My Enneagram

My Enneagram

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This is a discussion on My Enneagram within the Enneagram Personality Theory Forum forums, part of the Personality Type Forums category; So I think I may be 9w1. I am not quite sure. I know little about Enneagram and I need ...

  1. #1
    Type 1


    My Enneagram

    So I think I may be 9w1. I am not quite sure. I know little about Enneagram and I need to stop being lazy and learn about it. I suppose I will get around to it when I lock mbti down. But for now I'll take advice. I originally meant to ask bear this question but you can certainly jump in.



  2. #2
    Unknown

    Why did you go with that avatar?

  3. #3
    Type 1


    Quote Originally Posted by Grim View Post
    Why did you go with that avatar?

    ....good question. I think it's because of the anger I feel inside of me. I feel a dissonance within me.....like something is missing. I think I have been focusing that outwardly lately. I am confused.....life does not make sense.....and I feel as if it should.....I feel ask if it should click at some point. My anger comes from....that in a way. The imperfection...that lack of an ideal in life.....makes me angry.

    That statue's facial expression is mine often. I guess I like statues ....maybe the angel statue reminds me of when I used to be a christian.... when I used to feel whole......and I guess it feels like things have taken a turn. I am no longer safe in another world.....I am unsafe in this world. The pain of having witnessed the archetypal" eternal garden" or having felt the "terrible joy of what it means to be alive" .....that memory....stays with me.
    I have felt pure joy.....that I cannot describe.....but logic..... and reality....have proven to me....that it is not real. .....THAT is what makes me so angry. That joy....that I felt so honestly..... so genuinely..... is just plain fake. That.....was not real. That tears me up inside. To be an idealist that knows nothing is ideal.
    susurration thanked this post.

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  5. #4
    Unknown

    Quote Originally Posted by thehigher View Post
    ....good question. I think it's because of the anger I feel inside of me. I feel a dissonance within me.....like something is missing. I think I have been focusing that outwardly lately. I am confused.....life does not make sense.....and I feel as if it should.....I feel ask if it should click at some point. My anger comes from....that in a way. The imperfection...that lack of an ideal in life.....makes me angry.

    That statue's facial expression is mine often. I guess I like statues ....maybe the angel statue reminds me of when I used to be a christian.... when I used to feel whole......and I guess it feels like things have taken a turn. I am no longer safe in another world.....I am unsafe in this world. The pain of having witnessed the archetypal" eternal garden" or having felt the "terrible joy of what it means to be alive" .....that memory....stays with me.
    I have felt pure joy.....that I cannot describe.....but logic..... and reality....have proven to me....that it is not real. .....THAT is what makes me so angry. That joy....that I felt so honestly..... so genuinely..... is just plain fake. That.....was not real. That tears me up inside. To be an idealist that knows nothing is ideal.
    Over in that other thread I mentioned that angels like that tend to personify 1w9 traits....

    This post doesnt seem much like 9 to me. 9s tend to internalize their anger... deny it... keep it contained. I've rarely seen an 9 offer up information about anger without being asked. Where is your anger focused?

    Also... how much do you relate to snail... Does she say some things that resonate with you?

  6. #5
    Type 1


    Quote Originally Posted by Grim View Post
    Over in that other thread I mentioned that angels like that tend to personify 1w9 traits....

    This post doesnt seem much like 9 to me. 9s tend to internalize their anger... deny it... keep it contained. I've rarely seen an 9 offer up information about anger without being asked. Where is your anger focused?

    Also... how much do you relate to snail... Does she say some things that resonate with you?
    I focus the anger ....it is rather hard to tell. I don't get mad at people easily....I am very empathetic. I suppose it is focused inwardly....but I do not deny it.

    I honestly I have never related to snail very much at all really.

  7. #6
    Unknown

    the gut types all have anger issues

    8s focus their anger outwardly
    9s deny it
    1s focus it inwardly


    do you relate to the idea of having a superego... like before you do anything you run it past this level of consciousness that sits above... almost like you're inner self is a mannequin and you can't do anything without the approval of that higher level of thinking? And if you fail to live up to your values the anger at self kicks in?

  8. #7
    Type 1


    Quote Originally Posted by Grim View Post
    the gut types all have anger issues

    8s focus their anger outwardly
    9s deny it
    1s focus it inwardly


    do you relate to the idea of having a superego... like before you do anything you run it past this level of consciousness that sits above... almost like you're inner self is a mannequin and you can't do anything without the approval of that higher level of thinking? And if you fail to live up to your values the anger at self kicks in?
    Huh, that's interesting. I feel like I am much closer to my id if anything. I think I strive to identify with the superego.

  9. #8
    Unknown

    Check around for some information on 1s. See what you think... the avatar... the name thehigher... anger focused inwardly.

    My thoughts for now are 1, probably 1w9.

    Post some thoughts here about what if anything you relate to from the profiles.
    thehigher thanked this post.

  10. #9
    Type 1

    To be perfectly fair, I'm not the best example of what a healthy type one is like, so if thehigher doesn't relate to me, it doesn't necessarily mean the typing is inaccurate. I'm at one of the destructive overly critical phases that comes and goes. This happens to me whenever I have a close encounter with a specific kind of panic trigger. There just happens to be an entire thread floating around here that is one massive panic attack trigger. Literally every single post in it opens my wounds and rubs salt in them, forces me back in time, makes me relive everything that ever hurt me. I can't make myself not look, because I hold onto this frail hope of eventual validation from even one person who is empathetic to my cause. Nobody is seeing the real me. This is mostly my shadow crusading until it is overwhelmed, then breaking down, gathering itself up again, and repeating the cycle like a phoenix that never quite rises entirely from the dark ashes of its burning pain.
    Posted via Mobile Device




  11. #10
    Unknown

    No... I've been thinking about that snail, and where ever your health sits... you still have the same values. He should be able to read your posts and find something in them he relates to.

    I think I'm putting too much weight on the angel avatar in terms of 1w9.

    thehigher, do you relate at all being highminded? Maybe you come off as a little preachy at times? Do you find you slip into the role of teaching others?


     
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