. While their relationships may not be perfect, they are able to cope, be flexible, and adapt with what life may throw at them. They can therefore continue to grow and foster intimacy. Securely attached individuals show suitable amounts of emotional expression and vulnerability, and feel safe enough in their relationships to have reasonable levels of disclosure. Furthermore, securely attached individuals are able to depend and count on their partners, but also express an understanding for the need of some autonomy and independence in their relationships. These individuals can step back and objectively make realistic appraisals of their partner and the issues in their relationship, and also have the coping skills and the resilience to work on these issues.Anxious AttachmentAlso known as the island, someone with avoidant attachment style highly values self-sufficiency and independence. In childhood one or more of their parents (or caregivers) was completely rejecting or unresponsive to their needs. Alternatively they suffered from enmeshment and were forced to take on a more adult role thereby being used as an emotional crutch. They have learned that others are not reliable and uninterested in their needs, therefore they decided that it is safer not to need anyone else. They had to switch of feelings of having needs, being unloved and unwanted to survive.Fearful Avoidant AttachmentIn childhood their emotional needs where inconsistently satisfied or conditional upon pleasing the caregiver. They where often dealing with emotionally immature caregivers that required them to take on a parental or emotional crutch type role. This leads to the child's independence being impeded on as the caregiver interferes with decisions or imposes their will on the child. The unpredictability leads to a confused child that doubts their own self worth of being deserving of unconditional love. They will learn to be highly tuned in to others moods as they where required to constantly monitor their caregivers to try and find a way to work out what behaviour would bring them love. The low sense of self they feel will even be reflected in dreams. People with anxious attachment reported having more dreams where they were the bad guy, being chased by police, committing crimes and trying to run away etc.If you're interested, here's a mini-questionnaire:Fearful-avoidant attachment (also called disorganized) is an insecure form of relationship attachment which affects around 7% of the population. It is a combination of dismissive-avoidant and preoccupied-anxious attachment styles. Those with fearful-avoidant attachment believe that they do not deserve or are unworthy of love. However, equally, they do not trust needing another person for fear that they will be rejected. Fearful-avoidant attachment is the result of severe childhood trauma, emotional neglect or abuse. Scientific research illustrates that the first 18 months of a child's life impacts the brains development. Exposure to severe trauma can cause long-term damaging effects, which changes the sensitivity and emotional regulation of the brain.
1. What is your enneagram type?
2. What do you believe your attachment style is?
3. Attachment styles can change. It's not uncommon for a person with insecure attachment in childhood to develop into the secure type as an adult. Has your attachment style changed over time. If yes, how so?
4. How would you characterize your relationship with your parents during your childhood? How would you characterize it now?
5. What were formative experiences for you, positive or negative, in your childhood and adolescence?
6. What are romantic relationships usually like for you?
8. Siblings and extended family?
9. What would you consider to be your deepest fear when interacting with others?
10. Any other thoughts?