I've just discovered that my dominant instinctual variant is Sexual. And, it helps explains a lot to me about some of my tendencies. I tend to be all or nothing. I seek intensity and depth. I am a very passionate person and can be rather obsessive in my romantic relationships. Not obsessive in the stalker sense where I follow people around and/or harass them.
But, in the sense I can't get them off of my mind and they dominate my thoughts sense. When I was younger, I ran many of intimates away because I came on too strong in relationships. When I stop to think about it though, it is not just limited to relationships. I can be the same way about ideas, interests, goals, etc.
The other thing with romantic relationships is that I want to know everything about them when I drawn to them (doesn't happen with everybody). I want to know their mind, soul, spirit. I want to connect with them on deep level however, many times I'm afraid at the same time. I yearn to find someone that I can merge with so to speak.
Not to become one like in the fairy tale sense. But to connect with them and know them so deeply that they feel like an extension of myself. At least that is the best way that I can describe it. If I'm not in a relationship or in one where I'm not drawn to the other person, then I will find substitutes for this energy like goals, ideas, interests, hobbies, etc.
For instance, if I set a goal, it's like I become one with the goal, I eat and sleep it. It's as if I pour my whole self into it and all my energy is channeled into reaching my goal and I will stop at nothing until I have achieved the goals. Same things with ideas, I research it, think about it excessively, discuss it, eat and sleep it until I have mastered or completely exhausted all avenues of exploring the ideas.
I find this energy hell to deal with at times because I feel like a smoldering volcano about to erupt. It feels like an insatiable, unbridled fire in my belly that is constantly lamenting "feed me Seymour". Everything feels intensified and in the excess. I get accused of being too angry, too intense, too deep, too complicated, too involved, too whatever.
But the common denominator is "too". I'm sure part of this is due to my core Enneagram type. However, I would like to know how other Dominant Sexual Instinct Subtypes relate to Sx.
Can you relate?
Edit: I know Sexual instinct doesn't necessarily correlate to sexual activities. But, for me it shows up in the sexual arena too in excess as nymphomaniac tendencies. When I was younger, I was very, very promiscuous in my quest to experience excitement and intensity.