This is a discussion on Anyone else having great trouble determining their Enneagram type? within the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; Originally Posted by rajAs I would say you have been thinking enough (= too much) about your Etype. Well, this ...
I'm afraid we're going to monopolize this thread. You can contact me in private if you like, or open a topic for your identification in the proper forum.
By the way one of the three options will probably be associated to one or more experiences that you remember well. The others are probably driven by your mind.
I would say I avoid weakness failure and conflict the most. Weakness probably being my strongest fear, I don't like to feel in any way controlled or in a position to be taken advantage of. There are many things I'd prefer to endure in order to keep rank so to speak that others wouldn't.
In conflict situations though I can find it difficult to maintain my composure so can feel like I'm embarrassing myself sometimes, which is probably why I can also avoid conflict too.
Does that give you any clues?
I had a lot of difficulty determining my type. I thought I had a 9w1 type for a year, a 7w6 type for two years.
Currently, I think I have a 3w4 type. I say think because I was so certain in the past that I am reluctant to be certain now.
The difficulty was that, at first, I didn't even consider the "aggressive"/"extroverted" types. My entire life, I have been told that I am too quiet, and I have come to identify myself with that observation.
Also, I approached typing myself by reading the descriptions and typing myself based on which description I related to the most. I am the type of person who, once I knew the basics of the enneagram, would trick the test to get the answer that I thought was correct. I could see whatever traits I wanted to see in myself. I thought I was answering truthfully.
I realized I wasn't a 9 or a 7 by posting in the forums. I just didn't relate to others of those types and was always wondering if I had mistyped. I felt that I wasn't understanding the enneagram correctly.
I looked at type 4 again because someone was once certain I was a type 4 and because telling me what to do makes me rebel, but I didn't relate to it.
Looking at type 3 and remembering the things I have said and done and some of my more honest posts:
"I lie. I pretend. I act. I play along. I'll be whatever you want me to be. I'll be whoever you want me to be. I'll be perfect, a statue made of glass. You can pull me along by the arm like a doll. You can fill me with whatever thoughts and perspectives you want me to have. I'll do whatever you ask me to. I'll agree with whatever you say. But in the end, there is nothing there. An empty body."
Type 3 seemed to fit. I take traits that I like or that others like, and I try to exhibit them. I mold myself. I consciously change my look, my handwriting, the way I sit, the way I write. And there is nothing worse than being inactive, than doing nothing. Meditating is the closest thing to torture. And I have often thought that I would rather burn forever than live in a perfect world.
I remember when I decided to be apathetic because I admired the trait. But it was never natural. I remember when I decided to be fun. But being fun and having fun are different, and doing fun things was always just another goal. So maybe the 9 and the 7 tendencies arose from these decisions.
So I suggest that you look at what you have done before you knew about the enneagram, what you have said and written. What events affected you the most? Look at your actions and your motives, and you may find your true type.
I've got my tritype decently solid (3-5-8), but I question the order every now and then.
Otherwise I have no huge issues.